There's a thousand shades of gray when it comes to cheating. Absolutely no easy answers. None. Can't be summed up with a simple quip. There are so many circumstances that can be involved. All three parties play a role. And the roles are completely different in every single individual instance.

If you know the person being cheated on (friend, family), you should tell them. That's my opinion. The wronged party has a right to know.

Being cheated on sucks but sometimes they had it coming. While somebody else had it cumming ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Edit: Nah, but really, what you said is much more honest than what most of society is willing to accept.

I'm sure there are shades of grey to the cheater. There's no shades for the cheated.

What if they beat the **** out of the cheater all the time and the cheater was seeking some kind of safety or refuge in more loving arms but was too scared of being physically abused to break up plus they have a family with the abusive cheated?

Yeah.

Yeah I'm guessing that arsehole won't be very convinced by nuance either.

The wronged party has a right to know but it isn't your duty to tell them. :nono:

The messenger always gets crucified.

I would have to agree, yes. Straight people are weird and scary. It kind of unnerves me how quick people are to doxx someone, often without first double-checking the identity of the person in the picture within the story that's being circulated on facebook or tumblr or wherever in order to avoid accidentally crucifying the wrong person. (I've seen that happen a few times-- some random, innocent person's photo being used in a story or callout post that is, in fact, true, but has nothing to do with them. No idea how that happens, but it does.) That, and people lie, especially if they've just been rejected by their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse and are not exactly a shining paragon of mental stability. When my sister and her first husband divorced, he invented all sorts of rather convincing lies about her, ones that cost her her job, and I imagine if they'd have been active on social media at the time, it could have been quite disastrous.

But as for the cheating thing. I do think they (friends and family) deserve to know, and in the case of someone you don't know too well but are friendly with and care about even slightly-- maybe they could be told anonymously somehow, but then, that probably wouldn't work out well. Especially if you don't know the cheater very well, either.. if they (the cheater) were at all abusive, being told by their partner that so-and-so told them they were cheating could result in them isolating them or worse. Abusive, controlling relationships are far more common than people realize which is why I think one should be careful unless you know both parties fairly well.

Oh and those 'bad feminist' accusations are so annoying aren't they? Every time I get that it's always coming from one of those types who subscribe to the idea that EVERYTHING a woman does is automatically ~empowering~ and ultra-feminist (without bothering to look at why she feels so compelled to do these things) even if it's actively harming herself or others + perpetuating the very things and unhealthy behaviors they claim to be against.

If I found out a close person is being cheated on, I'd first talk to the cheater, urging them to come clean.