Would you Change for someone?

Black Francis · 05-06-2014, 03:38 PM

As the title says, Would you change for a special someone?

By that i don't just mean a BF or GF but also friends, just somebody who is important to you but has a different set of values that may force you to compromise yours just to get along.

I ask this because i know not everybody is the same, some ppl are not willing to budge on anything, accept me for who i am or f*ck off but others know when to compromise for the sake of a greater good that will unite you both

What a person compromises or doesn't, depends on the person,
i for exmpl could give up smoking for a girl if i like her enough, or maybe not smoke around her out of respect and even wash my mouth just to kiss her, i can live with that small change.

However if she a stuck up non smoker who looks down smokers without showing any sympathy or budging an inch i would think twice about being with her and question her tolerance.

A better way of rephrasing this question is, What would change for someone or what would you never change for someone?

Cicatrice · 05-06-2014, 03:44 PM

I would change small things, such as bad habits, and such, yes. Major personality changes though? Probably not. Aside from working on my somewhat quick at times temper.

I've been in a relationship for a year and a half with my current girlfriend, and I've made small changes throughout the relationship, and so has she. And I've worked on the aforementioned temper issues; And have gotten much better control over it now.

Honestly though, I find myself wanting to change these things that I see in myself to make myself better for her. Personality wise, I am the same person I was before we started dating, though.

As for changing for someone I'm not in a relationship with, I'm not sure. I guess if I smoked I could be respectable and not smoke around people, yes. When I'm around people who don't cuss, I try to not cuss, and so forth.

Paul Smeenus · 05-06-2014, 03:46 PM

Changing for a "special someone" fits securely into the "things I will never have to worry about" column.

~~hate paper doll~~ · 05-06-2014, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicatrice

I would change small things, such as bad habits, and such, yes. Major personality changes though? Probably not. Aside from working on my somewhat quick at times temper.

I've been in a relationship for a year and a half with my current girlfriend, and I've made small changes throughout the relationship, and so has she. And I've worked on the aforementioned temper issues; And have gotten much better control over it now.

Honestly though, I find myself wanting to change these things that I see in myself to make myself better for her. Personality wise, I am the same person I was before we started dating, though.

As for changing for someone I'm not in a relationship with, I'm not sure. I guess if I smoked I could be respectable and not smoke around people, yes. When I'm around people who don't cuss, I try to not cuss, and so forth.

Pretty much this. There's always room for improvement and if I was doing something that hurt a person I love, I'd change it. There are certain aspects of my personality I can't change. My deeply ingrained values and beliefs will probably never change. However, I'd do what I could to be as respectful to someone as possible in those instances.

Carpe Mortem · 05-06-2014, 04:00 PM

Small changes are necessary to make relationships work, platonic or romantic. It's really about picking your battles.

People who let themselves be changed too much end up resentful or just plain unhappy. And people who refuse to change for anyone end up lonely because nobody's ****in perfect.

Cicatrice · 05-06-2014, 04:02 PM

Sabbath anyone?

Black Francis · 05-06-2014, 04:04 PM

@Cicatrice

You know what is good? even if you leave that relationship that compromise stays with you, somewhere along the lines you recognise it makes you a better person and it stays with you.

I haven't many relationships but the ones i had teached me alot.

One thing i can't change is my sense of humour,
If a girl doesn't get mine and i don't get hers i highly doubt it's gonna work out between us.

Same with friends, i can a handle a different kind of humour if interacts well with mine, but i can't handle one that negates it.

FRED HALE SR. · 05-06-2014, 04:08 PM

**** no.

~~hate paper doll~~ · 05-06-2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem

Small changes are necessary to make relationships work, platonic or romantic. It's really about picking your battles.

People who let themselves be changed too much end up resentful or just plain unhappy. And people who refuse to change for anyone end up lonely because nobody's ****in perfect.

Picking your battles, exactly! I try to tell my boyfriend all the time that sometimes you just have to let things go. Arguing and debating come naturally to him so he clings to an argument thinking that if he just repeats his point by point analysis over and over I'll eventually succumb to his superior logic. The concept of agreeing to disagree is completely foreign to him and it frequently drives me crazy.

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 05-06-2014, 04:46 PM

had an argument with a girlfriend once about this. we both wanted each other to change. i started changin little thing bout me. my routine changed and i didnt mind at all to be honest. but the thing was that i asked her to change too. so one night after raucous exhausting sex in which i pleasured her immensely to the brink of nearly passing out, i knew we had to have a talk about these changes i was making and the ones she wasnt.

i said i see no changes, wake up in the morning and i ask myself
is this relationship worth havin or should i free myself
im tired of bein mad and even worse im sad
my stomach hurts so im lookin for some pepto bismol

05-06-2014, 03:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Black Francis Out of Place Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in an abstract house Posts: 4,111	Would you Change for someone? As the title says, Would you change for a special someone? By that i don't just mean a BF or GF but also friends, just somebody who is important to you but has a different set of values that may force you to compromise yours just to get along. I ask this because i know not everybody is the same, some ppl are not willing to budge on anything, accept me for who i am or fck off but others know when to compromise for the sake of a greater good that will unite you both What a person compromises or doesn't, depends on the person, i for exmpl could give up smoking for a girl if i like her enough, or maybe not smoke around her out of respect and even wash my mouth just to kiss her, i can live with that small change. However if she a stuck up non smoker who looks down smokers without showing any sympathy or budging an inch i would think twice about being with her and question her tolerance. A better way of rephrasing this question is, What would change for someone or what would you never change for someone? __________________ "Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

05-06-2014, 03:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cicatrice Writing my own disaster Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: I'm waiting for the sun to shine Posts: 173	I would change small things, such as bad habits, and such, yes. Major personality changes though? Probably not. Aside from working on my somewhat quick at times temper. I've been in a relationship for a year and a half with my current girlfriend, and I've made small changes throughout the relationship, and so has she. And I've worked on the aforementioned temper issues; And have gotten much better control over it now. Honestly though, I find myself wanting to change these things that I see in myself to make myself better for her. Personality wise, I am the same person I was before we started dating, though. As for changing for someone I'm not in a relationship with, I'm not sure. I guess if I smoked I could be respectable and not smoke around people, yes. When I'm around people who don't cuss, I try to not cuss, and so forth. __________________ If you're in the middle of the ocean with no flippers and no life preserver and you hear a helicopter, this is music. You have to adjust to your needs at the moment. -- Tom Waits My Last.fm

05-06-2014, 04:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
Carpe Mortem Crusher of tiny Nords Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water Posts: 1,363	Small changes are necessary to make relationships work, platonic or romantic. It's really about picking your battles. People who let themselves be changed too much end up resentful or just plain unhappy. And people who refuse to change for anyone end up lonely because nobody's **in perfect. __________________ [SIG][/SIG] Mirth is King** Be Loving & Open With My Emotions

05-06-2014, 04:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cicatrice Writing my own disaster Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: I'm waiting for the sun to shine Posts: 173	Sabbath anyone? __________________ If you're in the middle of the ocean with no flippers and no life preserver and you hear a helicopter, this is music. You have to adjust to your needs at the moment. -- Tom Waits My Last.fm

05-06-2014, 04:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Black Francis Out of Place Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in an abstract house Posts: 4,111	@Cicatrice You know what is good? even if you leave that relationship that compromise stays with you, somewhere along the lines you recognise it makes you a better person and it stays with you. I haven't many relationships but the ones i had teached me alot. One thing i can't change is my sense of humour, If a girl doesn't get mine and i don't get hers i highly doubt it's gonna work out between us. Same with friends, i can a handle a different kind of humour if interacts well with mine, but i can't handle one that negates it. __________________ "Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

05-06-2014, 04:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
FRED HALE SR. Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: So-Cal Posts: 3,752	**** no. __________________ " I slashed and burned thru my 15 minutes of fame."

05-06-2014, 04:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
~~butthead aka 216~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: freely swimmin thru the waters of glory much like a majestic bald eagle soars thru the skies Posts: 1,463	had an argument with a girlfriend once about this. we both wanted each other to change. i started changin little thing bout me. my routine changed and i didnt mind at all to be honest. but the thing was that i asked her to change too. so one night after raucous exhausting sex in which i pleasured her immensely to the brink of nearly passing out, i knew we had to have a talk about these changes i was making and the ones she wasnt. i said i see no changes, wake up in the morning and i ask myself is this relationship worth havin or should i free myself im tired of bein mad and even worse im sad my stomach hurts so im lookin for some pepto bismol