Tonight he jumped into his water bowl and spilled it everywhere.

Twice.

Within an hour.

Over the years I've learned that the idea that cats are smart is bull****. When they act aloof and have that little "kitty attitude", it makes them seem smart in a kind of mysterious way. It's a lie though. Cats are dumb as ****.

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time just saying "aww, who's my retarded little baby? Are you a tard? Aww, tardy kitty!" and just babbling at him about how stupid he is.

He has no idea.

I'm a terrible mother.

I do the same thing. Just about every animal I've ever had probably answers to "Stupid" or "Dummy" just as readily as to their own name. I have one cat who for the longest time I'd refer to as "Big Fat Stupid Cat".

Yes. Cat logic observed today: The sound of an empty plastic bottle half falling over is terrifying and worth fleeing the room over, but positioning yourself so that the lumbering hairless giants that you live with nearly step on you is a perfectly fine idea and not frightening at all.

Stupidest thing I've ever caught my cat doing is trying to put a live mouse in its food bowl and becoming increasingly frustrated every time the mouse jumped out. Second stupidest is attempted to jump off the table while standing on a cloth.

This week was the first time in my life that I've had a "normal person job." Waking up early, getting off at 5, etc etc. and today I slept in two hours to start what will be my first "normal person weekend." It's been so long since I was free on a weekend I don't know what to do with myself.

Normal person jobs are the best

Thank you for that. He was an incredible artist, and it was a sudden shock to everybody to hear of his passing since he was so young (well, early 50's is still pretty young). He was jamming with his bro, then 2am his heart went. The funeral and services were packed, standing room only. He made a lot music, gave hundreds if not thousands of tats, and had a huge family of friends. His bro has since offered up one of his guitars to me, which I gladly accepted, a Carvin DC127.

Paying for an apprenticeship is fairly normal, but that price is a bit steep.

So uh yeah where do I start this hot-mess of a day.

1. GPA (that I worked so ****in hard at having) in the ****ter because I had to take a ****ty online **** speech class and for some reason the ****ty blackboard wouldn't upload my paper. Oh yeah I've been trying since Thursday.

2. Spotify overcharged my bank account by 90 bones. And have no number for me to call and yell angry black woman **** in their ears.

3. Veterns Day is not a day banks should have off. Can't stop the *******s at Spotify even if I wanted to.

4. Some ******* at work built this 6 ft display and didn't attach it properly and it came crashing down with 500 lbs of product of on it, after my boss and I put the bitch on wheels and moved it. It crashed into my ****in leg which now has a ****in bruise the size of Montana on it, and hurts like I got beat with a lead pipe. It didn't really bother me till I got home. I was fine at work. Awesome.

I knew I should have stayed in bed today and tried to ****in eat my feelings, not shower, and listen to Elliot Smith records and like cry or something. But noooooo gotta be responsible n ****....

Thanks a ****in heap life.You really suck hairy goat testicles some****intimes...