Who wants a game of chess?
 

http://lichess.org/PqlxIvJK
5 min.

Easy win, I've gone to rust.
I'll wait awhile...

I so thoroughly suck at chess that I shouldn't even be allowed to try to play. I am an embarrassment to the entire thought process.

I have smashed (Hulk style) many a keyboard playing online chess. With too much coffee in me.
Just, don't play above your 'rating' and even then, ****ers will intentionally lose to lower rated players,
just to 'sandbag' it and beat the holy living hell out of people, then talk smack.

Interested yet? ;)

Dude I am in, I am awful but I am stubborn as the day is long.
Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for you this is not an irl game! I play dirty... I mean really dirty.... You feel that? That's me mind ****ing you....Oh and that? That's just the feeling of you liking it.... MUWAHAHAHAHA! No seriously I am in.....

i'd be in if i were a reliable human being, but that is still under scrutiny in court

Gotta be quick, I only watch this link for about 10 mins. My attention span.
http://lichess.org/470VJw3y
5 min. Chess.

Pft, I played in the joint. Mindgame me? Haha. If I wanted to do that, I would let you believe you were in charge.
Not warn you up front.

EDIT:
7:40 I'll be playing someone else, or...you post a link, and if I'm here, I'll play you...like a $2 ukelele. :)
6 mins left, maybe this forum is too slow for this type of thing? hm

That's awesome cause I will have ridden you like a $2.00 whore on nickle night before you even got around to it, and you''l have begged for more! So, if you are around when I get off work...:bringit:!

I'll rather sell you to another cellie for a cig.
http://lichess.org/JTntxqyX

Damn, an you so cute with them panties.
Of course, everyone talks smack, when they dont click the link.


I'm not even that good, peoples.
Easy win! And. I'm a gentleman. brought up on ...German standard of decorum.






EDIT:
Click the ****ing link, it won't kill you.

*click*

I made the first move, but I don't think I'll be able to do much more than that until later.

Just moved.

There's no time limit on this one, eh?

Okay.