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Old 12-16-2016, 08:12 PM   #41711 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon View Post
I'm at my bf's work holiday party at this fancy old white folk "villa" and there are three of us that have been sitting at the table reserved for eight for an hour and a half and everybody is getting all uptight like "if there's only three of you we have to move you to a smaller table" and we're like "ok but we are still expecting the other people..." and my anxiety is at a level ten because I can't make small talk with ****ing Jane from accounting any longer so I just keep drinking wine and eating the free bread and we are the talk of the kitchen and I didn't even want to be here in the first place and I miss my dog

Edit:
I'm posting this from the ****ing bathroom (which I've visited six times since we got here). Please send help.
I feel bad for you. Stay in the bathroom for as long as possibly. Just keep the rotation going, wine , free bread then bathroom. Every time you are ready to go to the bathroom just be like "woooo this wine is running through me." Gives you a nice plausible excuse to constantly be in the bathroom.
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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.


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IMO I don't know jack-**** though so don't listen to me.
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You're a terrible dictionary.
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Old 12-16-2016, 08:30 PM   #41712 (permalink)
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Hide a bottle of wine in the bathroom tho.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-16-2016, 09:50 PM   #41713 (permalink)
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I made it out ok. $16 for a ****ing spring mix salad with four prawns and blue cheese crumbles and $35 dollars at the bar lol. I am so wine drunk and apparently all my bf's new coworkers adore me.
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I know what real life is, I've been living in it for well over a decade
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WWWP is pretty but should be cancelled (digital blackface)

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Old 12-16-2016, 10:20 PM   #41714 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Lol that's just because you go to fusion and prog shows. When I went to see Rush there was no line for the ladies bathroom. It was wild.
LOL. Ladies at fusion shows. Repeat after me: Classic. Rock. Attracts. Chicks.
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Old 12-16-2016, 10:21 PM   #41715 (permalink)
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I'm always drunk before dinner at banquets or reunions. It's the only way I can tolerate people.
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Old 12-16-2016, 10:28 PM   #41716 (permalink)
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I'm always drunk before dinner at banquets or reunions. It's the only way I can tolerate people.
My neighbor died on Thanksgiving, and his kids had a get together at his house for a bunch of old friends and I ended up there. Barely knew anybody, they were almost exclusively older, nobody appeared to be a minimum wage ****, so I stayed quiet as **** until the rum and cokes started to take effect. Then the night took an upturn.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-17-2016, 12:50 AM   #41717 (permalink)
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The rum and cokes started to take effect. Then the night took an upturn.
*The Story Of My Life*
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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
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and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
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Old 12-17-2016, 01:09 AM   #41718 (permalink)
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Elphe is unworthy and drunk
Don't sell yourself short. Drunk = good. And honest.
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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
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Old 12-17-2016, 01:22 AM   #41719 (permalink)
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Saw a modern indie band from Austin tonight in a bookstore that gets an Elphenor "punk as ****" stamp of approval

All female save for guitarist. Very feminist. Band had a saxophone player

I talked to the guitarist simply because I was too afraid to talk to any of the women who were just too cool too smart too beautiful

But now I feel a bit **** about just talking to guy in a feminist band when the other members were right there damn I suck


You might feel bad about this because you're a pussy but I intentionally do this because I hate feminists.
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I love how you edited your post to officially out me out of the closet?" It's like you asked yourself if you were a big enough cunt in the post, concluded that you weren't, and added it in to satisfy your postly cunt quota
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I converted to Islam today.

Allah Supreme.
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saw LeBron James downtown but then I realized I'm just racist
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Old 12-17-2016, 06:45 AM   #41720 (permalink)
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man its not too late, go back there and do your thang.
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I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
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