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View Poll Results: Are you a dog or cat person? | |||
Dog | 14 | 34.15% | |
Cat | 27 | 65.85% | |
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll |
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11-08-2018, 11:40 AM | #131 (permalink) |
Ask me how!
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: The States
Posts: 5,354
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Sphinx: What stands on two legs in the morning, yet crawls on all fours in the evening?
Me: Uh... I don't know. A baby just learning to walk? Sphinx: No, your mom OHHHHHHHHHHH *high-fives a chimera* Me: Damn it, Sphinx!
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---------------------- |---Mic's Albums---| ---------------------- ----------------------------- |---Deafbox Industries---| ----------------------------- |
11-08-2018, 11:45 AM | #132 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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Riddler: What walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, then 3 legs?
Doctor: The answer is man. We crawl on four legs as babies, then learn to walk upright, then as elders we use a cane. Riddler: Close, but the answer to all three is a baby. It crawls around on four legs, but if you cut off it's legs it'll squirm around on two. Then, if you give it a crutch, it can hobble around on three. Doctor: That's horrible! How can you even joke about something like that? Riddler: Easy... It's not my baby...
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11-08-2018, 12:02 PM | #133 (permalink) |
Ask me how!
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: The States
Posts: 5,354
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Sphinx: What strikes from above, yet hits from below?
Riddler: Hmm... *snaps his fingers* Got it! Flight attendants going on strike while on an airplane flying over Australia. Sphinx: No. Riddler: Oh. Then, uh... maybe a platoon of guerilla soldiers? Sphinx: No. Riddler: Well, ****. I give up. What is it? *springing from out of the darkness above, a jagged shape strikes sparks as it hits the metal flooring, before ricocheting up into The Riddler's balls* *a figure glides down gracefully from the catwalk* Batman, retrieving the Batarang and slipping on a pair of shades, even though it's already night: Me. *high-fives the Sphinx* Riddler: lol... *passes out*
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---------------------- |---Mic's Albums---| ---------------------- ----------------------------- |---Deafbox Industries---| ----------------------------- |
11-08-2018, 12:11 PM | #135 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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We're emotionally distant loners. We like dogs but they're too ****ing clingy.
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11-08-2018, 12:15 PM | #137 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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Dogs are great but I'm not emotionally available enough to have one on my own.
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11-08-2018, 01:18 PM | #139 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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That thing dogs do when they're about to start barking but haven't riled themselves up enough and so they go, "boof", is ****ing adorable.
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11-08-2018, 06:41 PM | #140 (permalink) |
SOPHIE FOREVER
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East of the Southern North American West
Posts: 35,541
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My dog does that when he's not supposed to bark but he's gotta.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
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