Would have missed it! Am I lyin?

TFW you're laying in bed, freezing your balls off cause you're too lazy to get any more blankets... and then you remember that there's an electric blanket hanging up in your closet. And you almost weep.

Also, TFW you're pretty sure your electric blanket is giving you allergies, but you don't care, because your butt cheeks are now sweating, and it feels gooooood.

Only Colonels and pansies use electric blankets.

Colonels?

T.F.W. your indie musical muscles are flexing....

Those that like their luxuries in the army, while the soldiers have to put up with hardships like shivering with the cold.

You're British. Isn't nepotism and aristocratic self-absorption your national pastime?

You're American, isn't capitalism and patriotic self-absorption your national pastime?

Capitalism? Yes. Self-absorption? An art form. Patriotism? Don't be fooled by the NASCAR crowd; most people don't care anymore.

I'm not necessarily patriotic, but I find the whole deer-shootin flag-waving passionate red blooded American thing incredibly charming. I once met a Canadian like this and found it equally charming.