Beauty Life-Hacks

Queen Boo · 08-05-2013, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 216

i like your writing style tumor and although i dont have long beautiful hair or suffer from acne i was wonderin if this is a thread for u to give everyone tips on becoming beautiful or if others can give tips and if that includes tips for guys too

thanks

On becoming beautiful? Get plastic surgery, that's how I plan on becoming beautiful. I wouldn't suggest trying that yourself.
But if you just want to take care of yourself then take vitamins, drink water, exercise, and cleanse and moisturize your skin every day. And if you do all this stuff for the rest of your life then Jesus will let you into heaven.

djchameleon · 08-05-2013, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

IF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY WANT SOFT SKIN, YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF ONE OF THESE.

MOTHERFUCKING DRY BRUSH. WHAT'S IT DO? GETS RID OF YOUR NASTY ASS DEAD SKIN CELLS. FEEL YOUR SKIN. IS IT SOFTER THAN BAMBI'S BUTTCRACK? I DIDN'T THINK SO. GET A DRY BRUSH!!!
HOW DO YOU USE IT? MAN, Y'ALL ARE SLOW BUT I'M FEELING GENEROUS TODAY SO I'LL TELL YOU. FIRST TAKE YOURSELF A SHOWER. GET ALL CLEAN AND SHIT. GET YOUR SKIN SOPPIN' WET.

WHEN THAT'S DONE, TAKE THE BRUSH AND RUB IT OVER YOUR SKIN. YEAH IT HURTS BUT DON'T BE NO PUSSY. BRUSH IT OVER YA TOES ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR NOSE AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN. NOW DON'T LET YOUR BRUSH GET NASTY. IF YOU WANT SOFT SKIN YOU GOTTA DO THIS OFTEN BUT YOU DON'T WANT A GRODY TOEJAM BRUSH ALL CLOGGED UP WITH YOUR DEAD SKIN. RINSE THE THING OFF ONCE IN A WHILE!
WARNING: HAVING SOFT, GORGEOUS SKIN WILL MAKE YOU SEXY AS FUCK AND YOU WILL PROBABLY RECEIVE A CORNUCOPIA OF DICK AND/OR PUSSY IMMEDIATELY.

While that was a funny read with the tone/language you used. You are giving out bad info on that one. The best way to get rid of dead skin is to do the dry brush rub before you get into the shower. If you do it while in the shower, your pores open up because of all of the moisture. Do the scrub before hopping into the shower. The only time when it's more beneficial to have the skin wet is with your feet and depending on how much dead skin you have built up on it. With your feet you SHOULD soak first then rub that skin off with one of those stones. I can't think of the name at the moment. Pumice stone? maybe.

Burning Down · 08-05-2013, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

IF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY WANT SOFT SKIN, YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF ONE OF THESE.

MOTHERFUCKING DRY BRUSH. WHAT'S IT DO? GETS RID OF YOUR NASTY ASS DEAD SKIN CELLS. FEEL YOUR SKIN. IS IT SOFTER THAN BAMBI'S BUTTCRACK? I DIDN'T THINK SO. GET A DRY BRUSH!!!
HOW DO YOU USE IT? MAN, Y'ALL ARE SLOW BUT I'M FEELING GENEROUS TODAY SO I'LL TELL YOU. FIRST TAKE YOURSELF A SHOWER. GET ALL CLEAN AND SHIT. GET YOUR SKIN SOPPIN' WET.

WHEN THAT'S DONE, TAKE THE BRUSH AND RUB IT OVER YOUR SKIN. YEAH IT HURTS BUT DON'T BE NO PUSSY. BRUSH IT OVER YA TOES ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR NOSE AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN. NOW DON'T LET YOUR BRUSH GET NASTY. IF YOU WANT SOFT SKIN YOU GOTTA DO THIS OFTEN BUT YOU DON'T WANT A GRODY TOEJAM BRUSH ALL CLOGGED UP WITH YOUR DEAD SKIN. RINSE THE THING OFF ONCE IN A WHILE!
WARNING: HAVING SOFT, GORGEOUS SKIN WILL MAKE YOU SEXY AS FUCK AND YOU WILL PROBABLY RECEIVE A CORNUCOPIA OF DICK AND/OR PUSSY IMMEDIATELY.

I totally read this entire post in the voice of that guy who did the Old Spice commercials

And lol, cornucopia of dick.

Funkmaster Red · 08-06-2013, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

On becoming beautiful? Get plastic surgery, that's how I plan on becoming beautiful. I wouldn't suggest trying that yourself.
But if you just want to take care of yourself then take vitamins, drink water, exercise, and cleanse and moisturize your skin every day. And if you do all this stuff for the rest of your life then Jesus will let you into heaven.

Now that's some good advice but what's with the 15's at tha end??

Queen Boo · 08-06-2013, 03:33 PM

One thing that I would suggest men look into is plucking your eyebrows. You look so much more polished with nice eyebrows. Ask a girl that cares about you to do it. In my travels, I've found that most men can't do it themselves for some reason. Perhaps they're just too dense.

FRED HALE SR. · 08-06-2013, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

One thing that I would suggest men look into is plucking your eyebrows. You look so much more polished with nice eyebrows. Ask a girl that cares about you to do it. In my travels, I've found that most men can't do it themselves for some reason. Perhaps they're just too dense.

Good God, don't do it guys. Metrosexual is no way to go through life.

Dayvan Cowboy · 08-06-2013, 06:04 PM

I could totally give advice on how to will your hair to be curlier than it normally is (naturally, at least) if anyone's interested

Stephen · 08-06-2013, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

One thing that I would suggest men look into is plucking your eyebrows. You look so much more polished with nice eyebrows. Ask a girl that cares about you to do it. In my travels, I've found that most men can't do it themselves for some reason. Perhaps they're just too dense.

What's wrong with my eyebrows?

djchameleon · 08-06-2013, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen

What's wrong with my eyebrows?

Not a damn thing, she just likes pretty boy metrosexuals and ummmm...plucking your eyebrows is a bit much.

gunnels · 08-06-2013, 09:10 PM

I'd only advocate plucking your brows to ensure that you indeed have two, and not one (like me

). Of course it's all personal taste, so if you think that NBA dude or metro eyebrows are sexy go for it.

08-06-2013, 06:04 PM	#37 (permalink)
Dayvan Cowboy Basscadet Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Antarctica Posts: 1,258	I could totally give advice on how to will your hair to be curlier than it normally is (naturally, at least) if anyone's interested