Possibly one of the worst days of my life so far. I've been away from this site for some time and in this time I've finally admitted to myself that I want to be male. I'm not just bisexual, I'm transsexual.

So the problem for me is finding some way to tell my (somewhat homophobic and conservative) family about my decision to try and go for some sort of therapy and if I decide, full gender reassignment.

Today I found the courage to tell the most liberal person in my family, my mom. Total disaster that was. She seemed to get REALLY angry and a LOT of shouting occured. I'm now scared and miserable.

Do you have any close friends that might be supportive? Also, are you living at home with them, your family?

I'm worried that my friends, who are mostly very religious Christians, will likely disown me. And my dump of a town has close to little no LGBT support. Even my doctor, who've I've spoken with about this, seems dismissive and unhelpful.

And yes, I live with family. I have nowhere else to go. :crying:

They most likely will disown you. You have to decide if want to have friends that are not accepting of others lifestyles or stay in the closet about it and remain friends with them until they find out on their own one day.

As far as the living situation, thats rough and I have no idea what I would do in your shoes

TBH I could very well be merely making a lot of assumptions. Most of my friends are intelligent university graduates with a lot of brains and common sense between them, so I'm willing to bet that at least some of them can see that I'm still me, still a friend.

I've got three choices:

- Go to the local council and plead my case for getting social housing. Major problem with this is that a) nothing has actually happened to me as to create any sort of danger or volatile situation and b) chances are that without this, it'll be ages before I'll be offered any housing, and I can be pretty certain that it'll be a tiny bedsit in the middle of a crap estate somewhere.

- Assuming that my mom, who lives seperately from me (I live with grandparents) is more accepting of the situation, I could possibly temporarily stay with her. But this isn't an ideal situation and I don't know how, when she finds out, what the reaction is going to be.

- Put up and shut up until I can afford a place of my own and aren't reliant on my family as much. This isn't going to be anytime soon I think...and I don't think I can take it much longer.

:jailed:<----- I feel like this.

havent beeen on here in hella days
this Song made my day

not a good day

just stay true to yourself

I plan to do so. I'm sick and tired of playing pretend. I want to be male. Hell, in my own head I AM male.

Eh, I'm going to have a little rant today. Thanks to my wonderful Gov's cuts, the place I volunteer at has lost funding and so is shutting in less than a week. Thanks to these same cuts, the chances of me finding a new volunteer placement is close to nil because the volunteer placement centre you have to use for these placements has also been forced to close down large sections of its activities, including specialist volunteer placement.

So today I went shopping and got:

Some new shirts
Some new trainers
A new bag for school
A couple of new albums that I've wanted for ages (Play by Moby and Cross by Justice if you care)

It also represents a turning point for me, as using the excuse of 'it's for wearing in school' I've finally managed to buy some vaguely nice clothes without being ridiculed by my family.