How well do you know your friends?

Ass Napkin Ed · 05-09-2013, 07:12 PM

^it means slang for scammed, but yeah that imagination slow it down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

It's funny that you bring up trolling.

You asked me to post what type of porn I watch (which has nothing to do w/ the thread) & then I called you a troll & now you're denying it & trying to turn the table, cute but I won't feed you again.

**Janszoon** · 05-09-2013, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ass napkin ed

^it means slang for scammed.

Sure. "Scammed". Say no more.

Freebase Dali · 05-09-2013, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ass napkin ed

^it means slang for scammed, but yeah that imagination slow it down.

You asked me to post what type of porn I watched & then I called you a troll & now you're denying it & trying to turn the table, cute but I won't feed you again.

You're not feeding me. You're feeding yourself, because I honestly can't believe you're as dull as you're making yourself out to be, especially not recognizing the parallel I drew in your logic.

But, as trolls do, they pretend not to understand, as you are doing.
Believe me, it's a compliment. Because the alternative is far worse.
But one gets you in trouble, and the other just lets you sit there in all your glory. You can figure out which is which. If you can't, then we'll just do that for ya.

Ass Napkin Ed · 05-09-2013, 07:43 PM

Yeah this is gonna be on my mind for a while.

ladyislingering · 05-09-2013, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ass napkin ed

I Just found out one of my close friends is gay

and he still hasn't told me. I found out through a college friend of ours through fb for god sakes, smh.

It's 2013 for god sakes, why do gay ppl insist on remaining in the closet?

I can't tell if that disturbed you, but if it did, dude, get a grip. It's difficult for people to "come out of the closet" because it's a really personal thing, and they're never quite sure how their friends/family will react.

People are becoming more accepting and open-minded, but there's still too many bigots out there. Personally, I don't see why people get so weird around people who don't identify as cissexual or straight. If it really concerns them, they're obviously not friends. Friendship is about unconditional acceptance, respect, admiration. If you don't like your friend for who they are based on something that has nothing to do with you, you've got to get your priorities straight, man.

However, if the day comes when he comes out to you personally, I hope you'll be accepting of him. That's the most important thing. Can you imagine losing everyone who matters to you for no reason other than "they don't agree with my sexuality"? It's a terrifying thing for those living quietly with their secret. Your kindness toward him should not change. When he finally decides to "come out", he's going to need his closest friends more than ever.

Spoiler for mini-rant:

Ass Napkin Ed · 05-09-2013, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

I can't tell if that disturbed you, but if it did, dude, get a grip. It's difficult for people to "come out of the closet" because it's a really personal thing, and they're never quite sure how their friends/family will react.

People are becoming more accepting and open-minded, but there's still too many bigots out there. Personally, I don't see why people get so weird around people who don't identify as cissexual or straight. If it really concerns them, they're obviously not friends. Friendship is about unconditional acceptance, respect, admiration. If you don't like your friend for who they are based on something that has nothing to do with you, you've got to get your priorities straight, man.

However, if the day comes when he comes out to you personally, I hope you'll be accepting of him. That's the most important thing. Can you imagine losing everyone who matters to you for no reason other than "they don't agree with my sexuality"? It's a terrifying thing for those living quietly with their secret. Your kindness toward him should not change. When he finally decides to "come out", he's going to need his closest friends more than ever.

Spoiler for mini-rant:

I am disturbed that someone could put so much effort into faking their sexuality just to feel excepted by me, especially since I have no problems w/ gay ppl so what was the ****ing point & as I said b4 he actually was already out, just not to me apparently.

Let me make this clear, I don't care if he's gay. I do care that he was pretending to be straight when hanging out w/ me, I care that what ever trust our friendship was based on was lie. So when I say that I can't be friends w/ him it's not the gay thing it's the lying & living a triple life thing, nothing more.

ladyislingering · 05-09-2013, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ass napkin ed

I am disturbed that someone could put so much effort into faking their sexuality just to feel excepted by me, especially since I have no problems w/ gay ppl so what was the ****ing point & as I said b4 he actually was already out, just not to me apparently.

Let me make this clear, I don't care if he's gay. I do care that he was pretending to be straight when hanging out w/ me, I care that what ever trust our friendship was based on was lie. So when I say that I can't be friends w/ him it's not the gay thing it's the lying & living a triple life thing, nothing more.

It's a bit narcissistic to think he's keeping it to himself just so you'll accept him. He just isn't ready, or maybe he doesn't trust you enough just yet. I'm sure he's not looking for your approval, he probably just isn't ready. How does someone "pretend" to be straight, exactly? Is he all like "YEEAHHHHH TITS!" or something? I don't really understand.

If you think your friendship with him is contingent on his sexuality or how he portrays himself, .... I'm just at a loss for words right now. Human sexuality/human psychology (in fact) is a pretty fluid concept. There are no definite answers to anything - there's not even singular "answers" for anything.

Your friend's just not ready yet. Maybe you're a little aggressive or intimidating in some way. Or maybe you should sit down and talk with him, and just tell him that you heard some stuff and you just want him to know that it's totally ok if he doesn't want to talk about it, and that you support and accept him no matter what.

Sometimes you just have to reach out. The longer you let it go, the more awkward it's going to get. But if you're not ready and he's not ready, maybe it's just good to chill out about it for a while. Or you could just let it go, because he's your friend.

Ass Napkin Ed · 05-09-2013, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

It's a bit narcissistic to think he's keeping it to himself just so you'll accept him. He just isn't ready, or maybe he doesn't trust you enough just yet. I'm sure he's not looking for your approval, he probably just isn't ready. How does someone "pretend" to be straight, exactly? Is he all like "YEEAHHHHH TITS!" or something? I don't really understand.

If you think your friendship with him is contingent on his sexuality or how he portrays himself, .... I'm just at a loss for words right now. Human sexuality/human psychology (in fact) is a pretty fluid concept. There are no definite answers to anything - there's not even singular "answers" for anything.

Your friend's just not ready yet. Maybe you're a little aggressive or intimidating in some way. Or maybe you should sit down and talk with him, and just tell him that you heard some stuff and you just want him to know that it's totally ok if he doesn't want to talk about it, and that you support and accept him no matter what.

Sometimes you just have to reach out. The longer you let it go, the more awkward it's going to get. But if you're not ready and he's not ready, maybe it's just good to chill out about it for a while. Or you could just let it go, because he's your friend.

So you don't call having sex w/ women when you've already come out of the closet to some friends pretending to be straight, b/c I do.

I don't care if he's gay so my approval or not he should be who he is.

I already reached out, he has literally gone into hiding so I left it alone & like I said as far as I'm concerned this "friendship" is void, I'm just surprised of how little I could know about someone that was such a close friend.

This thread isn't about me excepting him being gay, it's about how little it turns out I know about ppl I call my friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by P A N

so this has nothing to do with the fact that he didn't tell you. it has to do with him deciding to not advertise his sexuality. you should inform all your friends of this. you know, so it's not a secret.

No it's about me nothing who the hell I was friends w/ for several years

ladyislingering · 05-09-2013, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ass napkin ed

So you don't call having sex w/ women when you've already come out of the closet to some friends pretending to be straight, b/c I do.

I already reached out, he has literally gone into hiding so I left it alone & like I said as far as I'm concerned this "friendship" is void, I'm just surprised of how little I could know about someone that was such a close friend.

I can't explain that - I was once engaged to someone I knew was a little bi-curious but he chose to cheat on me with a male escort as a way of coming out of the closet. I was a little disappointed and confused as to why he would ask a woman to marry him if he was into dudes, and my feelings were a little hurt, but I didn't chastise him or anything. (Ok, so I got a little mad because he cheated, but now I see that I should have seen it coming!)

Oh, that's kind of a drag. Maybe he felt intimidated? He might come back around eventually. Or maybe he felt guilty for not telling you? There are so many possibilities, but only he knows what's going on in his head. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I'm also sure that he didn't mean any malice with his supposed deceit.

Just give it time. If he comes back around, that's fine. If not, that's ok too. Some people have different ways of coping with things (even things that others don't fully understand) and that's ok. Might as well give the guy some space; he seems pretty mixed up right now. Then again, what do I know? What does anyone know?

P A N · 05-09-2013, 08:28 PM

i think you - ASS NAPKIN - need to consider what friends are.

one day you're gonna realize that the dude you used to call your friend was never your friend, and it's solely because you lack the depth of understanding and compassion necessary to maintain long-lasting relationships.

it's completely selfish of you to be reacting to this the way that you are.

05-09-2013, 07:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ass Napkin Ed Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Nu Yuk Zity Posts: 57	Yeah this is gonna be on my mind for a while. __________________ I'll take the worst of Metallica, Kanye, Jay z, Journey & U2 over the "best" of Eminem, The Beatles, Nas and Elvis any day. It's simple math, genius at it's worst or trash at it's best.

05-09-2013, 08:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
P A N DO LIKE YOU. Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 629	i think you - ASS NAPKIN - need to consider what friends are. one day you're gonna realize that the dude you used to call your friend was never your friend, and it's solely because you lack the depth of understanding and compassion necessary to maintain long-lasting relationships. it's completely selfish of you to be reacting to this the way that you are.