you're not a pussy at all. you're in a situation most people won't be able to properly understand. i think mord might be right in some regards with his last post. i know the last thing you probably want to do is speak with her, but if you feel bad for her situation, striking up a conversation wouldn't be the worst idea possible. maybe offer her some lunch or something, i don't know, but i'm sure under these circumstances she could use the help.

By doing what? Giving her a place to stay? Give her money? My compassion? I don't think you really understand what she put me through. You don't have to deal with this because of your current situation, so its very easy to say what you say from the sidelines.

Fair enough. Easier said than done. "You must do what you think is right, of course." Compassion is a good start. Maybe if you go up to her, talk to her, ask her if you can help out with anything (within your means), that act of compassion may open the door to something.

I'm on your side Ki. LiL made her bed.

Here's a recent text message conversation between my ex and I.

her: How are you?
Me: Go **** yourself
Her: Oh come on. I want to talk. I miss you
Me: Yeah, well I miss your cunt. that's it.

I don't concern myself with her because my life is in tatters that I don't need to be rekindling the past to only realize how much I miss her.

Your life isn't in the best situation pal. Instead of thinking about her, you need to think about how you're going to get on your feet.

Just thought of something else, Ki. Moving would solve some of your immediate problems. Do you have the means to move?

I'm a big proponent of "if you don't put yourself first, nobody else will". There comes a time when you cannot afford to continue to care about the plights of the people who hurt you, because they certainly do not care about yours. It takes more emotional fortitude to "return to normal" with a person who has harmed you than can be expected of anybody. I am certainly not strong enough. If you need to cut and run, you do it.

The thing is, my compassion and "giving" is what put her in the position she's in now. I was too nice because it was my first relationship, so now I'm trying to learn to not do that for her. I know deep down I should not help her because it's time for me to move on. But it's hard when she's still able to be manipulative passively. I know where you're coming from, but if you were in my place, it'd be you saying what I'm saying. Trust me.

I shouldn't have to move, that's my point. I've lived here my whole life. She hasn't. She's told me she wanted to go home, so she rented a car. Why the hell is she back here then? For no other reason than to exist where I exist. It's ****ty.

Does LiL have your virginity?

I think the big part of this is that I know her tone. So when she texts me (somehow getting my number even though she's blocked and mine has changed) I know exactly what she wants, even if she's not saying it.

I do try to put myself forward but I was never able to do that over the past couple years so this is all new to me.