Your Day

Sequoioideae · 05-16-2015, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

I've experienced this with men I've had a major smitten feeling for (but have wanted nothing to do with me) and while you're correct, it's not nice to make a bold move with someone who's made their intentions clear.

No, this was never the case, nothing was said directly. I know I said I was 100% sure about the friend thing, it's just she was kind of head gamey telling she wanted to cuddle with me and run her fingers through my hair. I got really tripped up after that ****, and I wanted to not go through those feelings a third time with her.

fiddler · 05-16-2015, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

it isn't that they're not good enough.

sometimes a dude just doesn't meet us on a soul-level.

that's really important.

and it's not your fault, you're just a bit different from us and we don't wanna spend time on someone who we know won't fulfill us the way we need someone to.

Oh, I feel that. But to a guy when you're feelin' it for a girl, and they friend-zone, it feels like the end of the World. A lot of the time guys feel it's just not worth making that relationship work when you want so much more, but can't have it. It's like watching porn knowing you have a chastity belt on.

ladyislingering · 05-16-2015, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sequoioideae

No, this was never the case, nothing was said directly. I know I said I was 100% sure about the friend thing, it's just she was kind of head gamey telling she wanted to cuddle with me and run her fingers through my hair. I got really tripped up after that ****, and I wanted to not go through those feelings a third time with her.

awww hunni, she's just projecting on ya.

there's someone else she's got in mind but you're giving her the necessary attention she wants from her object of affection.

I think she's quite nuts to not see the value in you but my standards are obviously different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiddler

Oh, I feel that. But to a guy when you're feelin' it for a girl, and they friend-zone, it feels like the end of the World. A lot of the time guys feel it's just not worth making that relationship work when you want so much more, but can't have it. It's like watching porn knowing you have a chastity belt on.

The best thing you can do is respect the girl. You need to respect her based on her standards or she'll never trust you.

fiddler · 05-16-2015, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

awww hunni, she's just projecting on ya.

there's someone else she's got in mind but you're giving her the necessary attention she wants from her object of affection.

I think she's quite nuts to not see the value in you but my standards are obviously different.

The best thing you can do is respect the girl. You need to respect her based on her standards or she'll never trust you.

Always, that goes without saying. You should always respect everyone. Trust me, I'm old enough and had enough dates to know that!

ladyislingering · 05-16-2015, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiddler

Always, that goes without saying. You should always respect everyone. Trust me, I'm old enough and had enough dates to know that!

Same!

Consent is necessary in any situation, whether expressing your feelings physically or through text.

The important part is knowing the intentions and limitations of your object of affection, AND respecting those conditions.

fiddler · 05-16-2015, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

Same!

Consent is necessary in any situation, whether expressing your feelings physically or through text.

The important part is knowing the intentions and limitations of your object of affection, AND respecting those conditions.

Exactly. "Consent" goes for everything from hanging out with someone, getting romantically involved with someone, to searching someone's car. Glad we agree!

Urban Hat€monger ? · 05-16-2015, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sequoioideae

No, this was never the case, nothing was said directly. I know I said I was 100% sure about the friend thing, it's just she was kind of head gamey telling she wanted to cuddle with me and run her fingers through my hair. I got really tripped up after that ****, and I wanted to not go through those feelings a third time with her.

If that's the kind of stuff she's saying to guys who are just her 'friends' I say you've had a lucky escape and should be thankful.

The Batlord · 05-16-2015, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

awww hunni, she's just projecting on ya.

there's someone else she's got in mind but you're giving her the necessary attention she wants from her object of affection.

See, this is the problem with the friendzone. The guy is making himself miserable by not-quite-pursuing a girl he perceives as beyond his reach, just cause he's too scared to actually put himself out there for anyone, and the girl is using him for one-sided emotional fulfillment.

fiddler · 05-16-2015, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

If that's the kind of stuff she's saying to guys who are just her 'friends' I say you've had a lucky escape and should be thankful.

Yeah, you do have a point there.

ladyislingering · 05-16-2015, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiddler

Exactly. "Consent" goes for everything from hanging out with someone, getting romantically involved with someone, to searching someone's car. Glad we agree!

Love you to bits on this post alone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

See, this is the problem with the friendzone. The guy is making himself miserable by not-quite-pursuing a girl he perceives as beyond his reach, just cause he's too scared to actually put himself out there for anyone, and the girl is using him for one-sided emotional fulfillment.

The thing is, if you really care for her wellbeing, you care that you're influencing her happiness by being her friend. Maybe she'll share your feelings someday but for now she just really needs a friend. And that's ok.