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View Poll Results: Which is your favorite?
Not There 1 10.00%
In the Cold, Cold Night 0 0%
Slow Burn 3 30.00%
Ghosts Aren't Real, But Other Things Are 5 50.00%
Unseeing Eye 1 10.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-01-2015, 06:14 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Damn it, Lis. It's fine to tell everyone you wrote a story, but you're not supposed to say which one until after the voting. >.>
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:16 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I wrote one of these.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:17 PM   #23 (permalink)
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God damn it. Total anarchy. This is what happens when parents let their kids listen to Captain Beefheart.

Edit: Nice edit, you ninja mod.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:24 PM   #24 (permalink)
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lool whateverrr
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:30 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Now I miss WhateverDude.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:39 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Looks like Ori has discovered the other problem with getting people involved in a writing competition: getting everyone to actually read the stories.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:49 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Not There - unnecessarily chewy. I liked your concept, but it was hard to get a grip on exactly what was happening at times.

In the Cold, Cold Night - I liked this one. The ending could have been drawn out a little bit more imo. I like the nonlinear style you use. I think this piece could be expanded even more to make something really special. The stream of consciousness style works very well in the piece, but I wanted the narrator to feel more. It's too distant of a character to make me care.

Slow Burn - The one I voted for. Well executed twist.

Ghosts Aren't Real, But Other Things Are - This is the one that I enjoyed reading the most, but bringing in the monster (while I do grasp the symbolic nature of it) was too much of a non-sequitor for the story and kind of ruined it for me. I think if you made it a horror story by going more into the internal conflict of the main character and making her guilt and her relationship the "monster" of the story, it could be an incredibly strong piece.

Unseeing Eye - What a pretentious piece of ****.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:54 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Not There - unnecessarily chewy. I liked your concept, but it was hard to get a grip on exactly what was happening at times.
I like that one, it's really abstract. I mentioned to the author that I thought it was about making bread (the dust is flour, which is rolled into dough, and then made into a loaf/cylinder, which is then sliced). You know, in a very avant garde way of describing it. Turns out I was wrong, but hey, it was a fun interpretation.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:56 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriphiel View Post
I like that one, it's really abstract. I mentioned to the author that I thought it was about making bread (the dust is flour, which is rolled into dough, and then made into a loaf/cylinder, which is then sliced). You know, in a very avant garde way of describing it. Turns out I was wrong, but hey, it was a fun interpretation.
It did have a good concept, but the lofty language made that concept less effective. I know how to recognize this because I do it in my writing as well.
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Old 11-01-2015, 07:01 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Maybe. Anyway, I voted for Slow Burn as well. Speaking of which, hey Lis, you never answered Pet_Sounds when he asked if the references were intentional! The world has to know!
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