Was actually thinking about the sour milk scene in the Burt Reynolds movie "The End".

TFW you have to put the acoustic guitar down and go to work, and your one-year-old son, who has been dancing to the music, cries.

:(

Dude, you live in Japan. Have him trained by a samurai to make him more badass.

TFW your "rebound cat" takes a giant runny **** next to the baseboards, so you have to actually remove the baseboard from the wall to clean behind it, then hammer it back into the wall with your shoes when your done... And then when you go looking for him, you find him snuggled up on your pillow and decide not to awaken him because, after all, he needs his rest after a dump like that one.

^ That's compassion. :)

TFW you're doing yard work and step in a giant pile of fresh, St. Bernard crap.

Pffffft. Sissy la la.

Have you ever stepped in a pile of St. Bernard crap? It's barely smaller than a cow pie. I was bending over to pick up pine needles to put into a yard bag and kept wondering why the stench kept hitting me in the face.

Pfffft. I EAT cow pies for breakfast. And then my intestines spin them into gold. When you think of the devaluation of our gold-backed currency, think of me mutha****a.