Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1590355)

I've experienced this with men I've had a major smitten feeling for (but have wanted nothing to do with me) and while you're correct, it's not nice to make a bold move with someone who's made their intentions clear.

Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1590360)

it isn't that they're not good enough.

sometimes a dude just doesn't meet us on a soul-level.

that's really important.

and it's not your fault, you're just a bit different from us and we don't wanna spend time on someone who we know won't fulfill us the way we need someone to.

Originally Posted by Sequoioideae (Post 1590364)

No, this was never the case, nothing was said directly. I know I said I was 100% sure about the friend thing, it's just she was kind of head gamey telling she wanted to cuddle with me and run her fingers through my hair. I got really tripped up after that ****, and I wanted to not go through those feelings a third time with her.

Originally Posted by fiddler (Post 1590365)

Oh, I feel that. But to a guy when you're feelin' it for a girl, and they friend-zone, it feels like the end of the World. A lot of the time guys feel it's just not worth making that relationship work when you want so much more, but can't have it. It's like watching porn knowing you have a chastity belt on.

Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1590366)

awww hunni, she's just projecting on ya.

there's someone else she's got in mind but you're giving her the necessary attention she wants from her object of affection.

I think she's quite nuts to not see the value in you but my standards are obviously different.



The best thing you can do is respect the girl. You need to respect her based on her standards or she'll never trust you.

Originally Posted by fiddler (Post 1590367)

Always, that goes without saying. You should always respect everyone. Trust me, I'm old enough and had enough dates to know that!

Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1590370)

Same!

Consent is necessary in any situation, whether expressing your feelings physically or through text.

The important part is knowing the intentions and limitations of your object of affection, AND respecting those conditions.

Originally Posted by Sequoioideae (Post 1590364)

No, this was never the case, nothing was said directly. I know I said I was 100% sure about the friend thing, it's just she was kind of head gamey telling she wanted to cuddle with me and run her fingers through my hair. I got really tripped up after that ****, and I wanted to not go through those feelings a third time with her.

Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1590366)

awww hunni, she's just projecting on ya.

there's someone else she's got in mind but you're giving her the necessary attention she wants from her object of affection.

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ? (Post 1590373)

If that's the kind of stuff she's saying to guys who are just her 'friends' I say you've had a lucky escape and should be thankful.

Originally Posted by fiddler (Post 1590372)

Exactly. "Consent" goes for everything from hanging out with someone, getting romantically involved with someone, to searching someone's car. Glad we agree!

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1590374)

See, this is the problem with the friendzone. The guy is making himself miserable by not-quite-pursuing a girl he perceives as beyond his reach, just cause he's too scared to actually put himself out there for anyone, and the girl is using him for one-sided emotional fulfillment.