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someonecompletelyrandom 08-24-2011 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger (Post 1098276)
I think I've accidentally triggered the feelings of lust in this alcoholic old woman I work with.

It's lunchtime and I'm stressed out & desperate for a cigarette but I don't have any. So I see this woman lighting one up so I go up to her, put my arm around her and give her my best smile. She smiles back and gives me one so I give her a little hug & walk off to have my cigarette.

Later on just before I'm about to go on my afternoon tea break I go to my desk & find a cigarette sitting there. I look up & this woman is standing there with a big smile on her face.

I decided against hugging her that time and just thanked her nicely.

Just watch that she doesn't drop her bloomers when everyone else leaves the office.

Mykonos 08-25-2011 03:56 AM

Got my GCSE results:

Maths A*
Science A*
Additional Science A
English Lit. A
English Lang. A
History A
Religious Studies A
Design Tech B
Information Tech B
Media Studies B
French C

So I passed the ones I care about and failed the ones I hated and knew I was going to fail in anyway. No surprises.

(For those of you not in the UK, GCSEs are the last thing you do in compulsory education, and according to some people the most important thing you'll ever do in your life. They're wrong, but they are pretty important exams.)

Howard the Duck 08-25-2011 03:57 AM

had a pretty severe vertigo attack just now and took sick leave

GeddyBass2112 08-25-2011 11:10 AM

I'm really feeling kinda sexual for no reason. Need to hump something.

NSW 08-25-2011 05:06 PM

So, a friend of mine gave me a free pass to get a manicure at an expensive spa near downtown. I decided to give it a whirl today. I get there and everyone is nice, place is clean. I sit down in one of those fancy spa massage chairs and start soaking my feet in the tub at the base of the chair. All's well with the world. The, the jet under the water starts to rotate, unbeknownst to me, and it turns out the water level in the tub is too low, because the jet rotates above the water level and starts spraying my legs, the chair, my blouse, the other chair. Seriously, the most unruly spa jet I've ever encountered. And the nail lady is off getting something, so I'm sitting there by myself struggling to keep the spa jet from rotating with my feet until she gets back. She finally gets back and apologizes profusely, cleans up all the water, gives me a towel to dry off, and starts doing the nails. Cuts the cuticle down too low on my left thumb and it starts bleeding everywhere. She puts stuff on it to make it stop, and all is well again. Until she starts rubbing salt in the wound....literally. She rubs my hands with sea salt and rubs it right into my wounded thumb. Hurt like hell, but I managed to remain calm still. Next, she puts some stuff on my feet, callus remover I guess, and gets some on top of my big toe. It starts burning, but from where I'm sitting it doesn't look like anything is wrong so I just grin and bear it. Turns out that **** burned a hole right into my toe.

So I left with a bleeding thumb, and holey toe, and wet clothes, with the small consolation being that she actually did a really good job on the polishing part of the deal. It was the most harrowing spa experience of my life...not that I go that often or anything, but it was the exact opposite of how a spa experience is supposed to be. Pretty sure I won't be going back there, and I don't have the heart to tell my friend who gave me the spa pass about it.

FETCHER. 08-25-2011 05:40 PM

That sounds like something that could potentially happen to me. :(

On another note, I fell asleep at around half 6 and woke up at roughly half 9. I'm dayshift tomorrow so I'm going to be ****ing shattered. When I woke up I'd missed dinner so I went to mcds with a friend, it was good since I hadn't seen much of her since Cancun. Went to drop her off at her house and turned my engine off. Perhaps an hour later I tried to turn it on and it would go, so I tried again. Still nothing. Called a friend who's very good with cars and noticed I had an oil leak so I bought in my asking words 'the cheapest oil' sixteen ****ing quid later for a litre of oil I went back to Meg. Filled her up and she still wouldn't budge. Went through a series of possible causes being that my starter may be ****ed. Bump started her, she went. Yass! So I stopped on a steep hill to see if the starter was ****ed and if so, I could start again to go home. She started. ****ing temperamental cow. I went through so many negative emotions thinking I'd have to replace the old bird and in the end she was merely being a cuunt. Need to get that oil leak checked out tomorrow though... More money. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Howard the Duck 08-25-2011 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeddyBass2112 (Post 1098458)
I'm really feeling kinda sexual for no reason. Need to hump something.

me 2 - i feel like getting it on with my chambering pupil - she looks jealous if i flirt with other staff

Janszoon 08-25-2011 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonsubmissivewife (Post 1098541)
So, a friend of mine gave me a free pass to get a manicure at an expensive spa near downtown. I decided to give it a whirl today. I get there and everyone is nice, place is clean. I sit down in one of those fancy spa massage chairs and start soaking my feet in the tub at the base of the chair. All's well with the world. The, the jet under the water starts to rotate, unbeknownst to me, and it turns out the water level in the tub is too low, because the jet rotates above the water level and starts spraying my legs, the chair, my blouse, the other chair. Seriously, the most unruly spa jet I've ever encountered. And the nail lady is off getting something, so I'm sitting there by myself struggling to keep the spa jet from rotating with my feet until she gets back. She finally gets back and apologizes profusely, cleans up all the water, gives me a towel to dry off, and starts doing the nails. Cuts the cuticle down too low on my left thumb and it starts bleeding everywhere. She puts stuff on it to make it stop, and all is well again. Until she starts rubbing salt in the wound....literally. She rubs my hands with sea salt and rubs it right into my wounded thumb. Hurt like hell, but I managed to remain calm still. Next, she puts some stuff on my feet, callus remover I guess, and gets some on top of my big toe. It starts burning, but from where I'm sitting it doesn't look like anything is wrong so I just grin and bear it. Turns out that **** burned a hole right into my toe.

So I left with a bleeding thumb, and holey toe, and wet clothes, with the small consolation being that she actually did a really good job on the polishing part of the deal. It was the most harrowing spa experience of my life...not that I go that often or anything, but it was the exact opposite of how a spa experience is supposed to be. Pretty sure I won't be going back there, and I don't have the heart to tell my friend who gave me the spa pass about it.

I'm sure it was really annoying when it was happening, but that was pretty hilarious to read. It was like a scene from some slapstick comedy.

Buzzov*en 08-25-2011 09:48 PM

getting ready for this hurricane that is supposed to be hitting in two days.

Farfisa 08-25-2011 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buzzov*en (Post 1098568)
getting ready for this hurricane that is supposed to be hitting in two days.

Because my basement needs to be flooded again.


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