Tfw your neighbour introduces you to his sexy daughter with some heavy 'it's cool if you hook up' vibes.

TFW you shovel six inches of wet, heavy snow out of your driveway singlehanded.

TFW you haven't slept very well at all in 3 days and it looks like you have a couple of saddlebags under your eyes.

AKA Nyquil withdrawal.

Tfw cut jalapeneos
don't wash hands
go to bathroom

...

I have made this mistake so many goddamn times and STILL I have yet to learn. It's all toasty down there :(

So did you scorch the dog or did you wipe? I've had wiping happen to me before with habeneros. Pain for months. Like I got butt****ed by Satan.

Oh lord. I cannot imagine the awfulness of a fiery butthole. No, just the elephant in the room fortunately.

I work in biotech so I always have tons of rubber gloves around. I won't make that mistake again!

So you work in Godzilla?

I prefer Godzirra

Hope you never pet your pups nose!!!