This is me except change the drunk to stoned.

And then I remembered how tiring work has been the last two weeks, so I still have a few years of irresponsible binge drinking ahead of me!

Are you Italian, Ki?

You know what I meant you smartass.

I think I strike the perfect balance between smartass and dumbass.

.

Was that a spoof of a TH joke?

I couldn't tell you. I am my own barometer.

TFW you're high as **** and you randomly develop a profound respect and appreciation for your thumbs for no good reason at all.

Sounds anal.

God I hope not.

TFW you discover that tonight is the start of Daylight Savings Time.


http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/up...berg-angry.gif

Like you're doing anything that it will make a difference..

I gotta get up at 4:30 in the morning for work tomorrow. Now I have to get up at 3:30. **** that.

Sucks for you. I'm off. I'm gonna sleep in and read.

And I'll respond to your PM maybe sometime next week, bitch.

tfw you sleep for 13 hours, im blaming the time change.

I slept until 1 today

**** all you honkies.

Wait, they have daylight savings in Canada?

Tfw daylight savings does nothing to solve the daylight gap.

Daylight Savings is in pretty much all parts of the world that aren't 3rd world ****holes as far as I know.

time is retarded

That feeling when.....
 

....... You nut for the first time
....... She qweefs
....... You rub the pussy and it is
....... You listen to a new song and it is straight TRAP
........ You go to McDonald's and the Mcflurry Machine is down
........ You take a shower and the water runs Cold
........ When she pissed because you get soft after you nut but she still aint nut
........ When you check your account and you spent more money than you thought

lol?

You don't belong here. Go back to twitter.

Im still trying to figure out the 3rd one.

I think it's like a Schrodinger's cat sort of thing.

TFW you masturbate so long and so vigorously that it becomes a workout with a happy ending.

lol

TWF you ate too much and you feel tired and a bit sick.

Isn't that the best?

One of my friends who I hadn't talked to in like a year messaged me out of the blue sayin he was gonna pick me up to hang out, then I got stoked. But slam! Back to never talking to me again. Like Tuesday, said they'd totally come.

Kids today and their heart shattering pranks

:( I'd hang out with you if you weren't on the other end of the damn country. Run away to North Carolina next time and we'll have a blast.

It's like, why even bring it up

My pals do wonders for my self esteem

idk man, people are *******s

This was funny as ****. I appreciated your joke.

That's your problem. Relying on other people and letting them dictate how you feel about yourself.

You keep calling these acquaintances friends for some strange reason.

Thank you!