Go back about six pages...

I don't make eye contact with men who are outside my family circle.

Except briefly in the salon mirror, in hopes that they'll feel obligated to leave a large tip regardless of how many times I "accidentally" nick their earlobes :D

You're the one who consistently paints him as a knuckle-dragging cro-mag with more beard than brains.

No, that's you making the free association that because he's brawny and more "traditional", therefore he must lack brains.

I could brag about his being a genius (he is), but nobody here would believe it. He's much smarter than I am; if he weren't, I'd walk all over him like I did my exbf. I knew after that fiasco, I needed a confident man who didn't take my bull****.

Why are we talking about this?!

Just finished a series of phone calls to my parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles. My aunt has brain cancer... and I feel nothing... I feel like a heartless bastard. My aunt is sitting in a hospital bed dying and I feel nothing...

That's okay. Just support your family members who do care, and don't be a douche.

I don't know. That's how I felt when my brother died. Got a phone call and was kind of upset that I was woken up and went back to sleep.

Perhaps your defense mechanism to pain/worry is numbness?

It's much more normal than you think. Sometimes it's a lot to take in at once so it's kind of like your brain doesn't know how to handle it or something.

You Know, I wish this was true. But i get so emotional over such tiny things. Ugh.