Be careful what you say, even on the internet; destroyed relationship

Paul Smeenus · 01-28-2014, 09:49 PM

Tubegalore will get tubes from all of those. Not that I would know.

Neapolitan · 01-28-2014, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xLizardx

I think it's less that you posted an opinion on the internet than that you allowed anger to cloud your judgement and posted an opinion which was not truly representative of your own beliefs. However, at the same time, if your girlfriend can't see past your mistake after you've explained and apologised, then perhaps it's better that things finish anyway. You can't make someone forgive you, and without an element of mutual forgiveness, you really cannot have a relationship.

I am curious as to what the original argument was about, however.

I think he said it was a re-enactment of the Scopes Monkey Trial on the interwebz.

YorkeDaddy · 01-29-2014, 02:45 PM

motherless.com is where you go if youre in the mood for some freakyness

not that i would know

actually yes i would

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 01-29-2014, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

motherless.com is where you go if youre in the mood for some freakyness

not that i would know

actually yes i would

More like crappy webcam vids an girls of questionable age

**Goofle** · 01-29-2014, 02:58 PM

nudevista or bust.

YorkeDaddy · 01-29-2014, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butthead aka 216

More like crappy webcam vids an girls of questionable age

sometimes in life you gotta just take a deep breath and dive into a situation, digging through all the undesirable crap until you find the golden compass of your dreams

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofle11

nudevista or bust.

generally i do both when i go to nudevista

ba dum tish

slappyjenkins · 01-31-2014, 06:10 PM

Thank you guys for your opinions. I wanted to wait a couple of days before responding. Hopefully my response will answer some of the questions and paint a more clear picture.
-------
re: urban hate monger - This thread isn't so much 'watch what you say on the internet' it's more 'don't stay with a woman who's prepared to make your life such a misery over something extremely trivial'
It's ironic that you'd be the first one to post something directly about my topic. As you had me in a very agitated mode at the time with wanting to have an argument with me on something we agreed about Jimi Hendrix. But thank you for the response anyway. When you love someone and you want everything that the future can offer sometimes you stick around and see if there will be understanding and forgiveness. I do think that I was misunderstood and punished for far too long because of what I agree is a very very VERY trivial thing.
----------
re Nic671 - If you were arguing for creationism, then it's somewhat understandable why she'd be against you. Evolution is considered a scientific fact, and religion isn't. Some people can't stand when people don't accept facts. Oh I understand why anyone would be against any idea if it doesn't match your own. BUT I was raised American where we died and continue to die for the freedom to say and believe whatever we want, as long as we are not hurting or controlling anyone else. If I want to believe Unicorns on the moon are running everything with Commodore 64 super computers then I am supposed to be allowed that right....ridiculous belief not withstanding.
----------
re Neopolitan - Slappy, here's how you should handle the problem:

A. If you were a creationist and she was an evolutionist tell her that your opinion "evolved" and now leans more towards Evolution. If the other way around tell her you came to "believe" in her side. Kiss and make up, if this fails then: I really had thought of doing just that, but that would be a LIE. Well it actually wouldn't be a complete lie, but it would be going against what I said just to get her off my back and make her stop punishing me for it...I feel if she can't do that on her own because she believes I have a right to say and think what I want, then any other way of resolution has no merit. I have not once tried to control what she thinks. She's free to believe whatever she believes. Everyone is. And so am I. And I do deserve forgiveness and a chance to go on with my life.

B. Go to e-harmony and find someone who is more compatible with your beliefs. ehhh...no And whether or not you accomplish A & B or both, don't forget to:

C. Pray she doesn't read this thread... it's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. I wanted to know what other people from this site thought about it. But this is true and wise advise.

Good luck! Jenkins thank you for the response
-------
re: TUNA - Putting it as delicately as I can: you need to grow some balls OP and have more self-respect. Take pride in your beliefs and individuality, don't let anybody else relentlessly hound you for them (and don't respond by crying). People respect those who respect themselves, first and foremost. You're hypersensitive, I even sensed it in you when you were a poster here; and your psycho control freak of a girlfriend is feeding off that mental power she has over you. Also ironic that you would post a response so directly related to my topic. Thanks for the response. My sensitivity at the time came from many factors. My father had recently died. I had a terrible time being around my mother again after so many years of not co-existing around her. I was not used to being in a relationship with someone anymore as I had been basically on my own for a while. The site itself had me extremely agitated with seeing how it's members treated each other. I was even invited to get into an argument with a MOD over something we agreed on. And part of my personality is to respond to what is being given to me. And it was pure aggression at the time and so I WAS a bit aggressive. But I knew that, and once I saw it manifesting itself, I chose to leave the site and not interact with people of that nature. So I'm sorry for my 'sensitive' way of being while I was a regular poster on this site. I had a lot going on that was very unresolved in my life and was dealing with negativity and conflict very well. But that was over a year ago.

Drop her and go get yourself a backbone, if it takes therapy then do it. No one's life should fall apart from a harmless ****ing creationism debate on a message board.
A lot of people have the attitude of just drop it all and move on. I was hoping not to do that. Although I've been pushed a couple of times to the edge. I really do love this person and wanted something more permanent (for the long run). I was hoping we would come to an understanding over our issues and move on from this point in a united fashion, understanding each other and forgiving each other. But sometimes it doesn't seem that is possible. It feels like there is a point of no return that can't be crossed.
------
re xLizardx - I think it's less that you posted an opinion on the internet than that you allowed anger to cloud your judgement and posted an opinion which was not truly representative of your own beliefs. I wasn't angry I was actually trying to lend a helping hand. The OP actually said my response was very uplifting and thought provoking. It was AFTER another person came in calling me name and really putting me down that I admit I became every defensive and was standing my ground no matter what. However, at the same time, if your girlfriend can't see past your mistake after you've explained and apologised, then perhaps it's better that things finish anyway. You can't make someone forgive you, and without an element of mutual forgiveness, you really cannot have a relationship. I DID apologize. I talked about this issue long before she did, before she even acted like there was a problem with it. I said that I was sorry I behaved that way and it was best for me to stop posting on that particular site. I thought that was sufficient to move on with the endless other things I want to do with my life.

I am curious as to what the original argument was about, however. Atheism vs Religion which then turned into Creationism vs Evolution
------

slappyjenkins · 01-31-2014, 06:21 PM

Also I was told by my significant other that my post was all about Evolution and was informed about how wrong I was on the topic....but here are some other excerpts from my post that I thought got more to the heart of the points being made.

-------
Does this mean we should distance ourselves from very religious people? Or from agnostics or atheists? This is NOT my belief. This is intolerance. And intolerance always leads to suspicion and hate. I believe we should drop our guard a bit and not be so defensive and try to see all view points. Only then do you learn anything new about those around you, and ultimately about yourself.
-------
no one should attack you or convert you or make you feel like less of a person for what you believe. I'll tell you honestly I believe in God. But that should never make me attack you for what you believe.
----------
We all have the right to believe what we believe. In the end our belief does not change the facts.

If we believe in god and theres no God, our belief had no bearing on that fact.
If we do NOT believe in god and there IS a GOD, our belief had no bearing on that fact.

SO believe what you want to believe! We should still love each other and try to share information and thoughts and ideas without attacking each other like a pack of wolves.
------

^^ironic words, yes?

djchameleon · 02-01-2014, 10:09 AM

Just putting this out there.

Irony:
1: a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other’s false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony
2: a) the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning
b) a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony
c) an ironic expression or utterance
3: a) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result; an event or result marked by such incongruity
b) incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called also dramatic irony, tragic irony

slappyjenkins · 02-01-2014, 01:39 PM

I said we should NOT attack each other like a pack of wolves and that's what everyone does on this site. I thought that was what I was going for?

Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneía), meaning "dissimulation, feigned ignorance"[1]), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event characterized by an incongruity, or contrast, between what the expectations of a situation are and what is really the case,

The American Heritage Dictionary's secondary meaning for irony: "incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs"

On this aspect, the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) has also:
A condition of affairs or events of a character opposite to what was, or might naturally be, expected; a contradictory outcome of events as if in mockery of the promise and fitness of things. (In French ironie du sort.)[8]

Thank you for your input. I see a lot of people on here like to correct other people. I am not sure what it is about this site that breeds or encourages this kind of person, but a lot is starting to make sense.

EDIT: OH, it's even in your own response....
3: a) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result; an event or result marked by such incongruity

So, I'm not really sure what you were 'just throwing out there'?

01-31-2014, 06:10 PM	#37 (permalink)
slappyjenkins Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 214	thanks for the replies Thank you guys for your opinions. I wanted to wait a couple of days before responding. Hopefully my response will answer some of the questions and paint a more clear picture. ------- re: urban hate monger - This thread isn't so much 'watch what you say on the internet' it's more 'don't stay with a woman who's prepared to make your life such a misery over something extremely trivial' It's ironic that you'd be the first one to post something directly about my topic. As you had me in a very agitated mode at the time with wanting to have an argument with me on something we agreed about Jimi Hendrix. But thank you for the response anyway. When you love someone and you want everything that the future can offer sometimes you stick around and see if there will be understanding and forgiveness. I do think that I was misunderstood and punished for far too long because of what I agree is a very very VERY trivial thing. ---------- re Nic671 - If you were arguing for creationism, then it's somewhat understandable why she'd be against you. Evolution is considered a scientific fact, and religion isn't. Some people can't stand when people don't accept facts. Oh I understand why anyone would be against any idea if it doesn't match your own. BUT I was raised American where we died and continue to die for the freedom to say and believe whatever we want, as long as we are not hurting or controlling anyone else. If I want to believe Unicorns on the moon are running everything with Commodore 64 super computers then I am supposed to be allowed that right....ridiculous belief not withstanding. ---------- re Neopolitan - Slappy, here's how you should handle the problem: A. If you were a creationist and she was an evolutionist tell her that your opinion "evolved" and now leans more towards Evolution. If the other way around tell her you came to "believe" in her side. Kiss and make up, if this fails then: I really had thought of doing just that, but that would be a LIE. Well it actually wouldn't be a complete lie, but it would be going against what I said just to get her off my back and make her stop punishing me for it...I feel if she can't do that on her own because she believes I have a right to say and think what I want, then any other way of resolution has no merit. I have not once tried to control what she thinks. She's free to believe whatever she believes. Everyone is. And so am I. And I do deserve forgiveness and a chance to go on with my life. B. Go to e-harmony and find someone who is more compatible with your beliefs. ehhh...no And whether or not you accomplish A & B or both, don't forget to: C. Pray she doesn't read this thread... it's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. I wanted to know what other people from this site thought about it. But this is true and wise advise. Good luck! Jenkins thank you for the response ------- re: TUNA - Putting it as delicately as I can: you need to grow some balls OP and have more self-respect. Take pride in your beliefs and individuality, don't let anybody else relentlessly hound you for them (and don't respond by crying). People respect those who respect themselves, first and foremost. You're hypersensitive, I even sensed it in you when you were a poster here; and your psycho control freak of a girlfriend is feeding off that mental power she has over you. Also ironic that you would post a response so directly related to my topic. Thanks for the response. My sensitivity at the time came from many factors. My father had recently died. I had a terrible time being around my mother again after so many years of not co-existing around her. I was not used to being in a relationship with someone anymore as I had been basically on my own for a while. The site itself had me extremely agitated with seeing how it's members treated each other. I was even invited to get into an argument with a MOD over something we agreed on. And part of my personality is to respond to what is being given to me. And it was pure aggression at the time and so I WAS a bit aggressive. But I knew that, and once I saw it manifesting itself, I chose to leave the site and not interact with people of that nature. So I'm sorry for my 'sensitive' way of being while I was a regular poster on this site. I had a lot going on that was very unresolved in my life and was dealing with negativity and conflict very well. But that was over a year ago. Drop her and go get yourself a backbone, if it takes therapy then do it. No one's life should fall apart from a harmless ****ing creationism debate on a message board. A lot of people have the attitude of just drop it all and move on. I was hoping not to do that. Although I've been pushed a couple of times to the edge. I really do love this person and wanted something more permanent (for the long run). I was hoping we would come to an understanding over our issues and move on from this point in a united fashion, understanding each other and forgiving each other. But sometimes it doesn't seem that is possible. It feels like there is a point of no return that can't be crossed. ------ re xLizardx - I think it's less that you posted an opinion on the internet than that you allowed anger to cloud your judgement and posted an opinion which was not truly representative of your own beliefs. I wasn't angry I was actually trying to lend a helping hand. The OP actually said my response was very uplifting and thought provoking. It was AFTER another person came in calling me name and really putting me down that I admit I became every defensive and was standing my ground no matter what. However, at the same time, if your girlfriend can't see past your mistake after you've explained and apologised, then perhaps it's better that things finish anyway. You can't make someone forgive you, and without an element of mutual forgiveness, you really cannot have a relationship. I DID apologize. I talked about this issue long before she did, before she even acted like there was a problem with it. I said that I was sorry I behaved that way and it was best for me to stop posting on that particular site. I thought that was sufficient to move on with the endless other things I want to do with my life. I am curious as to what the original argument was about, however. Atheism vs Religion which then turned into Creationism vs Evolution ------ __________________ I was once told...True intimacy is finding out what the other person wants and needs and if it's within your power giving it to them.

01-31-2014, 06:21 PM	#38 (permalink)
slappyjenkins Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 214	Also I was told by my significant other that my post was all about Evolution and was informed about how wrong I was on the topic....but here are some other excerpts from my post that I thought got more to the heart of the points being made. ------- Does this mean we should distance ourselves from very religious people? Or from agnostics or atheists? This is NOT my belief. This is intolerance. And intolerance always leads to suspicion and hate. I believe we should drop our guard a bit and not be so defensive and try to see all view points. Only then do you learn anything new about those around you, and ultimately about yourself. ------- no one should attack you or convert you or make you feel like less of a person for what you believe. I'll tell you honestly I believe in God. But that should never make me attack you for what you believe. ---------- We all have the right to believe what we believe. In the end our belief does not change the facts. If we believe in god and theres no God, our belief had no bearing on that fact. If we do NOT believe in god and there IS a GOD, our belief had no bearing on that fact. SO believe what you want to believe! We should still love each other and try to share information and thoughts and ideas without attacking each other like a pack of wolves. ------ ^^ironic words, yes? __________________ I was once told...True intimacy is finding out what the other person wants and needs and if it's within your power giving it to them.

02-01-2014, 01:39 PM	#40 (permalink)
slappyjenkins Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 214	I said we should NOT attack each other like a pack of wolves and that's what everyone does on this site. I thought that was what I was going for? Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneía), meaning "dissimulation, feigned ignorance"[1]), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event characterized by an incongruity, or contrast, between what the expectations of a situation are and what is really the case, The American Heritage Dictionary's secondary meaning for irony: "incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs" On this aspect, the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) has also: A condition of affairs or events of a character opposite to what was, or might naturally be, expected; a contradictory outcome of events as if in mockery of the promise and fitness of things. (In French ironie du sort.)[8] Thank you for your input. I see a lot of people on here like to correct other people. I am not sure what it is about this site that breeds or encourages this kind of person, but a lot is starting to make sense. EDIT: OH, it's even in your own response.... 3: a) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result; an event or result marked by such incongruity So, I'm not really sure what you were 'just throwing out there'? __________________ I was once told...True intimacy is finding out what the other person wants and needs and if it's within your power giving it to them.