Wanna Stop Smoking? Here's How.

Oriphiel · 01-23-2015, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

You like to take words and twist them to suit your argument. Your still not getting the intention behind my words. You should try asking questions instead of inserting your own interpretation of peoples words on them.

Lemme ask you this. How much experience do you actually have with addicts? You look young, I assume not much.

How am I twisting words? When you said that the way to quit smoking was simply to "actually want to stop, and don't just say you do", it's the equivalent of walking up to someone struggling to lift a massive weight and saying "dude, just try harder. If you really want to lift that weight, just push as hard as you can." You're just telling them what they already know, and putting them down at the same time. And yes, I've had experience with dependency and addiction before. There's a reason that I don't smoke, drink, or take recreational drugs.

DwnWthVwls · 01-23-2015, 11:15 AM

Not really. It's the equivalent of the person trying to lift the weight who keeps on lifting and gradually getting better because they were focused on one day achieving their goal.

Oriphiel · 01-23-2015, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

Not really. It's the equivalent of the person trying to lift the weight who keeps on lifting and gradually getting better because they were focused on one day achieving their goal.

But your advice isn't encouraging them to keep at it. You're giving them the impression that failure is synonymous with being "fake", or only pretending to try to quit. It's encouraging them to either be able to do it on the first go, or to just give up and stop wasting our time because they never really meant to lift the weight in the first place. And that's a horrible message to send.

DwnWthVwls · 01-23-2015, 11:24 AM

I wasn't giving advice. I was explaining the mindstate you have to be in to stop. I've already stated in many threads that I don't personally invest time in addicts, and I think they should take it upon themselves to get better. You think I don't understand that positive reinforcement is better than bearing over someone telling them how much of a failure they are? I've dealt with more than a couple handfuls of drug addicts in my 29 years and lost more than I'd like to admit along the way. If any of them ever had a problem and wanted to talk I'd listen and give advice but I don't go out of my way to "fix" people.

The bottom line is that unless an addict WANTS to quit they never will. All your positive reinforcement study nonsense doesn't mean a thing if they enjoy doing drugs and just tell you they want to stop to get you off their back long enough to get a few more highs.

Oriphiel · 01-23-2015, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

I wasn't giving advice. I was explaining the mindstate you have to be in to stop. I've already stated in many threads that I don't personally invest time in addicts, and I think they should take it upon themselves to get better. You think I don't understand that positive reinforcement is better than bearing over someone telling them how much of a failure they are?

The bottom line is that unless an addict WANTS to quit they never will. All your positive reinforcement study nonsense doesn't mean a thing if they enjoy doing drugs and just tell you they want to stop to get you off their back long enough to get a few more highs.

I've got unsettling news for you; no addict wants to quit. That's actually the entire premise of being addicted. You can't stop, and you don't want to stop. You know that you're destroying yourself, and you learn to hate what you're becoming, but in a strange way you enjoy it beyond anything else. Breaking out of the cycle is not about "willpower", because quite frankly your level of willpower is entirely dependent on your mind, which is constantly screaming at you to just give in and take another hit. Eventually you regain the ability to control yourself and your urges, but the initial break-out of the cycle is dependent almost solely on positive reinforcement from the people around you (people who, honestly, have every right to have just given up on you). Beating an addiction is simply a matter of persistence, support and (sadly) luck, and has absolutely nothing to do with sincerity.

But I can see why you've chosen your point of view. It's very convenient to simply make an addict responsible for cleaning up their own act, and you have every right to expect them to take care of themselves. But when they drop the weight, maybe instead of calling them a faker and walking away, you should try helping them lift it until they can lift it on their own.

DwnWthVwls · 01-23-2015, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

I've got unsettling news for you; no addict wants to quit.

Well you just made it clear that you know nothing about addicts. Not much else to say here.

And I've taken that stance because we only live once and I'm not gonna waste my life fixing your screw ups. It's not a matter of convenience, it's a matter of selfishness. Pretty much the same reason I don't wanna waste 20+ years raising a child.

I also don't have a problem with drug addicts who don't f*ck society. If you wanna shoot heroin and die at 20 I'm okay with that, but don't go stealing and harming people for your fix. Your body your decision. It's not for me but you made the decision to do that drug, so take some responsibility for it.

Oriphiel · 01-23-2015, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

Well you just made it clear that you know nothing about addicts. Not much else to say here.

Why? Because I said that "no addict wants to quit"? That's pretty much the definition of "addiction"; you are no longer able to choose how you want to live your life. Even when you come to the realization that your addiction is killing you and harming everyone around you, and you start to take steps to break the habit, you still want to keep on destroying yourself. God, you want it more than anything. Breaking addiction is about overriding what you want, because you will always (and believe me, I do mean always) want to just take a hit and give up on yourself. It's about finding how to live on your own once again, which is the last thing that your body/mind wants because it feels like you're dying every second of the day that you're sober.

So please, don't try to tell me what I know about addiction. Not only is that dipping into personal territory, but it's incredibly insulting as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

And I've taken that stance because we only live once and I'm not gonna waste my life fixing your screw ups. It's not a matter of convenience, it's a matter of selfishness. Pretty much the same reason I don't wanna waste 20+ years raising a child.

Raising a child is not "wasting time". In fact, doing anything that you legitimately care about is never time wasted. And i'm glad that your parents didn't share your point of view, or else they'd have never taken the time to raise you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

I also don't have a problem with drug addicts who don't f*ck society. If you wanna shoot heroin and die at 20 I'm okay with that, but don't go stealing and harming people for your fix. Your body your decision. It's not for me but you made the decision to do that drug, so take some responsibility for it.

How can you condone use of hard drugs while simultaneously condemning violent junkies? If you take the smooth, you have to take the rough.

DwnWthVwls · 01-23-2015, 12:14 PM

Just because you fail at something doesn't mean you don't want to be better or stop doing it. You may want to keep on using but when your desire to get better becomes greater than your desire to use drugs, I'd consider that wanting to quit.

Do you feel the desire to nitpick everything? I thought it was pretty clear I was talking about myself, obviously child raising is essential for survival and not a waste of time for everyone.

Simple. I believe it's your body and you have the right to do with it whatever you want, and you have the right to allow anyone else do anything to it that you consent to. I don't see why I can't believe that and not call out the bad people. I know two high functioning heroin addicts that go to work ****ed up everyday get a paycheck and spend it on dope. They don't rob or hurt people. If you can't use drugs responsibly than you should be held accountable. I condone alcohol consumption but I think drunk drivers deserve to be punished. I really don't see a problem.

Chula Vista · 01-23-2015, 12:41 PM

Dudes, step outside and have a slap fest. You both have the best of intentions and are arguing over drawn out semantics. Getting back to the OP. Any smoker willing to try it?

DwnWthVwls · 01-23-2015, 12:46 PM

Why don't you chime in on the topic?

Sorry for the derail.

and sorry, I don't smoke enough to do that nor do I want to quit my small intake.

01-23-2015, 12:41 PM	#29 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Dudes, step outside and have a slap fest. You both have the best of intentions and are arguing over drawn out semantics. Getting back to the OP. Any smoker willing to try it? __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”