http://37.media.tumblr.com/c4d33a1bb...vo88o1_500.jpg

This is the only Facebook message I feel comfortable posting LMAO this not my screen cap but my **** talking is unparalleled

That is seriously the funniest burn I have ever seen.


:clap:

"In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit. These are their stories"

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially anus.

Holy sh!t, you have no idea how hard that made me laugh. I feel like getting ****faced with you would be crazy fun.

It is, but I can't take credit for that one haha. Came across it googling SVU memes once.

"I think your cat is bulimic"

'just wanna say thanks for the dirty pic u sent me in my musicbanter.com inbox it was very arousing n i now contemplate leavin my bf. All i wanna do is touch ur rock hard chiseled abs and that woyld be enough to cause orgasm and you are also eneearing n funny with above average charisma"

Franco's really stepped up his grammar.

ikr?


and flopped big time on his spelling

my last text says "be my daddy chad" lmao

"You Rock!"

It's a reply from one of our sales reps about a job I recently completed.

I bet you're not even that jacked. You're such a narcissist.

"Your records are here, who the f uck is Flipper?"

"Sara found a noise drummer"

"Surprise me :)"

That is truly sad

"So we will be in tears?"

I'm through with depo provera, guess whos getting a vasectomy?

Ouchie.

Okay, that's actually hilarious.

Eh its a ten minute procedure, and its been a long time coming. Heh

humanity is saved!!!!!!!

Did you get tubal ligation? :finger:

nah I have no children so no doctor would ever

Still waiting on those maternal instincts to kick in? Sure your babies would be pretty awesome, but you never can tell.

"Haha I had the catholic chaplain in my office when you sent that"

:rofl:

@fred

nope I already have em, two successfully spoiled fur babies and most of my friends call me mom. I just think it's weird tubal litigation won't be done if you don't have children, as if we are incubators

Always found it strange also. I believe a persons body is their to do as they wish with. I just got another text.

A urologists #. I'm scared, I don't want my junk to swell. LOL

My last text message reads:

"RATTTATATATATATAT TAAAAAHHHHH BRRRRRR UMP PUM PUM PUM PAHHHH GZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT".

It is my roommate's impression of the Hannibal soundtrack.

So no mini Freds running around? Would we want that anyways?

I love it. :)

'this is the united states secret service and we want to know why u are smugglin and anaconda in ur pants this close to the white house, please txt back immediately or u will be subject to a search of ur pants by our new hire who is a very sexy woman with an insatiable sex drive who also has an oral fixation. thanks'

You are social commentary at its finest, and I applaud you consistently, you ****ing genius.

Yet doctors will give vasectomies to men with hardly any hesitation or questioning. Double standards abound.

'Can you get me a ride? Mine passed out'

"Sorry mine did too."

"drink more then you pussy!"

Vasectomies are done more often because they're a lot cheaper and easier to do, and they're more easily reversible.

http://i.imgur.com/1uQQsOG.jpg
:laughing: but why u mad tho. like, ****in stay mad.

Wow Sansa - I can't believe you Jeff'd him over. Low.

I totally did Jeff him over and I would again honestly