tfw your thai food delivery guy shows up and it's not the cute flirty one with the perfect eyebrows.

:(

also tfw you're looking around tryna figure out where the **** you put your last bite of eggroll and realize it's still in the sweet and sour sauce ramekin. derrrrr

also tfw you at first were gonna order brown rice instead but then changed it back to regular white rice because you're tryna save money but they send you brown rice anyways and when you check the receipt they didn't charge you extra for it. awwww yuhhhhhh

tfw you've had plenty of liquor but you're out of sedatives for the perfect ride

http://i.imgur.com/atCaFBA.gif

gonna have to remedy that by the end of the week.

tfw there are children screaming so hard outside your apartment complex that you'd almost think Gary Glitter was out there or something.

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/20...lz-d56se64.gif

TFW you're sitting back with a toothpick after enjoying a massive turkey dinner. Life ain't too bad.

TFW you're trying to sleep, but your brain is like "nah, let's have an insomnia party" so you stay awake exactly all night. I think I'm reaching the point of sleep deprivation soon.

****, googling "insomnia" was a bad idea. That whole "increased risk of heart disease" thing scares me ****less. Briks needs hugs.

Auntie Roxy has your back.Now go. get me my cigarettes and lighter,oh right and fix me another highball, 2 fingers. ....Last one was a little strong.

Sleep deprivation is fun, though. Best feeling ever. Who needs drug enhancements for music when you can just deprive yourself of sleep.

I cannot sleep until I'm so deprived that I'm on the edge of blacking out. Usually up around 20+ hours on the average before I get tired. That's when my real day begins.

tfw your ears are still ringing from the fucking noise you had to endure from some asshole toddler all night.

on the bright side it's reminded me that this year I should work on becoming sterilized so I have absolutely no chance on ever ending up with one of those terrible crotch-goblins.

Take something with Benadryl. Knock you right out. Or go raid an English village. Exercise is good for insomnia.

You listened to a child have sex all night? How much stamina can you have at that age?