Legendary Threads and Forum Events

[Zer0]

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

That's not photoshopped and neither is this one.

It takes some skill to play a sold-out San Siro in Milan with a set of bongos and no guitar strap.

[James]

Originally Posted by Vanilla

Who has a link to the band teacher thread?

This. The bandteacher1 saga is one of the most perplexing and fascinating things that's ever happened on here.

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

Originally Posted by Vanilla

Who has a link to the band teacher thread?

There isn't one.
It all happened in the shoutbox and via PMs

The most you'll find on the forum is this.
http://www.musicbanter.com/introduct...tml#post833880

[James]

http://www.musicbanter.com/games-lis...boo-speak.html
This is a great thread but all of the best pictures seem to have been deleted. Also the chat about everybody thinking booboo is female is poignant as I'm pretty sure he is now transitioning to female?

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by James

http://www.musicbanter.com/games-lis...boo-speak.html
This is a great thread but all of the best pictures seem to have been deleted. Also the chat about everybody thinking booboo is female is poignant as I'm pretty sure he is now transitioning to female?

I remember discovering that thread back when all the pics were still up. Was definitely epic. Now less so.

[Oriphiel]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Apparently, as of 2013, GW Williams (aka RockGuitar101) has his own legitimate website now.

GW Williams Acoustic Music Ministry

Good thing he copyrighted that picture, or else everyone would have gone around claiming it was theirs!

[The Batlord]

Well, I've finally gone and collected all of Flyingpig's posts about Cheryl and Derek. I'm putting Derek's stuff in its own posts, since Flyingpig only starts talking about him later and less frequently than Cheryl. Enjoy...

Cheryl Part 1

Spoiler for Cray cray!:

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Thanks. I'm from oop North as someone else has said. I know my posts are a bit garbled but that's 'cause my brains a bit garbled and I can't be arsed trying to ungarble them.

A/w following on from the guy i posted about earlier...I woke up this morning went to the toilet that we all have to share who live in the bedsits in this house and found a cop stood in the hallway looking a bit lost. He asked me which room I was in and after resisting the temptation to say well the one I've just come out of you thick twat I said Flat 6! The guy across the landing has been the sourse of some trouble over the past day or so but I was surprised the cops got involved 'cause all that's happend is somone's smashed a window in the front door.

Also today has been somewhat momentos! I've finally got over my 4 yrs. long obsession with Helen by realising I've fallen for somone else! I'd met her on 2 seperate occaisons...once when I was drunk and offered to **** her for all the loose change I had in my pocket about £2.50 and once when she was in a heroin induced coma slumped against a signpost when I tried to reviver her, calling her Sue...cause she had Sue tatooed on her hand (she's actually called Cheryl) while one of these Civilian warden type people stood by telling me that he'd rung the cops and they'd said they weren't going to come, presumably 'cause they'd got fed up of having to do it, and the ambulance people were likewise refusing to come although that Civil Warden guy or w/e he is said he'd try them again and then tonight I met her again and we walked into town togheter. I told her I was sorry I'd offered to **** her for £2.50 when I'd first met her...she's on the game btw and had approached me to 'do buisness' and then I told her I'd found her slumped against a signpost a few days later to which she said she had epilepsy which is obvioulsy a lie then I said i was just glad to see her alive and well 'cause I was worried about her. Then we shook hands and introduced ourselves and she invited me to a party and told me she wanted my # which I didn't give her although now I wish i had, and I bought her some chips and kebab meat then she told me she wanted to know which pub i was going to to watch the match in so she come and give me a fiver after she'd ****ed a few punters, she didn't actually use those words or anything like it but that's what she meant, so I told her the pub then we hugged and I left her in the kebab shop.
n.b-The pub I thought would have the match on didn't so i had to go to another so I don't know if she went to it or not...i thought about just going back and waiting but I've not fallen for her so much that I'd walk out of a Barca Chelsea Champions league semi-final plus she's a junky whore who's inetvably going to be massively unreliable.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Walked into town today to buy a coat and on the way out saw Cheryl, I'm not 100% it was her but think it was, bent over and I thought she was about to puke on the pavement but she was just spitting or spitting something out. Pure class is our Chez! ha ha ha. I didn't speak to her 'cause she was with somone and I was in a shy mood. I only crossed the rd. a bit in front of her and was a bit disapointed she didn't shout me. i hope she didn't think I was shunning her or anything like that. If she'd have been on her own I'd have gone and had a chat and maybe invited her back here for something to eat altough I'd probably get thrown out 'cause a guy in the bedsit opposite got thrown out a few months ago because his bird was on the game so they'll just not give Cheryl a chance and just think she's trouble. A/w I had £10 more in my bank than I thought so I might go nad watch the match in town tonight which means walking through the red light area and maybe bumping into her and then swapping no.'s so I've got somone to text to and talk to again after finally letting my one and only friend know that I'd be harbouring bad feeling against him for something he said 2 yrs. ago which just made me hate his guts.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Well that's not getting to get talke about so you'll just have to wonder. but as you'd have gathred if you read the texts I posted he had a Schadenfreude moment that engendered maximum resentment and hatred but 'cause he was the only friend I had I was too scared of having no one to talk and text to to **** him off until yesterday morning when I did. Also we went on a bender about 3 weeks ago, the first day I met Cheryl as it happens, and during the reveleries he let slip something I can't quite remeber which shocked me and revealed the extent of his resentment of how I and my brother and some mates picked on him when we were kids although he was 3 yrs. older than us . He also a few yrs. ago sent me a drunken text saying something like 'how would you feel if you're life was made a misery by someone who is now trying to be friends with you etc. etc. etc. to which I replied 'are you on about me?' to wich he replied he wasn't but I was convinced he was and had just let it all out in a drunken text rant and then got scared that if he fell out with me he'd blow his chances of meeting my brother again.
a/w I came back on here to say before I replyed to that poster...I've had a tiny bit of good news which is helping me in my ever recurring battle against wanting to end it all...the local housing ass. have put me on the books which means I might only have to tough out 1 more winter in this freezing house and also I've found that there's some flats I can apply to move to that are quite near here which prior to becoming infatuated with Cheryl wasn't really something I cared about. Now it's imperative.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Enxcoutnerd another prostitiute last night. She was just walking along in the opposite direrection so I wasnt sure she was on fhe game also there were a few other people in the immediate versinity. Whnhn she saw me looking at her, i had to stare at her a bit hard cause I need glasses to see well close-up, she asked me if I smoked I said no then as she just went passed me a bit she just said 'business?'. I stopped and turned round n after an akward pause asked her if Cheryl was about...obviously she didn't wanna say and just said she didn't know 'anybody' and I felt a bit of a fool. She was pretty and healthy looking unlike Cheryl whos apeal to me is down to her charisma although she is quiet attractive but not healthy looking....even when she's not slumped on the pavement against a signpost in a heroin induced coma. There was another woman who I passed a few hundred ft. further along who was almost certainly on the game and might even have been Cheryl but I avoided looking at her long enough to make out her facial features. If it had been Cheryl I'm sure she'd av stopped me if for no other reason than to cadge a quid and 1/2 for some kebab meat n chips but I'm 1/2 expecting her to ignore me now cause I crossed the rd. in front of her the other day and she might have thought I didn't want to be seen with her in broad daylight in a busy town centre but I was just being shy cause she was with someone. Itd be iroinic if she thogut I was ignoring her considering I've hardly stopped thinking about her since I first met her. A/w I'm pretty sure it wasn't Cheryl cause after coming back home to get a tenner and walking back into town to get a bit drunk so it'd put mi in the right frame of mind to text Paul, and obviously I was still hoping to meet Cherl and take her for a drink, walked passed what I'm sure was the sqame woman blatantly stood on a corner but I put mi head down and avoided eye contact and she didn't ask me if I wanted business in case I was looking for business and didn't realisie she was a prostitute because I guess she just figued it was so obvios I was, rather ironically, putting my head down and walking on by knowing she was on the game.
Oh yeah and a car pulled up as I was walking back from town full of chavs one of whom squirted me with a water pistol. I think it was just normal water luckily it wasnt acid or anything like that. The other thing I thought it might be was that smart water shops spray on thrives or w/e the **** it is.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Saw another prostitute tonight. In total contrast to the one last night, this one was doddering along in front of me barely able to walk straight, obviously out of her head. She was much sexier than any of the others I’ve seen with an arse to die for but because a cop car had just gone by I just walked passed her and didn't even try to look around at her face which I now regret because as I was walking on she actually spoke to me saying 'hello love’ in a very airy flirty manner again totally in contrast to the one last night who was very unflirty and obviously sober and not making any show of trying to be overtly sexy. I can’t quite put my finger on the one from last night. Usually you can tell if somones working or middle class but I couldn’t with her. She was also sort of dressed down looking more like a country bumpkin or something than a city hooker but this one tonight was acting as feminine as they come. I also, on the way back, saw another woman who might have been Cheryl although I’d crossed to the other side of the rd. from where they mainly walk by then. Whoever it was strode along puffing on a *** looking like a caricature of a confident brassy whore. I’m going to have to start wearing my glasses. If it was Cheryl she seemed to be giving off a very different aura to what she usually does. It also means if it was Cheryl that I’ve now seen her and her me twice without us speaking which considering I’m infatuated with her is a bit worrying.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

The guy who livws in one of the downstairs besdhitd hailed me as i walked passed iceland and offere to guve me a lift home. A/w we were driving along Thorne rd and inevetably all i wanted to do wasbring ip my fav subkect...theprostitutes who i meet when i walk into town and hw told me that a guy who movedin a few weeks ago had brought one of yhem back "50£ a pop". So i think ill take thw risk of invititngg Cheryl round. Even if we only stay friends itll be good to have some company esp q cool artractive younger bird im infatuated with.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Ha ha ha i met Cheryl across the rd frim there. It looks a bit too picture perfect compared to irl

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I saw a condom, don't think from the glance I had of it had been used, on the pavement on the walk into town today which kinda punctured a few of my little fantasies vis a vis Cheryl. She may very well of dropped it there. Plus I've been thinking maybe she's got a pimp who if I get too friendly with her and tell her she can pop in for a drink and a bite to eat when she's out working for a break might, if she does so, cause trouble. I can't quite make my mind up whether the whole red light area thing is a bit more dangerous than I've been thinking while it's been something of a novelty. I've onlyy really been thinking about the morality/immorality of it in terms of the girls being used and if they're junkies how big a moral issues it is to pay them when you know the money is just going to dealers and ultimately the farmers who are growing the stuff in virtual war zones, actualy war zones in regards to Afghanistan, which obviously means that there's a link between paying a prostitute for sex in Doncaster and a child being killed in a war in Afghanistan. Now I'm begining to think that aside from the socio-political moral questions about it all, in terms of the girls themselves and the neighbouhood, I've been researching onine and sometimes they're out on the street while kids are on there way home from school, it might actually have more of a sinister dimension to it that could get me in bother with some pretty unsavory characters.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Well ive said im infatuated with her. woouldnt go so far as to say besotted though. Im more interestes in her as a friend tbh. Which isnt to say i dont thinkg avout us becoming an item.Thing about that yhough is i keep thinking shew might jave an std even aids which is hardly the most promising way to approach a relationship. I not even surw, come to thibk of it i wqnt her drinking out of my cups and using my cutleery but if she wants to be fruends then you have to dig deep fir friends dont you?
As to getting her off rhe gear then as shes denying shes a junky to me for e.g saying sh'd been having an epilepsy fit when she was slimped on the floor that day im going to ne wary of bringing the subjext up. I dont really care that much though. The rhing i care moat about vis a vis hard srugs is the imorality of the trqde vis a vis the money going bqck to where the ahit is grown creating death andsuffering to children who have the misdirtune to be birn in those areas. Hell i actualyy think if Cheryl getting iut of her brains in smackmakes her happy then i happy for her. If i didnt have ambutions in life i think imigjht just throwy life awqy on the gear...sounds less dull a life than getting married and having some kids that inevetqbly are going to turn into ungrateul spoilt brats.
****ing hate the keybiard on this nrw phine. Its **** cimoared to my last one

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

She probably would refuse to sleep with me if I didn't want to pay her unless we end up going out as an item which I'd be surprised is something she's got in mind.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

If we "did business" as Cheryl unrelentingly puts it then that would kill any friendship off altogwther. Thats just completey out of the question.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

well the mixing biz n pleasure is with me. w/e or not she thinks i can pay her for sex and we can still be friends I don't know. Who knows what she's thinking or what if anything she wants. I think it's interesting she never brought up the subject of paying her for sex the time she walking into town with me when she introduced herself sorta formally really and to all intents and purposes we became frriends..I'll have to see what happens next time we meet. i'll be walking into town for a few drinks most nights this week purely in the hope of meeting her and, if she's skint, which she inevtably will be or saying she will be, then I'll buy her a few drinks and her staple meal of chips and kebab meat. I'm gonna tell the kebab shop guy I'll pay a bit more for him to put a bit of salad on. She 'does business' with the kebab shop owner btw. or says she does. ha ha ha. As to getting involved well the funny thing is she's actually 'out of my league' in terms of looks. Obviously she's not ideal g/f material vis a vis lifestyle etc. but she is actually very good looking and I'm not so in that respect we'd be a bit of an odd couple. but I think as to just being friends and her just coming round for something to eat and a coffee then I want to get 'involved' as you put it in that.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I just fancy her and am infatuated with her. It's just the way it is. Happens all the time to various degress the big...massive difference is I never get anywhere near close to talking sociably with most women I fancy 'cause unlike Cheryl they a-Don't just approach me on street corners late at night in the pissing rain when I'm drunk trying to get me to pay them for sex and b-tag along with me when they bump into me on a street corner and walk into town with me. Most women aren't like that!!!!!!!!! Most women seem to want to let you know that they regard you as nothing more than a worthless piece of **** who's got to prove to them in someway that you're worthy of them deigning to speak to you...not a task I'm well suited to...far far from it. ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Saw Cheryl today. There was a small group of chavy looking people, i suppose Cheryl's a chav or what people mean when they say chav, and I thougt Cheryl might be with them and she was. She was in the midst of the group and was just hugging somoene so they were about to split up. For some reason i got the impression that the others were going to walk out of town and Cheryl was going to break off and go int to town. I turned round a bit to see if she was walking behind me on her own or with just one other person but she was still with the group. I'm actually a bit worried now because drunk and sober I've now asked 3 of the other prostitutes if they've seen her and if they've told her 'some guy was asking about you' and she thinks it's me from the description maybe she'll be angry. A/w for some reason I just can't help thinknig she's gone off me and so I'm pretty desperate to meet her again and find out that she's still being as friendly as the last time we met when she invited me to that party. Also seeing her face today made me realise I'm now beyond infatuated with her and I think I now love her which is the last thing I want 'cause the last time that happened with Helen I ended up getting carried away one morning and proposing to her. I don't want to marry Cheryl although I might do 'cause if she's not got any family or they've abandonded her then when as is pretty much inevitable, she o.d's one day then as her husband I'll be able to make sure she get's sent off properly as a cool, smart, tough and troubled beauty that someone loved and cared about as opposed to a junky whore who society at large despised, ignored and condemened.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I didn't say I was 'in love'. I'm not in love...i love her. To me based on my experience of life there's a distinct difference. If I was 'in love' with her then considering I know she spends most of her nights walknig around the streets literally jut around the corner from where I live I'd have been out trying to meet her a lot lot lot more than I have. I've hardly ever been out at nights to try and meet her. In fact in a way I've never been out at night to try and meet her. I've just on about 4 or 5 occaisions walked into town at night to have a pint or two and hoped to meet her on the way 'cause the route I have to take...the most direct route is through the red light area.

More to come soon.

[The Batlord]

Cheryl Part 2

Spoiler for Dude, no...:

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Walking into town last night was a bit interesting vis a vis prostitutes. 1st off I met one just around the corner from where I live and she actually smiled at me well more to her self really. It was a bit strange. I think she saw me react to seeing her and thought,accurately, I was thinking '****in' hell she's a nice one' and so she was sorta smiling at that. W/e it was very strange to actually see one smile. There's an outside chance it was the one I met the previous night at about the same spot when I was sloshed and had said something like 'your nice if I had some spare cash I'd **** you' Not sure what exact words I used so I do't think I quite put it like that but then I was sloshed so I might have done so if it was her maybe she was smiling about that or something else I'd said or maybe I'd met her before and not remembered 'cause I was drunk. 2nd I saw the one I asked about Cheryl last week who said 'I don't know anybody' and she was shouting across the rd. to some guy and seemed to be happy and enjoying some banter. For some reason I got the impression he'd just said he wasn't wanting to do business with her then but had in the past and she was joshing him to put his hands in his pocket. She seemed a lot differnt to when I saw her last week when I got the impression she was a bit of a cold fish. She did her usual routine of asking me if I smoked before saying 'are you looking for any business'. Then 3rdly I saw one in a mini-skirt. I guess she was one it's not impossible she was just walking along but I reckon she was and she's the first one I've ever seen that I've actually thought about actually using. I can't understand why most of them where trousers, apart from maybe they prefer it 'cause it's harder for a punter to rape them, but if they wanna get more custom then they aught to wear short skirts 'cause It'd tempt the punters a lot more.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Ive tried with prostitutes before and found it a poor substitute and just ubsatisfying in general if i had more money then i might have used one. As to my fetish you eother dont wqnt to or havent understood that i live right slap-bang in yhe middle of the red lighy area and Cheryl aside who dont forget has formaly introduced herself via thr means of asking me my name and offerig me her hand to shake yhereby to al intents and mypurpses making friends with me, all im really doing...what you call my fetish is commenting on what i see aroubd me The only way i could avoid walking theougj the red light area is by taking a detour. . Plus i got my dole money on Wed fasciliyating a the past 2 nights boozing.

Also I want to take issue with your idea that I have a fetish for prostitutes. They are, don't forget, ultimately human females and I am a human male who is not homosexual in other words I'm bloody always interested in many many many women no matter who or where or w/e I encounter them. Understaann? The fact there prostitutes is quite a novelyt which is why I post about them on here and other places online 'cause I think it might be interesting apart from when I g o on about Cheryl. Speakig of whom I wrote this post on the train now i'm back at home and guess who I saw on the walk out of town? She was with a few people who were just stood around pretty much an identical situation to yesterday except on a narrow stretch of pavement and so we were nearer and I nodded in acknowledgement and said 'Hi Cheryl' and she said 'hi darling'. but 'cause she was with people I didn't stop and talk. Damn people!! A/w it's only a question of time before I bump into her again when she's on her own. I'm finding any and every excuse to walk into town and she obviously lives somewhere around the red light area which is why I keep seeing her in the day when she's not working and to all intensts and purposes the red light area doesn't even exist. The main thing about seeing her today is she didn't come over and give me **** for asking about her when I've been drunk and encoutered some of her colleges. No. The main thing is she called me darlin' which has made me so happy I feel like dancing!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I didn't mind too much but fetish is just not the right word. Don't forget most of that paragraph is about other things I just led on to from replying to you. It wasn't like a wrote a paragraph about it.

a/w Derek who I swapped rooms with the other day who had one of the prostitutes round in this room just after he moved in has just knocked on my dooor. I barely heard him and wasn't even sure it was a knock but it was and when I ans. he whispered that the prozzy had been round shouting up at my window 'cause obviously she didn't know he'd swapped with me so he whispered that if she get's in the house I've got to 'act daft...tell her I've moved on'. Then he said 'what would happend if I brought that bird from the gym back and then she got in or started shouting up at the window?' At which poijnt i burst out laughing 'cause it was obvious he was regretting bringing her back in the first place. He also told me she'd been round a few times since they did business and he'd 'lent' her in total £75. It was at this point I said 'what you whispering for?' she's gone hasnt' she? And he said he was 'paranoid'. Then i told him all I'd ever given Cheryl was a total of £2.50 for some chips and kebab meat and wouldn't dream of 'lending' her or any of the other prostitutes more than a few pound at a time. Now I all I want is for her to come back so I can see which one it is.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek, the guy I swapped rooms with, knocked on my door earlier. When I opened it he looked angry and he was. He told me someone had been going to the toilets every 10 mins this morning and had woken him up then he asked me if I had a weak bladder. He knows I like a drink so why he didn't think I must have been out drinking last night I don't know. That would have been the obvious explanation. Strange thing is it wasn't me he heard 'cause when I woke up this morning about 4 O'clock i was still drunk and couldn't be bothered walking to the toilet so I peed in the sink, I think I did anyway...I had some vague memory of doing that when I sobered up. So when he accused me of making a noise going to the toilet 'every 10 mins' I couldn't tell him why it wasn't me! ha ha ha Also I heard that prostitute shouting up at my window thinking he was still in this room about 1/2 hr. before he knocked and didn't want to look out of the window and get invovled in lying to her as he want's me to to get rid of her once and for all by telling her he's moved out altogher but I want to know which one it is and if it's one I've seen walking into town. I don't like that guy anymore not that I really liked him much in the first place and also walking into town last night I realised the novelty of living in a red light area has now worn off and I actually walked on the other side of the rd. to avoid them for a bit. Still want to talk to Cheryl again though 'cause she's been friendly to me whereas the others when I'm drunk and try to talk to them just get ratty with me as soon as they realise I'm not going to do business.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Just seen Cheryl walking into town. She was on the phone as i waljed past her and i said 'Alright Cheryl' but she ignored me. Then dhe turned round pretty much straight away and wgile still on the blower said 'busuness?' i just shook my head and she turned back round leaving me to pondwr just exactly this leaves our relarionship. Furst off i was thinking she only we were friends and so was a bit takenaback and crestfallen that she treated me just like a punter. Then i thought 'good' shes bound to be trouble and uber streetsmart and possibly a theif who i cant trust so its best nit to be invilved cause im massuvely out of my depth. Then it iccured to me that she didnt recognise me when i walked passed and when she noticed id nodded and said 'hi Cheryl' she thought i was a punter trying to tell her i eanted to di business. A/w i much prefer it when she, as she didlast week one afternoon, just syas 'Hi darlin' when i walk passed her whether its un the day when shes iff-duty or at night when shes trying ti selll her body. Also i saw her yeserdat moening looking in an estate agents window but ignored her cause i was feeling a bit shy so maybe shes seen me walking by once too often without stipping to talk and thinks im avoiding her in datlight. I stll thinks shes cool and if ive not spent all my money here in tje pub and meet her on the way back ill buy her a kebab...tjats if shes still talking to me!!!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I met Cheryl on the way home from the pub. I was pretty drunk a/w she went back to the kebab shop with me and sat talking to me while the kebab came. It was ****in' fantastic although I definetly got the impresseion she didn't really like me but she was probably just thinking about wanting to make some money and knew that wasn't going to happen with me. I told her I was obsessed with her and loved her and thought she was cool and ever since we'd first met I'd been thinking about her a lot. We talked a lot or rather I did. Some salient points-Sue, the name tattooed on her hand is her dead sister. I asked her about it and she said she'd died of 'epilepsy' it was blatantly obvious that she was using 'epilespy' as a euphimsm for heroin. -She calls going for a pee a 'piddle' which diminishes her coolness status somewhat. We were sat in the kebab shop waiting for it when I said I needed to go 'for a...' and she just interjected 'piddle'. The cool thing was though I went behind a van in the car park next to the kebab shop and she was waiting for me with our kebab. I repeatedly told her she was gorgeous and that when I won the lottery I'd get her off the street. Even though I was drunk I think I managed to be diplomatic about things for the most part although I'm bound to have let on in someway some of the more negative thoughts I've had about her. The most disapoing thing was how abruptly she left me after eating her half of the kebab plus she didn't hug me and she's a big hugger in geeneral. I found out she's 27 and i think I asked her if she had a boyfriend and I'm prety sure she said no. I think I was trying to get her to come back to my bedsit jsut to keep me company and stuff but she said she was staying out working. I can't remember much about what I was saying to her though. It was mainly bringing up thing to do with our previous encounters. I seemed to keep saying things like 'do you remember...' and getting the impression she didn't. For e.g I asked her if she remembered seeing me last week in the afternoon and saying 'Hi darling' but I can't remember what she said in reply. She didn't seem to say much and just seemed to give me brief token responses but I don't mind too much. It was just so cool sat in that kebab shop sitting across the table from her for 5 mins waiting for the kebab even though it's now beyond dispute that she's basically just using me and I had an underlying feeling that the conversation wasn't flowing too well on account of her basic lack of interest in me. Still I've been into town now about 5 times hoping to meet her when walking back while drunk and take her for a kebab and finally last night that dream came true. I think my fav. moment was when I said 'you're always starving' and she smiled and said 'I know'. It was probably the only moment of any kind of affection between us. The low point I won't detial but it basically entailed me smiling at an inappropirate meoment. I'm very worried about that 'cause if she clocked it and realised what it might mean then she'll hate my guts. I want to die!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Cheryl's pregnant.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Yeah. It's knocked the stuffing out of me. I just ****in' hate it and if that's not nice then well I'm not a nice person. I went in to town tonight although I didn't meet her where she stands to do business I met her in town proper and she seemed a bit drunk then she told me she'd been arrested today 'cause 'some american guy had kicked her in the belly' which is when she said she was pregnant and pulled up her top to show me. Then she said she'd kicked him back and thrown him down the stairs or something and had been arrested but let off because he'd started it. I asked her more but she changed the subject. Then i bought her something to eat and we walked up the rd. a bit before she said 'why don't you go for your drink and meet me at the bus stop', where she stands to do business, 'later' which was an obvious attempt to fob me off and I left her and didn't meet her on my way home. It has to be said it's entirely possible the pregancny is a fake and her seemingly enlarging belly is part of some elaborate scam or something like that. I find it a bit strange she didn't mention it last night not to mention the fact she asked me to do business with her last night then again she was sober last night so probably less inclined to come out with anything no matter how distantly related to reality. I only wanted to go in and see her tonigh 'cause I was worried about something that happened last night and wanted to gauge her reaction to me. ****! Chery's pregnant! ****! ****! ****! Cheryl is pregnant! ****! ****! ****! This isn't going to bring out the best in me.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

That's the 2nd post today where someone seems to think I'm making all this up. I wish i ****in' was!!!

Also today, while I'm at it, I saw one of the prostitutes who I think was the one I saw about 3 weeks ago who I walked passed and who said 'hello love' in an obviously sloshed voice but didn't turn round so never saw her face.but now I've seen her face that particular curiosity has been satisfied. She's quite nice. She said 'want any business love' so it probably is the same one 'cause none of the others say 'love' when they proposition me.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Thanks but until she has a miscarriage, probably Septermber sometime, there won't be anymore and in fact there won't be any more period 'cause the way she just fobbed me off after I'd bought her something to eat tonight proved once and for all I'm just a mug to buy her anything. I wouldn't have minded but apart from wanting to gauge her reaction after a massive faux pas on my part last night, and a few smaller ones, I was hoping to finally fulfil my dream of buying her a drink in a pub while pretending to myself she was an actual girlfriend. I came home feeling gutted a-because of the pregancny b-because I'd spent £5 on the taco or w/e it was when I'd thought it was only going to be £3 and b-'cause she fobbed me off obviously not wanting to come for a drink making me feel used. She asked me if I wanted some of the mexican thing I'd bought her but I didn't have any appetite. I wonder if I would have if I hadn't just found out she was 3 months pregnant. If I hadn't have been so besotted with her over the last few months I would right now just staright up call her a bitch I'm that put out by developments.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I'm only vaguel aware of what HBO is so don't really know what to make of that.
A/w It's occured to me that Cheryl was jsut pushing her belly out last night. I noticed she was definetly drunk or stoned as soon as I met her and it wouldn't surprise me if she was just pushing her belly out for some reason known only to her she'd wanted to make me think she was pregnant. If she really is pregnant then why hasn't she mentioned it before? And What the **** kinda person goes out working as a prostitute not to mention taking drink and drugs and smoking ***s when they're 3 months pregnant? Also because she said she was 3 months pregnant that means she was 2 months pregnant when I found her slumped against that sign post 3 days after I first met her just over a month ago when she approached me to do business. If we dismiss entirely the idea she was having an epileptic fit then it's just a straight up fact she was in a heroin induced coma that day.
I've got over the fact she's pregnant now vis a vis my own feelings however that's two occaisons following on frome each other when she's not been able to get away from me quick enough after I've bought her something to eat which is what's really bothering me. In fact I think next time I see her I'm just going to tell her straight 'our 'friendship' isn't workng out and then say something like 'what do you want me to do if I find you in coma again?' and then just not even bother stopping to talk to her again and just help her if she's on the floor out of it on smack. It was pretty shocking seeing her like that and it wouldn't have surprised me at all if she was dead 'cause she was massively unresponsive plus I've always hated people who waste their life like she has. Esp. when she's obviously quite a smart, tough and gorgeous woman who could have done something interesting and worthwhile with her life. There's kids starving to death and living in war zones who'd love to have the opportunities Cheyrl has had and she's not appreciated how lucky she is to live in a country like this. Just pisses me off when people throw their lives away on smack and ****. I'm usually just basically callous and contemptous of people like that but I went and fell for Cheryl didn't I? So tried to like her as a person and not be hard on her 'cause of her ****ed up lifestyle choices but now I'm feeling used it's all coming out. I also now am convinced she doesn't like me and the fact I have a lot of affection for her means jack **** to her which is just making me feel foolish. I don't even want to see her again now which says it all really! **** her! Not literally. ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Went into town twice today. Met Cheryl the first time right in town ctr. I had £1.50 on me. She cadged 50p just before I went into the phone shop and £1. on the way out. As soon as she'd got the money she ****ed off altbough to be fair the 2nd time she only asked me for 9pence but I only had a squid so gave her that. The 2nd time I went i I was going into the shopping mall and as I put my hand on the door handle for one of those window-door type things a big fat woman just behind me stuck her elbow on the door-window type thing just above where I'd started to push the door open using the handle which isn't really a handle as such but I don't know how to descirbe it it's more like a bigish metal plate. As she did that she said 'all those germs'. Obviously meaning she didn't want to touch the bigish metal plate handle thing because everyone else has been doing all day, inc. me of course. I turned round and gave her a look and a smile. I don't know how to descirbe the smile I gave her or what it meant but 'cause she'd said that about the germs, which isn't something i'd have ever thought about, it made me feel weirdly conscious about my hands and all the germs that had jsut been put on it. in fact now i'm typing this back home i've not washed my hands since then and have bought 4 currys from a supermarket and a bottle of mile which i held by the handle so what germs are now on my keyboard, the curry boxes and the milk handle. I also picked up and put back 2 boxes of Sugar puffs in Iceland so what germs have i put on that from the door handle plate thing. I think I'm now going to wash my hands.

Still more to come.

[The Batlord]

Cheryl Part 3

Spoiler for Dude, no...:

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

All I know vis a vis her being pregnant is when I met her Fri night she said she'd been attacked by an American guy and then she said something about being pregnant and I said 'what?!!' so she lifted up her top and showed me her belly which was puffed out a bit. W/e or not she was just puffing it out and the whole thing about being attacked and pregnant was just classic junky whore fantasy **** I don't know. I suspect it was but I don't know. I'm preparing myself for a 'i've had a miscarriage' story in the not too distant future. I forgot to look at her bellly when I saw her in town the next day.

As to the 2nd thing you said you must not have read what i put properly. I was recounting two seperate trips in to town only the first of which related to Cheryl. The other was just a general anecdote about something totally un-Cheryl related.

as to your 3rd point. Cheryl does!

4th point. They were on offer too!!! £3.00 for 2 boxes. I'd have got them but wanted to keep a bit of spare change and if I'd have got them I'd have only had a squid left.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Saw Cheryl again last night. She's definetly pregnant. We saw one of the other prostitutes and Cheryl bad mouthed her saying something like 'she's a right ****in' dirty slag. She's got herpes and gonorohea and ****s pakis.' I said 'you can't say things lke that!' She also went and had a pee in somone's garden while I was stood at the gate waiting for her and saw her arse! So I've seen a quite unpleasnt side to her character that I've not seen before and funnily enough love her all the more for it...apart from the blatant rascim of course!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Had a microwave meal with an unbeliveabley small amount of chicken then dropped a bit on the floor and in anger and frustration threw it out of the window into next doors garden. So 'cause I was hungry later and had a bit of spare cash I walked into town to get a kebab for myself and Cheryl if she was there. She wasn't. The guy in the kebab shop asked me something and I ddin't quite get what he was saying but as he'd said the word 'wrap' I presumed he'd said do I want it wrapped. He didn't he wanted to now if I wanted it in a wrap and so 'cause I'd said no they put it in a Nan bread. What happened to the good ol' days when you could just go in a kebab shop and say 'kebab' please and then walk out with about 1 mins later?

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Had one of my occaisonal forays into town for a few pints last night. Only really went to get drunk enough to overcome my shyness and talk to Cheryl and take her for a kebab. She wasn't out working or she was and was off doing business when I walked by where she usually stands.Met some guy in the pub who knew one of the staff and he started talking to me while I got a pint then came and sat with me. He was a massive twat. I told him I'd proposed to a woman last year and he indicated I should have slapped her with the back of my hand. He actually acted out doing this! When I left the pub I met a guy from downstairs who was walking up the road when I came out of the pub and shouted me so we walked back together. He's a ****in' idiot as well. Everytime I've met him he's done nothing but slag people off and threaten to smash people's faces in, the cop who came round when we had that trouble with the smashed window the other month and now the guy who's move into the room above him and whoever is going out of the door to work in the morning and wakes him up. His ****in' room is right next to the front door! What's he ****in' expect people to do? NOt ****in' use it? Then there's his views on smackheads. They should all 'be lined up and have a bullet put in their heads'!! He actually said that!!! Then he told me how much smackheads cost Doncaster council every year! This coming from a guy who's claiming the higher rate of incapacity benefit because of 'epilepsy'. I do'nt belive he's got epilepsy either. He's jsut a sponger. When he and his bird gave me lift home when I met them in Iceland car park the other month he'd just bought a crate of ale!!! What really pisses me off is he once told me that the normal amount of unemployment benefit...that I get...'isn't enough'. He said it as if he was offended that the govt. would expect him to live on what is basically just enough to survive plus a bit spare i.e not enough to buy as many crates of ale and weed as he wants! What a selfish ignorant wanker! What he means by it 'isn't enough' is that it's not as much as he wants which is probably why he's decided to fake epilepsy to get the higher amount. He gets nearly twice as much as me.I consider myself lucky to have the normal rate of benefit which despite what that dickwad thinks and says is enough. In fact it's more than enough yet that **** somehow has come to the conclusion he deserves more!! I'm going to have to seriously try and stop going out drinking and just walk into town a couple of nights a week and buy Cheryl a kebab sober just to alleviate being on my own all the time 'cause last night was a nadir. The only two people I conversed with were just about the two most unpleasent offensive gob****es I've ever met in my life and that's the extent of my social life.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek came in my room last night drunk and telling me he couldn't tune his tv in to the match. I thought it was just a ruse to come and watch it with me. After about 10 mins. he went to the shope to buy a bottle of vodka. When he came back he'd brought a couple of the prostitutes and told them to knock on my door and go in before him so when I heard the knock and shouted 'yeh. Come in.' I was surprised that 2 attractive, rather lively, women came in. I pretty much ignored them on accout of the England game being on. The prozzies left after about 1/2 an hour although one of them, Jeanie, promised to reutrn to spend the night 'cuddling' up in bed with Derek for the night...at no cost or so he said....I didn't hear the exact conversation 'cause I was concentrating on the football something I managed to do even while one of them was repeatedly trying to distract me by lifiting up her skimpy skirt and flashing her knickers. After the match and 1/2 a bottle of vodka me and Derek walked into town although we didn’t manage to get served anywhere ‘cause the bouncers wouldn’t let us in. When we got back, with some guy in tow Jeanie actually did come back and just so happened to know the guy who’d come back with use. We spent about ½ an hour in Dereks room. I kept talking to Jeanie about Cheryl and telling her Iloved her, Cheryl that is, then rembering the night Cheryl told me she’d been attacked by an American guy and had kicked him down the stairs said something like ‘I know you girls ‘out there’ are all tough but I don’t think your as tough as Cheryl whereupon she repeatedly punched me in the face. We made it up soon afterwards though. I remember telling her ‘never mind…it’s not like your Mike Tyson.’ She and the guy who’d come back with us left soon after.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Guess who I found on FB today? Might put her profile pic up if anyone really wants me to. Then again might not just incase any of you have got image tracking software and uses it to find her on FB and tell her some of the things I've said about her. I've only really said one bad thing and that was to call her a 'junky whore' which only did for narrative effect. Oh yeah. She's got some totall thug idiot b/f. or maybe she hasn't. He only recently joined FB as did Cheryl but his status was changed on June 21st to single. Ah! She's not on his friends. I thought he was but it was just a pic she'd put of him saying 'can't wait to see you DaddyX'. That was on May 21st which is almost certainly before I asked her if she had a bf and she said no. He's in jail I think. I'm guessing they've split up now. Seems strange their not on each others friends despite putting pics of each other up.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

ON the spur of the moment I went down a rd. where I know there's a lot of houses advertising rooms and rang one of them. The woman I was talking to was in the house and I said I was outside so went to speak to her. I'm moving in on friday! That'll teach that **** of a landlord not to evict wanker tenants who threaten non-wanker tenants with violence with virtually every breath they take. Its a shared house bur its got a lock on tje door and a fridge in the room. Its also got internet which means i can come off the one-plan ive been on cause i need to tether so i can gi back to £5 payg saving me 20-30 squids a mth.The best thing about it is it's 15 squid a week cheaper so I only have to pay 8 squid a week top-up from my housing benefit whereas im paying 22 squid atm. Also im hoping its got a better shower room...like one with a light bulb in it snd that isnt situsted in an airing cupboard. Plus it's double-glazed windows so should be warmer. Its nearer town too. In fact it's less than 2 mins walk away from where Cheryl stands soliciting sex from strangers for money so she might come round for a coffee. Not seen her for a while 'cause I'm watching the pennies and not been into town drinking plus she's probably on materinity leave though I've been surpised she's been out working even though she's now showing quite a bit and has been for about a month now.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Just seen Cheryl, who I’m still pretty much in love with it has to be said, for the first time in a few mths and the first time since one of the other prostitutes, Jeanie, punched me repeatedly in the face for saying she wasn’t as tough as Cheryl and probably just because she wanted me to shut up going on about Cheryl and things to do with the prositutes in general. I was saying too much not particularly anything too bad. A/w I was worried what Jeanie might have told her and Cheryl scares me anyway so I was even more scared that she’d be angry I was telling Jeanine about the time I’d found her slumped in a heroin induced coma and a few other things. I don’t usually stop and talk to her when she’s with all her chav mates like she was today but there wasn’t many and she wasn’t in the middle of a crowd like she usually is so I stopped. She’s not lost the baby, as I've been thinkinig she might, and told me it was due on Nov 28th. I said good luck with it which made me think she might say ‘why would I need good luck?’ to which the only honest ans. Would be ‘because you’re a smack head prosititue’ a/w she said ‘thanks darling’ then I said I’ll see you later and she said ‘take care.’ And then gave me the slowest wink I’ve ever seen in my life which I’m presuming meant she was out of it on smack. She also had a tinnie in her hand and was smoking!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Just skimmed through some of your oh so hillarious posts. a/w

Just met Cheryl in town. Hardly seen for last 4 mths and when I hve it's only been breifly. She walked along with me for a bit and let me gabble on about a flat I was going to move into back in Jan, then I told her about Jeanine hitting me and Derek turning out to be an *******. The she started being sick. It was either to do with morning sickness or heroin withdrawl or heroin use 'cause I'm sure when I met her the other mth and had a breif chat she was out of it on smack. I told her i hoped it was going to be alright...her pregnancy obviously and she said 'it will' and I'm sure she knew what I was thinking...that her heroin use was going to 'cause a miscarriage or otherwise ill effect the baby. She threw up a bit more then asked me for some money, walked along a bit more with me then we went out seperate ways.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

on a secondary note. I just wanna say I love Cheryl! She might be a junky whore and stillusing smack while up the duff but I'll stand by her to the max. She's worth a millon trillion billion Dereks! Cheyrl is just ****in' it! I love you babe!
btw it's race day today which is obviously good for buisness so no doubt Cheryl will be out working. I know she's still working even though she's 7 mths pregnant 'cause the other day she said "I don't see you anymore". This is cause I don't go into town drinking anymore which means she knows that 'cause she's still out working...even though she's 7 mths pregnant! Next time I've got a spare £5 I think I'll have a walk along and buy her a kebab...next time I've got a spare £50 I'll have a walk along and **** her brains out....well maybe next year when she's dropped her sprog!

btw 2-Cheyl wears the pants in our relanthiosp...I'm ****in' petrifed of her and unlike D***** she's never pinned me up agianst the wall and threanted to burn me to death!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Funnily enough I was actually thinking about just walking alOng and buying Cheryl a kebab tonight as I don't need to save my squids as I was going to to buy an iPhone. More later.

Sadly, that's the last we ever heard of Cheryl. We miss you, gurl.

[The Batlord]

Derek Part 1

Spoiler for Dude, no...:

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I didn't mind too much but fetish is just not the right word. Don't forget most of that paragraph is about other things I just led on to from replying to you. It wasn't like a wrote a paragraph about it.

a/w Derek who I swapped rooms with the other day who had one of the prostitutes round in this room just after he moved in has just knocked on my dooor. I barely heard him and wasn't even sure it was a knock but it was and when I ans. he whispered that the prozzy had been round shouting up at my window 'cause obviously she didn't know he'd swapped with me so he whispered that if she get's in the house I've got to 'act daft...tell her I've moved on'. Then he said 'what would happend if I brought that bird from the gym back and then she got in or started shouting up at the window?' At which poijnt i burst out laughing 'cause it was obvious he was regretting bringing her back in the first place. He also told me she'd been round a few times since they did business and he'd 'lent' her in total £75. It was at this point I said 'what you whispering for?' she's gone hasnt' she? And he said he was 'paranoid'. Then i told him all I'd ever given Cheryl was a total of £2.50 for some chips and kebab meat and wouldn't dream of 'lending' her or any of the other prostitutes more than a few pound at a time. Now I all I want is for her to come back so I can see which one it is.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek, the guy I swapped rooms with, knocked on my door earlier. When I opened it he looked angry and he was. He told me someone had been going to the toilets every 10 mins this morning and had woken him up then he asked me if I had a weak bladder. He knows I like a drink so why he didn't think I must have been out drinking last night I don't know. That would have been the obvious explanation. Strange thing is it wasn't me he heard 'cause when I woke up this morning about 4 O'clock i was still drunk and couldn't be bothered walking to the toilet so I peed in the sink, I think I did anyway...I had some vague memory of doing that when I sobered up. So when he accused me of making a noise going to the toilet 'every 10 mins' I couldn't tell him why it wasn't me! ha ha ha Also I heard that prostitute shouting up at my window thinking he was still in this room about 1/2 hr. before he knocked and didn't want to look out of the window and get invovled in lying to her as he want's me to to get rid of her once and for all by telling her he's moved out altogher but I want to know which one it is and if it's one I've seen walking into town. I don't like that guy anymore not that I really liked him much in the first place and also walking into town last night I realised the novelty of living in a red light area has now worn off and I actually walked on the other side of the rd. to avoid them for a bit. Still want to talk to Cheryl again though 'cause she's been friendly to me whereas the others when I'm drunk and try to talk to them just get ratty with me as soon as they realise I'm not going to do business.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek who I swapped rooms with the other week has just knocked on my door inviting me out for a drink. I said no. Then he told me he'd put £200 on England last night!! ****in' hate gambling! The guy then had the cheek to tell me that 'life's out there...not in your room!'. Oh yeah and he said he'd bring me a few beers back which is ironic considering the last time I went out for a few beers the next day he lookedlike he wanted to kill me for waking him up when I got back.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

It's someone doing a charity run called Race for life. I just been in the room of the guy I swapped rooms with. He's pissed on Vodka already and has nearly 1/2 a bottle left. He started shouting at the women as they were running passed, his room has a window oout on to the street where as mines a back room, and even told me he'd been out looking at them 'all dressed in pink'!!!! I made my excuses and left well actually I didn't make my excuses I just left! ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek came in my room last night drunk and telling me he couldn't tune his tv in to the match. I thought it was just a ruse to come and watch it with me. After about 10 mins. he went to the shope to buy a bottle of vodka. When he came back he'd brought a couple of the prostitutes and told them to knock on my door and go in before him so when I heard the knock and shouted 'yeh. Come in.' I was surprised that 2 attractive, rather lively, women came in. I pretty much ignored them on accout of the England game being on. The prozzies left after about 1/2 an hour although one of them, Jeanie, promised to reutrn to spend the night 'cuddling' up in bed with Derek for the night...at no cost or so he said....I didn't hear the exact conversation 'cause I was concentrating on the football something I managed to do even while one of them was repeatedly trying to distract me by lifiting up her skimpy skirt and flashing her knickers. After the match and 1/2 a bottle of vodka me and Derek walked into town although we didn’t manage to get served anywhere ‘cause the bouncers wouldn’t let us in. When we got back, with some guy in tow Jeanie actually did come back and just so happened to know the guy who’d come back with use. We spent about ½ an hour in Dereks room. I kept talking to Jeanie about Cheryl and telling her Iloved her, Cheryl that is, then rembering the night Cheryl told me she’d been attacked by an American guy and had kicked him down the stairs said something like ‘I know you girls ‘out there’ are all tough but I don’t think your as tough as Cheryl whereupon she repeatedly punched me in the face. We made it up soon afterwards though. I remember telling her ‘never mind…it’s not like your Mike Tyson.’ She and the guy who’d come back with us left soon after.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek is becoming a major pain. He seemingly never stops talking about how hard he is and basically just coming out with all kinds of things to try and intimidate me. Tonight I was in his room and I was just making a joke about the 18 yrs. old who moved in last week and who seems to think the sun shines out of Dereks arse that he would soon get used to England losing at major competitions and then outta the ****in' blue Derek just starts threatening me with 'this guy is like a son to me and if you ****in' start on him...blah blah blah.' I said 'what the **** are you on about I'm not even doing anything like that.' To which he slurred 'well if you do I'm as hard as nails me' he actualy said that!! I said 'Look what you even bringing that up for ****s sake?' It's pretty obvious Derek despite being a bit big is basically a toal ****-bag and is just coming out with all the hardman talk to try and impress people. This morning when I mentioned he came to my room the other night 'cause he couldnt get his tv to work he actually confessed to it being a ruse and obviously he was just wanting someone to talk to and for some reason didn't want to just knock on my door. Prick! Anway all I've got to do is hold my nerve and tongue and just let him jabber away like a big fat bag of ****e. I've zero interest in being friends with either of them which is my trump card and not a trump card I'm used to having 'cause usually I'm so desperate for people to talk to...

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

It's the other guy who's got epilepsy but he's just the same...Every time I've ever spoke to him he's seemed incapable of relating to people outside of threatending to smash their faces in.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Well I've just gone and had it out with Derek afther I heard him bragging to that 18 yrs. old kid that I'd left his rooom last night after he threatened me! He flipped out and piinned me up against the wall shouting 'look at my eyes...I'm a ****in' mad man I am aren't I?' He kept clenching his fist up and intimating punching me in the face and **** like that. A lot more was said inc. it has to be said a few brieif moments where he seemed like his normal sober self. At one point he even grabbed my hand to shake it but the upshot is I've rung the landlord and he's going to come round. I could go out and start trying to fight him and **** but I've at least gone and confronted him once and didn't run off when he flipped out and it has to be said when I first approached him he had the hammer that he keeps by his door in his hand although he was only using it to put some pics up or something and it was just bad timing on my part. I think the only option the landlord has got is to throw him out. Esp. now I've told him Derek's being telling me **** like 'I could get you thrown out because the landlords from this town and I'm from this town and your not so he'll throw you out if I tell him to'. The landlord said 'that's rubbish. I'm my own man.' I think he genuinely is a bit schizo but only when drunk.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Well they can't be bothering you too much if you can still get a kick out of other peoples problems.


A/w I've just seen Derek in his car as I was coming back to the house. He actually smiled at me!!! I told him I didn't want him knocking on my door or trying to talk to me anymore. He said 'alright. I've just said I'm sorry haven't I?' To which I said 'Do you realise what you did?' and then he said 'you scare me!' I said 'What the **** you on about? I've never even thought about doing anything to you!!!' and he said 'It's a ****hole...your used to these places I'm not.' The mind boggles! Everytime any talk of anything to do with having to fight or defend yourself crops up I've made a point of playing it down and said things like 'It's not the South Central L.A!' esp. since it dawned on me that he's basically got some kinda paranoid obssesion with having to fight people. For e.g people playig the music loud. IN his mind all he think about it is that ulimtately it boils down to if someone thinks they're harder than him then if their musics loud and he goes and asks them to turn it down then they'll tell him to **** off because their not scared of him so he's scared of having to go and tell people to turn their music down in case they tell him to **** off which makes him feel he has to think about it boiling down to violence and that's all at the forefront of his mind which is why he keeps going on about being a 'big lad.' I mean the guy upstaris who does play his musc loud every now and again is actually quite big himself but the other day Derek actually said 'I'm bigger than him'. If he is then it's by about 2mm yet he's actually factored that into his thinking. Also the day after the 5'2 prostitute was punching me in the face on Sunday night he said 'If she did that to me I'd have ****in' thrown her down the stairs'!! and as he was at the stairhead next to my door he actually acted it out! So he's so scared of being seen as a weakling that he has to mouth off about defending himself against a 5'2 woman who's got a punch about as hard as being hit in the face with a pillow!!!!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Jeez! The past 2 days have been utter ****e but I feel little moments of optimsim breaking through. The main thing is I haven't ended up out on the street, in hospital or in jail and I don't have to worry about Derek trying to socailise with me anymore!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

ON the spur of the moment I went down a rd. where I know there's a lot of houses advertising rooms and rang one of them. The woman I was talking to was in the house and I said I was outside so went to speak to her. I'm moving in on friday! That'll teach that **** of a landlord not to evict wanker tenants who threaten non-wanker tenants with violence with virtually every breath they take. Its a shared house bur its got a lock on tje door and a fridge in the room. Its also got internet which means i can come off the one-plan ive been on cause i need to tether so i can gi back to £5 payg saving me 20-30 squids a mth.The best thing about it is it's 15 squid a week cheaper so I only have to pay 8 squid a week top-up from my housing benefit whereas im paying 22 squid atm. Also im hoping its got a better shower room...like one with a light bulb in it snd that isnt situsted in an airing cupboard. Plus it's double-glazed windows so should be warmer. Its nearer town too. In fact it's less than 2 mins walk away from where Cheryl stands soliciting sex from strangers for money so she might come round for a coffee. Not seen her for a while 'cause I'm watching the pennies and not been into town drinking plus she's probably on materinity leave though I've been surpised she's been out working even though she's now showing quite a bit and has been for about a month now.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I' was just going out to get a burger and met the guy whot threatened me and the guy upstairs and they didn't know I'd just moved back then we heard shouing and banging on the door. They said it was a prostitute who's been coming back and told me not to let her in. When I went out she started going 'where's ****in' Derek. He ****in' owes me money. I'm a traveler and I'm coming back with the lads and your going to get the **** kicked out of you.' I said 'it's not got anything to do with me...I don't even like the guy' and she said she 'couldnt give a ****'. She's actually been in my room once Derek brought her back and seemed nice then when. Then as I was walking off I heard her say '20 past 7 your doors getting kicked in' Then she was on the phone giving someone or pretending to give somene a description of me!! And Derek and the guy upstaris had just been telling me the room I've just left was in a 'rough as ****' part of town!!!! Now that's a ****in' irony!!

Oh yeah and i've moved back into my old room.



See previous post. I won't bore you with what happend.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Derek shouted me today from inside his room as I was going out to get something to eat. No idea what he wanted but when I got back he had his door open like he did before when he was getting drunk and going round the house socialising despite it being patently obvious none of us want to socailise with each other. He was laid on his bed but didn't say anything as I went in my room neither did he say anything went I went down the landing to the toilet and when I went again later he'd got his door shut so hopefully he'll realise he's just going to have to be sad lonely on his own. ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Well I've finally come face to face with Becky the prositute Derek brought back before we swapped rooms...the one who occaisionally shouts up at my window obviously still thinking he's still in this room. He's been trying to avoid her but somehow she got in the house last night and knocked on the door. When I answered I recognised her as the one I've always thought of the most pleasant and healthy looking...the one that looks least like a prosstitute and the one I least expected it to be from what Derek told me about her.Derek told me when she came back she'd just started takiing money off his table. He said he could have stopped her but didn't. He's also 'leant' her about £70. A/w he's been trying to get away from her for months and now she's tracked him down so all you Derek fans can stick that in yer pipe! ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

NE one want to go to that festival thing near the school for the blind just get in touch with Derek. He's got some spare tickets. He offered them me but I turned my nose up at them...partly because I'm not interested in some poxy festival thing but primarly because he's a **** and I hate his ****in' guts!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

I've been banned from chatroulette because inappropriate content has been broadcast from my ip address. I don't know if it's some kinda mistake on their part but I've never done any thing weird on there. I've only been on it once before and had a chat with some guy in Sweeden and a guy in India. in fact before we fell out Derek let slip he had been connected to my phone's hotspot. The guy upstairs is called Andy and he thought that Android was somekinda pun Andy had set up as his ip address!!! I told him no. That's my phone. One of the things I'm really happy about with getting rid of my old laptop is I couldn't figure out how to access it once I'd put a password on my phone's wifi hotspot which meant anyone could acess it and obviously did. I even went to the shop to ask them after I fell out with Derek to make sure he couldn't access it. A/w it's got a password on it now so if he has been accessing it and been flashing his prick at people on chatroulette then he isn't going to be doing it again!!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

It's just got a whole lot more...interesting. To become unbanned I've got to click on 500 sexual explicit or suggestive stills which I have to find among an ever recurring selection of random stils that Chatroullet generate!!! It's like playing a game of spot the bleeding weirdo's penis! It even monitors your accuracy level to stop you just clicking on anythiing willy nilly, no pun intended and warns you if your accuracy level drops below 98% then it resets. My accuracy level is now 57%. It's just gone down from 60% because I clicked on a still of a guy grabbing his crotch but obviously it ddidn't count as inapropriate enough! Jesus ****in' Christ!

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

That's all there is to it. A few nights ago he came home and just shouted in the hallway to no one inparticular, or probably for my benefit, 'up the workers!'. That was it. I think he was trying to get at me 'cause I don't have a job. He didn't even know if I was in or not! I think he might have been pissed off 'cause I'd gone to the toilet in the middle of the night and he's a very light sleeper and is 'one of those that can't get back to sleep'. This was before I curtailed our friendship. He even wanted me to 'get a bucket' to piss in so I didn't wake him up by walking down the landing with the creaking floorboards and then flush the toilet. I told him it wasn't going to happen then he told me, he was drunk, that 'cause I'm not from this town and he and the landlord are he could get the landlord to throw me out just 'cause Derek wanted him too! I just looked at him and pulled a face as if to say 'what ****in' planet are you on?'.

Originally Posted by Flyingpig437

Can tell winter's on it's way now. I've got my window open still but it's starting to be noticable that it's getting colder. I'm glad I'm not in that other room with the 2 drafty windows directly across the room from each other with the bed directly in between them anymore. I wonder who is? Oh yes! It's Derek! There's no way that he'll last the winter in that room. Watch this space!! When he goes not only will i have the satisfaction of getting rid of the **** but I'll have the added satisfaction that it was my craftyness in swapping rooms that finally got rid of him. He actually asked me if a draft blew through from those windows in winter and I bull****ted him. At the time were talking about him moving into the 'bigger room' or as I secretly called it the 'colder room'. ha ha ha I wonder why he wanted to move. It was either 'cause of the noise from upstairs flat which isn't noisy but he's a very light sleeper so it might have affected him or the freezer buzzing all day and all night long. A problem I solved by not actually using it. I think it was that 'cause he asked me about it not long after we'd swapped rooms. Also the tap drips in there too!

Yup, more to come.