Plankton

A retort:

Dear Chula,

The people that will be there are more partial to Hendrix. Should I put a cross on the roof, and play the dual role of Varg and Jimi, since the place is old, and the house (read church after I put the cross on the roof) will most likely burst into flames?

Combustibly,

Guitarded.

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See location...

Chula Vista

Dear Guitarded,

I just put Varg and Jimi in a blender and what came out was a firebombed living and dining room set. It's up to you how to choose to disseminate this information.

Fired up,
Chula

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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Isbjørn

Dear Chula,

Got any general advice on how I can improve my guitar playing?

Sincerely,
Moi

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Plankton

Dear Chula,

I couldn't get the term "Firebombed" out of my head on my way to Belize, and am now stuck in an airport security holding cell along with 2 other dudes with neck beards. Do I make friends, or like totally ignore them?

PS: One of them smells like a goat.

Incarceratedly,

NotPickingUpTheSoapJustYet.

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See location...

Chula Vista

Dear Moi,

I know it sounds like a tired old cliche but it's 100% true.

You can't tuna fish but you can tune a piano.

REO,
Chula

Dear NPUTSJY,

Just keep saying this over and over again:

La hawla wala quwata illa billah.

Fire's out,
Chula

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Isbjørn

Dear Chula,

Some dude on the internet gave me an REO Speedwagon reference as advice, but I don't know how to utilize it. Can you help?

Aslan

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Chula Vista

Dear Aslan,

No.

Practice makes perfect,
Chula

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

DwnWthVwls

Dear Chula,

How much is too much?

Sincerely,
Cum Everywhere

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I don't got a god complex, you got a simple god...

Plankton

Dear Chula,

I took your advise. I have no idea what it means but I kept saying it over and over, like you said. I am now blind folded and being taken somewhere in the back of some kind of military vehicle. I know this because the engine sounds exactly like a deuce and a half like the ones we used in the Army, and I occasionally hear the squawk of some type of two-way radio. How can I inform my friends that I don't think I'll be able to make the party on Saturday?

TellMyDaughterI'llWrite,

WhereTheFuckAmIGoing.

Sent to you from my Tracfone I had up my butt.

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See location...

Isbjørn

Dear Chula,

Some dude on the internet called me a Nazi. Should I send him to a concentration camp, or would that give people the wrong idea?

Sincerely,
Not Alan

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