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Old 01-28-2015, 03:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I need something to cheer me up. Post a snippet of a conversation you've head recently that made you chuckle.

I saw a father shopping at the grocery store yesterday. He was pushing his (approximately) five-year-old son around in the cart. As I walked by, he held up a bottle and said to his son, "…hot sauce--the cornerstone of any good taco…"
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Old 01-28-2015, 04:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't have any talk snippets but Budweiser has released their new annual commercial for the upcoming Super Bowl and it's great.

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Old 01-28-2015, 04:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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"...You've never tried it with a pickle? OH MY GOD..."
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I didn't hear any interesting bits of conversation today but I did find this news story rather amusing...


Mobster turned motivational speaker: John Gotti's crew leader now hopes to make a living giving talks to children about bullying | Daily Mail Online


Quote:
On his website he offers himself as a speaker, seeking to cash in on an activity that has already proved fruitful for him: talking.

'John offers all ages and groups a forceful message and precise tutorial on simply, how not to be a victim,' the site states.

The website states: 'Over the course of a twenty-five-year career as a gangster he brutalized people, stabbing them, shooting them, beating them with clubs, blackjacks and baseball bats. He's not proud of that, but he doesn't try to hide from it either. It's who he was.

In an interview with The Tampa Bay Times, he says: 'I feel guilty for almost all these things I did,' he said, 'except [drug dealer] John Gebert. I'd like to wake him up and kill him again. Unfortunately, I'm not past it.'
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I would have asked that guy if the kid was on special offer...
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.
That's bound to cheer up PS
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

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Old 01-28-2015, 07:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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can't think of any conservation snippets off the top of my head. but i do have a random story to share which might help cheer you up. i know it always brings a smile to my face.

it was in a pet store. the owner was showing off, holding this giant snake. and out of nowhere the snake started spewing what appeared to be diarrhea all over the place. it was flailing around as the guy tried to aim the **** away from himself, spraying liquid **** all over his store. it looked a bit like this:

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Old 01-28-2015, 07:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Are they ****ing around or are they seriously trying to pin down a house withouth turning it off first?
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Old 01-28-2015, 08:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This has turned into the "I didn't hear any conversation, but…" thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psy-Fi View Post
I didn't hear any interesting bits of conversation today but I did find this news story rather amusing...


Mobster turned motivational speaker: John Gotti's crew leader now hopes to make a living giving talks to children about bullying | Daily Mail Online
"I'd like to wake him up and kill him again…"

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.
It might be for the purpose of practice--I used to have a similar thing with a baseball.

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth View Post
can't think of any conservation snippets off the top of my head. but i do have a random story to share which might help cheer you up. i know it always brings a smile to my face.

it was in a pet store. the owner was showing off, holding this giant snake. and out of nowhere the snake started spewing what appeared to be diarrhea all over the place. it was flailing around as the guy tried to aim the **** away from himself, spraying liquid **** all over his store. it looked a bit like this:
Having worked in a pet store, I can appreciate that!

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Originally Posted by JennyOndioline View Post
"...You've never tried it with a pickle? OH MY GOD..."
The possibilities are endless.

Heard a couple of old gents in church back around Christmas:

"…yeah, he burned down the ice house in back of Fred's place…"
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