Woke up with a hangover
Cooked up a tortilla
Midway through preparing the tortilla i had to run to the bathroom
Ate a burnt tortilla

That's my day so far.

Okay, so it rained so hard last night, my ****ing window started leaking. I've never seen it do that before. Thor was indeed pissed.

But what happened in the bathroom? The suspense is killing me.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-conte.../02/poopin.gif

i contemplated about my life and how im drinking too much lately..

Ahh. The classic contemplation poop.

Yup, but then my tortilla burned..

Writing a guide for Bell Labs on how to remotely configure a remote server computer to configure a cellular system in a remote location... wat.

the worst thing is when you're totally wasted, but you don't realize it til you're going to the bathroom and you start having an existential crisis while you're taking a piss.

Does everyone do this? my God

Usually if it's cold outside and I'm walking home from a party or something like that, I usually don't notice just how schwasted I am until I get inside where it's a bit warmer. Most of the time the walk jimmies up my digestive system so I usually find out this fact as I'm emptying out my waste bin in the restroom.