post the last text message you received
 

I can smell what the Rock is cooking - burgers!

"Aye"

The bodies are taken care of, you should run some bleach through your garbage disposal.

"Bored, procrastinating on some school work. Wishing i had you here to pet and cuddle and rest my feet on"

^__^

'gym?'

will watch motd later :)

"I'll try to think of something."

"Sorry u don't have enough credit to send a txt message. Top up now so u can get texting!"

'hey'

"What are you up to tonight Jess?"

"Yay" - my sister.

'you are very hung and charming. you have rocked my world with your sexual prowess and intensity. your charisma sweeps me off my feet and you are very extremely hilarious and also very hung. please dont tell the other members of the forum because i dont want anyone to know about how very attractive and erotic and girthy i find you'

"Roger rabbit"

"Sooo shopvac and a coat hanger. Problem solved"

This is a very good thread idea

"holy f ucking mad men, don has a threesome and ginsburg goes crazy!"

:) - My boyfriend after I sent him a sexy picture of myself

Not gonna bother to type it all out, but I just received the lyrics to "Rock Lobster"

I f ucking love my weird ass friends.

"I need you to stop drinking at work."

Who the **** narcd

Looking through my text messages... I realize my shroom tripping texts may be more absurd than my drunk texts. Saturday was an interesting evening. I have no idea who Sam is but s/he was pretty involved. Wish I heard back with some of these...

"Guys, just a reminder, we're working from home again today."

Not a frowny face given.
(Office building power went out, so I slept from home)

"Where's the damn bhiryani?"

"are you crying? Please don't cry"

"Subject: UT Alert. The Tornado Warning has been lifted for campus. Continue to monitor local media and the National Weather Service for furt"

No texts since Sunday.

I'd text u boo idk if I can text the UK, I know I can text Canada at least since one of my boy toys lives there

:)!

And we could extend it to Facebook messages but that may get a little awks.

Lmao no way could I publicly post my Facebook messages, I am a thirsty ass **** talker

Almost all my Facebook messages are either "yooo I hate this bitch" or "ugh I wanna climb him like a ****ing tree"

"saw u at the gym yesterday."

I have people creeping on me at the gym now, I guess.

that's out in the public though.

If they said they saw you getting un-dressed yesterday morning and thought you shouldn't wear those colored boxers then you should be concerned.

Was it from someone you know or what? if it was a number you don't know that would be super creepy

Nah it was from a friend that I haven't seen in a few months. I guess we go to the same gym now.

No otter pops though :/

Get in, only a few days after the event but still. A text.

"Did you get kicked out of J2 man?"

I did, I think.

"Gracias Mi amor" (Thanks my love)

it's a response from my ex from me wishing her a happy B-day, she turns 25 today.

"7ish if go lives Brutal"

Pretty sure it's a typo.... still not sure what was meant.

"Luv you!"

t-t-thanks mom

"this baby is sucking the life out of me! i need a drink sooooooo bad."

From my sister, she's 4 months pregnant and over it already.

So glad I am not a woman.

Lol, I asked her if she planned on breastfeeding and she was all "F uck no, I'm not giving up booze for a year!' On one hand that's probably sh1tty of her to say but on the other it made me laugh pretty freaking hard.