I was on the "maker" of a bad date. we were at a baseball game and she was eating a hotdog or sausage or something and then she just started choking. and I uh didn't really do anything. kinda just looked at her panicking and trying to get someone else to help. like fuck I don't know how to do the heimlech so what was I gonna do. well she eventually puked or spit it out on the ground but god damn I will never forget her face during that ordeal. just a plea for help that never came.

we were able to joke about it later but ya was pretty shitty

This was when I was a virgin still and didn't return oral favors. Got to the dudes house for a nightcap, some hangout and noms... Kissed... Brought up the fact I was a virgin, which I honestly thought he knew already because we were part of the same crowd and it was common knowledge. He said he didn't but its cool, I told him he could go below although I wouldn't. He asked what he'd get out of it and I was just flabbergasted he didn't appreciate the honor of simply seeing me naked. Long story short left after less than an hour because he said he was tired.

I'll always somewhat admire the dude for that. A lot of guys just pleasured me 'for free'.

Take it from me, she did not. We had already had that conversation and she made it quite plain she was not interested in me romantically or sexually. Even if she had been hinting subtly, I would not at the time have done anything to endanger what I saw at the time as our "friendship", but which I saw later was just her using me. I know it sounds like you say, but believe me, had I even tried anything she would have screamed bloody murder and that would have been the end of everything for us. Not that there was anything really, when I look back on it now.

I take offence at this sentence.
http://www.qrpfoxhunt.org/fox_hunt_logo.jpg
As do I
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...leaner.svg.png
Me too (anyone who gets this is as old as I am!)
http://www.gadgetshowprizes.co.uk/wp...Corvette-4.jpg

So we're talking nine-ten years old?

Who? Girl I liked at the time in like 8th grade. This was my first date.
What? She wanted to see a movie. I was 13. It wasn't like I could get a Motel 6 and set up a pound palace or something. We settled on...get this...What Women Want. Turns out that she had also invited six of her friends, who were also 13 year old girls. That should be awesome right? No. It wasn't. Turns out they all thought I was gay and kept nudging my shoulders and laughing in a "don't we girls ALL think alike?" I kept having to just nervously laugh and play like I knew what they were talking about. I told my original date that I wished it was just me and her cause I liked her. She gave me a surprise face as if she had no idea I didn't like men. She apologized and I told every one of my friends the next day that I went out a date with 6 girls from class. I was pretty cool for doing so. That lie died down after a while.

I didn't date for a while after that.

:bonkhead:

There's so much material here that I would be doing comedy a disservice by picking any one thing to mock.

I know you're being batty but pretty sure I've mentioned that I didn't lose my 'technical' v-card till I was 21 or 22. To the man I'm still with. Morals, sucka.

Gave me plenty of years to master foreplay though.