As a former Saint Bernard owner this hits home.

It tickles me when people think that St. Bernards are big dogs. Like have you even seen an English mastiff? Ignoramuses.

I've never seen one.

They're like 20 pounds heavier on average at the biggest. And yes as a giant dog owner with a need for bragging rights I know this. Mastiffs #1, Saint Bernards #2. But Saint Bernards are fuzzier with more adorable coloring so they win.

At the shoulder they come up to your waist and can drag you along on a leash if they want to no matter what leverage you use to hold them still. They're goofy mini-cows who can look you in the face if they stand on their hind legs. If you own one the idea that a Golden Retriever is supposed to be officially considered a "large" dog becomes humorous.

You might as well have a Chihuahua.

You've clearly never had a Saint Bernard greet you at the door by bowling you over and giving you shin bruises with their wagging tails.

You are just WEAK

And Saint Bernards lean. They walk over to you, panting with love, and then lean on you waiting to be pet and you just slowly tip over.

They sound big.

Not many people have big dogs here.

Staffs are the common dog.

Everyone has a Staff.