Ziggy's open letter to record labels.

ZiggyStardust · 06-20-2013, 02:26 PM

Because, you know, formal letters are just too dull.

Hello, I’m Catherine Warr. Let’s cut the introductory crap and go straight to the point of why you’re reading this; you are an evil corporate businessman/woman and you want to see whether I’m a good investment and will make you lots of money. The answer is probably no as you are not an evil, corporate, money swindling music scout who will transform me into some cheap, mass produced pop icon. I think.

Correct?

Let’s get down to it. I’ve been playing guitar now for well over two years and I have a moderately good repertoire of classic rock covers from around 1960-1999. I’m mainly a lead guitarist/soloist although I am prepared to play rhythm/backing. I can’t sing (unless, of course, you want a Yoko Ono-esque song) nor do I intend to unless absolutely necessary. (I am, however, able to sing a monotone.)

I am able to write songs although most of them are still under development (I’m a perfectionist, you see, everything has to be perfect). I can work in a team although I’m more suited as the leader rather than the bottom feeder who is dictated what notes and chords to play and so on and so forth.
And now comes the clincher; the all-important, make-it-or-break-it demands. I shall release no more than two albums a year, so if I have to churn out a lot it will preferably be every six months or so. Each album will have fourteen songs, seven originals and seven covers. I want (and expect) complete creative control.

As for things money wise I am accepting no less than £50 for my work, although this minimum will have to increase as my popularity increases and demand for my music grows. Any raises/tips will be gladly received.
Time wise, that’s the difficult bit. I will have to juggle this between home life, studies and Game of Thrones, so I am expecting flexible hours (plus COMPLETE creative control over EVERYTHING I do.)

I hope this isn’t too over/underwhelming and I hope that I make you evil corporate businessmen happy.

P.S. I want a backing band like Bowie’s Spiders from Mars. Jus’ saying.

Rock ‘n’ Roll,

Catherine Warr

Mojo · 06-20-2013, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZiggyStardust

Time wise, that’s the difficult bit. I will have to juggle this between home life, studies and Game of Thrones
[/I]

Very good.

Trollheart · 06-20-2013, 08:16 PM

All very well and good, but how do you stand on the issue of people downloading your music? Eh? Eh? Miss Rock Star? Answer me that...

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 06-20-2013, 08:17 PM

CrazyVegn · 06-21-2013, 12:49 AM

Zig,
That's too many demands, GF

06-20-2013, 02:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
ZiggyStardust Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Mars Posts: 108	Ziggy's open letter to record labels. Because, you know, formal letters are just too dull. Hello, I’m Catherine Warr. Let’s cut the introductory crap and go straight to the point of why you’re reading this; you are an evil corporate businessman/woman and you want to see whether I’m a good investment and will make you lots of money. The answer is probably no as you are not an evil, corporate, money swindling music scout who will transform me into some cheap, mass produced pop icon. I think. Correct? Let’s get down to it. I’ve been playing guitar now for well over two years and I have a moderately good repertoire of classic rock covers from around 1960-1999. I’m mainly a lead guitarist/soloist although I am prepared to play rhythm/backing. I can’t sing (unless, of course, you want a Yoko Ono-esque song) nor do I intend to unless absolutely necessary. (I am, however, able to sing a monotone.) I am able to write songs although most of them are still under development (I’m a perfectionist, you see, everything has to be perfect). I can work in a team although I’m more suited as the leader rather than the bottom feeder who is dictated what notes and chords to play and so on and so forth. And now comes the clincher; the all-important, make-it-or-break-it demands. I shall release no more than two albums a year, so if I have to churn out a lot it will preferably be every six months or so. Each album will have fourteen songs, seven originals and seven covers. I want (and expect) complete creative control. As for things money wise I am accepting no less than £50 for my work, although this minimum will have to increase as my popularity increases and demand for my music grows. Any raises/tips will be gladly received. Time wise, that’s the difficult bit. I will have to juggle this between home life, studies and Game of Thrones, so I am expecting flexible hours (plus COMPLETE creative control over EVERYTHING I do.) I hope this isn’t too over/underwhelming and I hope that I make you evil corporate businessmen happy. P.S. I want a backing band like Bowie’s Spiders from Mars. Jus’ saying. Rock ‘n’ Roll, Catherine Warr __________________ Welcome to the internet, where opinions are like toilets; everyone thinks theirs are perfect but the public ones stink.

06-20-2013, 08:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	All very well and good, but how do you stand on the issue of people downloading your music? Eh? Eh? Miss Rock Star? Answer me that... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-20-2013, 08:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
~~Sansa Stark~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Eyrie, Vale of Arryn, Westeros Posts: 3,234

06-21-2013, 12:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
CrazyVegn Left due to ban epidemic Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 498	Zig, That's too many demands, GF