Met with my GM and HR lady and it turns out he told them about his condition upon hire, and I'm one of the last to know. I'm left to basically document everything he's ever done and every mistake he's made so that if I do end up letting him go my bases are covered as he's in a "protected class."

Seriously the dude makes $9/hr and we're an independent bookstore. I ****ing hate jumping through hoops.

Anyone need a live-in tutor or something? Get me out of here.

Sure. But don't expect to get paid or anything.

Hope you like the bible and Babylonian mythology.

Bitchin'. I need to learn more about all that **** Morbid Angel keeps putting in their albums. The Babylonian mythology, not the Bible.

You have to promise to never talk to me though.

You took the words right out of my mouth...appropriately enough. I guess I'll just put a tie on my door if I'm jerking off then.

Might as well have a tie for a doorknob then.

Well, I'll probably either forget to take it off or forget to put it back on, so it's probably just best if she avoids my room. We'll just have to bang on my couch.

Ewwwwwwwwweweweweweweweweew

If I had a nickel for every time a girl said that to me I'd be able to get a hooker.