You could have gone for a pun there but no
My disappointment is immeasurable

The self-clowning wasn't enough for you?

Consider my high demands a sign of high esteem.

Consider my low accomplishments a sign of low esteem.

Tfw you have one blueberry left on the plate and you try to stab it with a fork and it jumps off the plate, on to the floor, and rolls under the fridge as you think to yourself: "I hope you have a good life under there buddy. Go now. Go and become penicillin".

I thought you were gonna feel: "I knew this wouldnt work, why havent I learned after the 100th time and just used my hands!"

I used to just snort em.

Blowberries?

Blewberries. Past tense.

Tfw the owner of the company's son comes into your office, looks at your computer screens and says: "It's weird that you know all this ****. You're ****ing weird".

Only stupid people think that, Junior.