Dear O,

Spit, properly applied with ones fingers, is all anyone should ever need.

Office Space reference inferred.

Chula

Dear Chula,

You offended me by speaking Swedish. I'm crying now.

Count Grishnackh

Dear C*nt,

Ooops, slip. Count.

Let's get back to spit and the essential role it plays in all things foreplay.

Lubed for life.

Chula

Dear Chula,

I am 33 years old, independent, successful and not a stress in the world and I'm completely comfortable (and happy) with the fact that I am unmarried and have no children. I hear all the time people complaining about their lives and how they wish they'd followed their dreams and about all the trouble maintaining a family is, which they promptly follow with "but it's still worth it". Such a cognitive dissonance seems irrational to me. But I naturally assume that it's a basic matter of "I wish I had done A, but I'm OK with having done B".

I respect the wisdom of my elders and I take it to heart in making decisions, however, one decision I can only make on my own and without the direction of others is how I want to live my life. With that said, there's always the nagging worry of getting to the end of my life having realized I've made the wrong decisions.

What advice would you give relating to how to understand priorities in context with how they might become important or non-important near the end of a long-lived life, keeping in mind the varied nature of human personalities?

*waves off Chula*

I got this one bro.

...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I concur, and will add:

"You know it's going to get harder
Harder, harder as you get older
And in the end you'll pack up, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man, all alone and dying of cancer"

Dear Chula,

How do I stop prevent my detachable penis from falling into the wrong hands?

Sincerely,
King Missle

Dear King Missile,

http://images.travelpod.com/tripwow/...02aw-19443.jpg

Optically inclined,

Chula

Dear Chula,

I'm learning how to drive, but I can't get a handle on parking. Even in a parking lot with no cars and no pressure, I can't park without driving through the lines (so that if cars had been next to my space, they would have been all scratched up). Got any tips?

Sincerely,
Suzy Creamcheese

Dear Suzy,

Stay away from parking lots.

And my car.

Fender bendered,

Chula