You're right. I'm ready for my punishment.

Hay! Motha****a! Im a wicked patriot.

Aren't you from Florida?

In other words: Viva Fidel!

That feel when you make an awesome mixtape, and are just happy to put it out there even if 1 or 2 people will listen to it.

tfw you bought the cutest Christmas cards but now you've gotta find 12 recipients you actually want to write a card for

(PM if you want one, for real)

http://media.tumblr.com/bc4062b26744...OUk1r80p9c.gif

Are they cuter than your cat sweater?

Nope, but they sure are cute!

This means absolutely nothing.

so you're sending all of them to me, right?

do you want one?

i mean not to be unreasonable or nothin but uh yeah


naw, just one would be most of the lovelies.

you're first on the list. :clap: hell yeah.

TFW you're not paying attention and you smash your toe/foot into the tub while swinging your leg over the edge. And it was pretty chilly this morning so my foot was cold and it took a couple of ticks for the pain to reach my brain.

TFW someone sends you a video of your friend shoving a flute up his ass.

TFW you're already working a decent job (or two...) But have multiple interviews lined up because you want a 9 to 5 with weekends off that pays amazing despite no schooling.

Damn I'm good. Ambition's a disease, baby, and I hope I never find a cure.

TFW the aroma of tacos is slowly wafting into your bedroom and your mouth starts watering.

I know the feels.

TFW your flatmate makes the best cake everrrrrr.

TFW one of your old haunts gets taken down. Cya osxhints :(

tfw you wake up with a cripply leg

Feels like polio, man

Cripply leg? Is that the medical term?

How does one get a cripply leg? I've fallen asleep on my arm before and woke up not even able to move it.. That's always a good time trying to shut off the alarm clock.

idk the science behind it but i think it has to do with obstructing the blood circulation on your limbs..

Survive for over a half a century and you'll start developing all sorts of cripply appendages. :p:

They have pills for that, you know?

Anti-aging pills??

And they work amazingly well. Side effects kinda suck a little (stuffy head, achy back, and heartburn).

EDIT: Actually, here's a PSA for all you younger guys that are eventually going to have to resort to these magic little tabs.

DO NOT!!!!!! eat anything spicy or that's prone to give you mild heartburn - you will suffer. I make sure to eat bland food for at least a day after taking one.

And it's best to take them in the morning so you can take advantage all day. Take one at night and you'll be sleeping on your back with a tent pole in your groin.

#fountianofyouthcock.

Nah, I was just limping for several hours with a miserable, piercing pain in my thigh.

TFW a random idea for some kind of bizarro porn pops into your head and you have to Google it. You don't even necessarily want to watch it, you just want to know if it exists.

And no, I could not find any elephant bestiality.

tfw your day is pissing you off and it's only 6 in the damn morning.

Special delivery for you. :love:

here's to having confidence that humanity is ****ed up enough in our priorities that by the time i'm in your position they'll have mastered always having a good sex drive without any side effects but people will still be dying from aids

wtf?

Well I mean it's not false. Regardless of your sex drive people will die from aids.

TFW you get a rude text message and beat the sender at their own game.
STRUT! ;)