Tease.

"When's the last time this ****ing place was cleaned?"

Potential arguments for the day n followin week. I prepare myself for them much like a warrior n that's why I've yet to be bested in any argument

Don't wanna be caught with your dick in your hand, huh?

Bob saaaaad :(

I contemplate how I'd defend myself from would be shower rapists. Always crosses my mind. Always ends in a satisfying conclusion.

Then I think about how long it's been since my last shower... and scrub harder.

Kinda weird that you think about this in the shower.

I'm terrified of Dave Navarro attacking me with a butcher knife while I'm washing my balls.

Hire Slash to keep guard..
If Dave approaches Slash would confront him in a guitar duel and beat him AND you'll hear the whole thing from your shower.

I usually just sing without thinking. Or think without singing. Or both. Or then I solemnly recite quotations of Oscar Wilde or some latin phrases so I'm ready to use them when a bit of pomposity is needed. Some English sayings in the middle of my usual talking are very effective and indeed do sound pretty wise....