^Holy hell how has that not been done in my life?

"Here's the link to the paedo site you asked for. Enjoy."

Dad we are out of milk.

"I haven't shaved my legs in 4 months"

From one of my dirty hippie friends. Good god.

Hawt

"Of course you aren't psycho! By the way it's me, Bill Cosby. Kill your family. Kill them all."

"What time are you coming over?"

From a number I don't recognize. I'm trying to think of something witty but I'm drawing a blank.

l
 

you know it


my last text says "how's my baby been"

I ****in hate answering this question and am not in the mood for the sexting that follows so I prob won't answer till tomorrow

:rofl:

I fucking love you.

you know what i mean tho? like ugh sexting takes so much energy out of me if I'm not in the mood

it's that feel when you get a new text and you look at it and it's like " I wanna feel your insides" and you're just like

[sighs internally]