I love how I was just all happy/relieved that I think the person I mentioned earlier is going to pull through (with much difficulty) and then WD's all screwed up and I'm sad all over again. That's just great.

:(

She's at home. She gets her walks before I go out, always. I uh... snorted some oxys that night. Kinda forgot that pills+booze=don't need as much booze. I blacked out before my favorite band even showed up but apparently it got pretty crazy in the pit. idk. They took me in back after their set and all I can remember is begging them for heroin... working as much as I have lately kinda messes with my mind and for whatever reason I have had a really ****ing hard time with keeping that **** off my mind because now, if I could actually find some decent ****, I can afford it. It sucks. It's like either A) I work just enough to get by and stress out about money or B) I work my ass off to have enough money to live comfortably but then hafta deal with temptations n ****. IDK why but the past two weeks have been absurdly hard for me, it was only a matter of time before I caved.

Damn it, everyone I know is going off the deep end lately.

I'm fine, heh :). I just overcompensated and got reckless.

You need to take care of yourself so you can come get wasted in Seattle one day!

Not to be blunt, but what happens to the pup if you accidentally die from your stress relieving hobbies? Have you picked someone to take care of her/him?

Dude, back in my mid 20s I was working 60 hours weeks to support my wife and kid. Deal with it.

It's no excuse to gamble like you are doing.

My mom and her girlfriend will take her in if anything happens to me. They had to take her for a little while before last year after I had to go to the hospital. I'm not complaining about having to work, I'm happy to work. It's just that having money is hard for me because I'm apparently an addict now. It's on my mind every day and now I can afford it. It's less about stress relief and more of a self destructive streak that I've literally always had.

Well, I've only known e-known you for three months but I like you. Please take care of yourself and reach out to the folks here when needed. You're a good looking kid with a sharp wit and what seems to be a big heart. It would be terrible to throw that all away.

Cheers mate.

x2

But did you really get to meet FIDLAR?

I think so, yeah. They played a show here last year and I know I at least tried to make it. I honestly don't remember for sure. I hope to get to meet em later this month at their supposedly final show. Also thanks for being supportive guys, heh. I'm doing my bestt to make a better life for myself it's just gonna take a while and stuff like what happened last night are just going to happen... that's always been a part of me and it might always be.