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12-07-2014, 11:02 PM | #1241 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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TFW I've just jerked off about five seconds ago, and now I'm hungry. So, I put on my slacker pajama bottoms, and my Punisher shirt, cause that's how I roll, and I go out to the kitchen. Now, after a few seconds of browsing the cupboards (and deciding on some bombass Velveeta macaroni and cheese), I realize that I have just a touch of asthma. Usually, shaking hands with the governor isn't enough to give me respiratory problems, but I was doing some yard work earlier, and I guess I got some dirt or something in my throat and my lungs, which has now been disturbed from its rest. It's nothing too serious, but that, combined with the "recent exertion", is leaving me just a tad short of breath.
Here's my problem. In order to breath comfortably, I'm gonna have to start inhaling a bit harder, and I know it will be audible. And my mom sleeps right next to the kitchen. Without a door. There's absolutely zero chance that I'm gonna be able to start breathing hard without her hearing it. And there's absolutely no possible reason I can be breathing hard at 11:30 at night, unless I've been spanking the monkey. There's just no other explanation. And so I gasp for air in silence.
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12-08-2014, 12:01 AM | #1243 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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No regrets.
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12-08-2014, 01:32 AM | #1244 (permalink) |
Dude... What?
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,322
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tfw you're just minding your business, surfing the webs... listenin to some tunes. And your dog is just sitting next to you, staring at you with this expression like she hates you and are the stupidest mother****er she ever did see.
I love my dog and she loves me but she makes that expression sometimes and it's funniest damned thing.
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I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc |
12-08-2014, 10:04 AM | #1247 (permalink) | ||
Oracle
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Closer then you think.....
Posts: 4,365
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TFW,when you are hiding from the newest addition to your class because she thinks that just bc you smoke, you guys must be tight,
Seriously Im having a hard holding a conversation due to the 13 years life experiences I have on her,
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12-08-2014, 10:36 AM | #1248 (permalink) | ||
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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****. That.
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12-08-2014, 11:03 AM | #1249 (permalink) | |
Just Keep Swimming...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: See signature...
Posts: 7,765
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tfw, you get through the first 72 hrs.
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12-08-2014, 11:12 AM | #1250 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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