When someone you love likes music you hate

katsy · 05-12-2013, 08:28 PM

When Someone You Love Likes Music You Hate, What Do You Do? : All Songs Considered : NPR

I hate a good bit of my spouse's music. I dislike 80s rock/metal. He likes it. He has a weird devotion to KISS. I loathe most of it.

I like Vampire Weekend--the same devotion applies here. He hates it. We have found some happy mediums, but no sh*t, for awhile it would turn into intense debates.

Basically, we viewed our music as extensions of ourselves. Say, my hair is VW. He says, "I don't even have to try to not like this. It just comes naturally." Now, I would get greatly offended. In turn, my comments on four clowns parading around in make-up, he took personally.

Anyone else have a problem like in the above mentioned article?

Maybe it doesn't even apply to someone you love. If anyone heavily criticizes your taste in music, do you become offended? People line up to hate on some of my favorites, but it doesn't change my opinion of the hater or the band.

Dayvan Cowboy · 05-12-2013, 08:35 PM

he doesn't like prog. Not even King Crimson! I don't like his nostalgia band Nightmare Of You so it all balances out. most of the time we agree with music though. Most of the time, if I listen to a record, he enjoys it, and has even gotten into music from me, like GY!BE. all in all I think differing tastes are an opportunity to grow. I wouldn't have developed an extreme interest in gaming if it wasn't for him!

ladyislingering · 05-12-2013, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayvan Cowboy

he doesn't like prog.

he isn't 'the one'.

I try to look for beauty in just about everything, especially if I haven't heard it before - for instance, the love of my life is incredibly partial to acoustic/indie sorts of music, and I find it difficult to listen to because it affects me too much - it isn't that I don't like it, it's just that I'm a little too sensitive so I tease him a little by joking that the artist barely has a pulse, or that I'm bored to death, but it's all good-natured teasing.

Honestly, I'm not able to be with someone whose musical taste clashes too much with mine. If I'm with someone who listens to music that I don't care for at all (for instance, a couple of my exes were into some really obnoxious crap from the 90s - Aqua, for example) it turns me off. It sounds shallow but a person's musical taste can really make or break my bond with them.

Spoiler for cutesy stuff, proceed at your own risk:

katsy · 05-12-2013, 09:13 PM

I would project my views/feelings onto my musical tastes. When they were attacked, the views/feelings were exacerbated. Psychological bs, I know, but true. Anyway, it wasn't about my or my partner's taste in music, it was about something else entirely and that was a nice(sarcasm) way to deal with it.

This isn't really the direction I think the article was going, but there you have it.

Freebase Dali · 05-12-2013, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katsy

I would project my views/feelings onto my musical tastes. When they were attacked, the views/feelings were exacerbated. Psychological bs, I know, but true. Anyway, it wasn't about my or my partner's taste in music, it was about something else entirely and that was a nice(sarcasm) way to deal with it.

This isn't really the direction I think the article was going, but there you have it.

Sorry. Removed my response. It was overly snarky and out of proportion.

katsy · 05-12-2013, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Sorry. Removed my response. It was overly snarky and out of proportion.

Oh, I didn't think so at all-- I like snarky

. I thought you had a valid point, and I didn't feel it was at all directed at me.

You're right. If someone's musical taste is the basis for your relationship, maybe you should re-evaluate.

Trollheart · 05-13-2013, 06:31 AM

What's that they say? Opposites attract? At least it provides some fuel for heated debates, with equally heated making-up afterwards!

Mind you, if you're wearing your hair in the style of a VolksWagen Beetle I think that might be grounds for divorce!

Urban Hat€monger ? · 05-13-2013, 06:44 AM

It's something thats never really bothered me before.

I've been with some women that have some Godawful taste in music, thankfully they made up for in other ways.

**Janszoon** · 05-13-2013, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

It's something thats never really bothered me before.

I've been with some women that have some Godawful taste in music, thankfully they made up for in other ways.

This. In fact, I don't think I've ever dated anyone who I had much in common with in terms of music.

RoxyRollah · 05-13-2013, 09:52 AM

I have indeed dated some one with alike tastes... and it lead to some very stimulating conversations and other things... and after him no one ever measured up... too bad he was a completely criminally insane piece of dog ****... to this day, we still exchange notes on music, because even years later we both have never found someone that fills the others musical shoes...

And as far as strangers go, don't talk to them, or take candy from them either...
No... I don't share my musical interests with them first... because I don't want to be musically rejected. But once they open up to me... I reciprocate...

05-12-2013, 08:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
katsy Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 286	When someone you love likes music you hate When Someone You Love Likes Music You Hate, What Do You Do? : All Songs Considered : NPR I hate a good bit of my spouse's music. I dislike 80s rock/metal. He likes it. He has a weird devotion to KISS. I loathe most of it. I like Vampire Weekend--the same devotion applies here. He hates it. We have found some happy mediums, but no sht, for awhile it would turn into intense debates. Basically, we viewed our music as extensions of ourselves. Say, my hair is VW. He says, "I don't even have to try to not like this. It just comes naturally." Now, I would get greatly offended. In turn, my comments on four clowns parading around in make-up, he took personally. Anyone else have a problem like in the above mentioned article? Maybe it doesn't even apply to someone you love. If anyone heavily criticizes your taste in music, do you become offended? People line up to hate on some of my favorites, but it doesn't change my opinion of the hater or the band. __________________ Split the Lark-- and you'll find the Music - Emily Dickinson*

05-12-2013, 09:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
katsy Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 286	I would project my views/feelings onto my musical tastes. When they were attacked, the views/feelings were exacerbated. Psychological bs, I know, but true. Anyway, it wasn't about my or my partner's taste in music, it was about something else entirely and that was a nice(sarcasm) way to deal with it. This isn't really the direction I think the article was going, but there you have it. __________________ Split the Lark-- and you'll find the Music - Emily Dickinson

05-13-2013, 06:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	What's that they say? Opposites attract? At least it provides some fuel for heated debates, with equally heated making-up afterwards! Mind you, if you're wearing your hair in the style of a VolksWagen Beetle I think that might be grounds for divorce! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

05-13-2013, 06:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	It's something thats never really bothered me before. I've been with some women that have some Godawful taste in music, thankfully they made up for in other ways. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

05-12-2013, 08:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dayvan Cowboy Basscadet Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Antarctica Posts: 1,258	he doesn't like prog. Not even King Crimson! I don't like his nostalgia band Nightmare Of You so it all balances out. most of the time we agree with music though. Most of the time, if I listen to a record, he enjoys it, and has even gotten into music from me, like GY!BE. all in all I think differing tastes are an opportunity to grow. I wouldn't have developed an extreme interest in gaming if it wasn't for him!