How blunt should I be with people?
 

I had a long distance (internet) boyfriend who I grew to love, for I am bi. He was a very different person, who was all about individuality and keeping a good image but being different. He could be a pain if you couldn't accept other ideas, but he was still really cool. He would participate in forums with me. He basically gave me lessons on all that he knew and lived and how to be like him. He was more than just a boyfriend to me, he was like a role model. And the people on forums respected him for being different and standing up for himself, even though he was edgy. Whenever I try to act just like him though, people on the internet instead to me take it the wrong way and I get flamed. It's really controversial the way he was because a lot of things he was into, people might consider negative, such as him rejecting ideas the majority of people considers to be good advice, but I still want to live it... to live this way, to live the ways he has inspired me. I just feel a sense of... self... when I do.

Eventually he kind of dropped off the face of the entire internet. I do not know what happened to him. But I still want to like I said, "live it". So following these different ideas of his leads me to a different way of thinking, and that leads to real questions... when somebody says something the wrong way to me, should I let them know they are addressing me the wrong way given my personality, or should I just ignore them? I try to ask myself what he would do but I'm not always sure. Here is an example... someone says for example, "Life will get better. It always does." Should I ignore them in quiet or tell them like it is and say, "Thanks, but I don't follow sentiment."

Wtf.

You are really, a truly odd fella.

Well, don't be disheartened - he might had fallen off the face of the internet, but he landed safely somewhere in the real world. That is like the direct opposite of what happened in Dr. Who: "The Bells of Saint John" where people souls were being uploaded to the internet after they click some strange looking hyper-link, they died within 24 hours but then their minds, their souls got trapped on the Wi-Fi.

Maybe you were being too needy.

No wonder your 'role model' probably OD'd if he had you trying to emulate his forum posting style.

Was your internet bf Spider One? Did you wake up everyday and ask WWSOD?

No, Spider One is my music role model. The boyfriend was a different person and is my real life role model, and more a role model to me than Spider One.

And lol. "WWSOD"

Your "boyfriend" whom you've only know on the internet is your REAL LIFE role model? This is one of the weirdest threads I've ever read. Ever.

Well I mean, Spider One is kind of a fictional character built by a musician. I'd say he is probably less real life than the boyfriend.

And I'm rather weird. So long as I'm not offending anyone, expect all of my posts to be weird.

Oh, so you're countering my point of you saying your real life role model isn't real life at all by saying your other role model is just as if not more fake.

Gotcha. I don't understand a thing.

You aren't supposed to understand. Just chalk it up to him being weird and move on basically.

Either your boyfriend is you and you're trying to tell us all how great you are or you need to quit looking for "role models." Sounds more like you're looking for someone to tell you how to think. That's how Hitler and cults happen.

Fine. So both are likely fake. I give up.

I just try to be different. I don't even try to be normal anymore, I was clinically diagnosed as schizophrenic and I have grown to accept that. The problem is, there are many ways of being different. I have to choose one.

I can try to be normal, but in the profession I'm going into, music, it sometimes pays to be weird.

Anyway, I just started this thread to ask 2-3 questions.

What does that mean? You have to choose between being punk or goth? You have to choose between living in an abandoned church or living in a cave in the middle of a forest?

Pretty much, but not to the extreme of the last one. There is more I could tell you, but this forum just isn't ready for it. About religious experiences I had where God wanted me to act differently than you might think. Just about any way I wanted so long as it was different. Of course, it could have just been hallucinations, but who knows.

Why don't you just act like how you want to act? Trying to figure out how to act is just goofy.

I'm not a doctor, but part of my schizophrenia seems to be not really knowing myself.

So you're gonna try to know yourself by conforming to the ideas and standards of people who are not yourself? Again, that's how Hitler and cults happen.

First of all, keep in mind I posted this thread in the debate forum because I figured we would be discussing some real philosophical issues. It was moved, which I don't really care, but just to let people know.

Okay now for a philosophical issue. What is wrong with cults? Society considers them bad, which gives them a bad rap. But what is wrong with me practicing something that may be cultish, provided that it's not harming anyone?

I think maybe you should be alone more often.

Well, by "cult" I'm referring to some bogus religion invented by some manipulative sociopath to get your money.

If somebody doesn't see the problem with cults then that somebody is probably in a cult.

Fine. But nobody has asked me for my money so far.

So I'll step back and think about things. Maybe stop following the ideas of being like someone else, but I still want to be different. I'm not going to put a whole lot more effort into this thead because I figure it will get locked eventually, like my other one did. For the record, I really was and am having real problems with that video game, and it's not just me being stupid, like I was, or giving up easily.

I just find the whole notion of "I'm having problems with this hobby I've been doing for 13 years so I'm just going to be a rock star" really, really immature.

Okay. I'd like to address this. I was thinking about what I wanted to go to college for. First it was going to be game development. Then before I had these game development problems, I decided I wanted to be a musician and go to college for music. If anything set me over the edge in career choice and things like that, it was a broken heart from my last girlfriend, nothing to do with this boyfriend or these recent game development problems or anything like that. We were talking about getting married and then she dumped me. But there are other reasons for me wanting to get into music instead besides game development reminding me of some of the conversations about it I had with her. I have been a music fan for 10 years. And game development is just too hard and becoming that way.

Sit on my face.

Cults, including major religions which I still view as large cults, demote rational thinking and give people a warped view of reality. Even major world religions like Christianity and Islam cause more harm than good.

You are seriously my favourite person on her lately, your humour is insatiable.

Screw it if it is just the net, then tell em like it is brother... tell like it is in life too..what have you got to loose..?


wait don't answer that..

seriously... say what you mean, and mean what you say...

Oh good lord.

Why do you want to be "different"? If you're "different" then you're "different". If you're not then trying to be is just idiotic. You just sound like someone who is insecure about themselves so you're looking for some pre-manufactured philosophy/nonconformist trend/etc to jump into to make you feel better about yourself.

Dude, no one is going to lock your thread.

See there is a great example of telling people what you really think in person or not.. :clap: take note and try it I promise it will feel good to tell people what you really think...

Okay, here goes. Disclaimer: Speaking my mind ahead.

Okay. So a good question is, why do we believe what we do in the first place? Just seems to me like we choose to believe what society shares an opinion of or finds to be correct. It's like we would have to get out a history book and find where everything started. Trying to be different for the sake of being different tends to be considered a bad thing. Why?

I'll give an example while trying to keep it PG. There are certain things a person finds phsyically attractive about a mate, and society tends to share these opinions and agree on them. But many years ago, I'm pretty sure I have read that society found diffent things attractive about a person. I'd be part of the new society but why? What happened to change opinions?

It's unlikely that anyone has all of their ideas thought through, so they should stop acting like/pretending that they do.

To be different and not be able to change it is to be eccentric. To be different by a choice is rather stylish, in my opinion. That's how I see it.

Ohh you have made me proud...

now I feel like I should retort.. Being different for the sake of being different has another name and it is called...wait for it.... POSER only because you are either naturally different or you aren't in my opinion... It's like trying to hard to be cool... and I feel like cool is an acquired thing... the older you get the cooler you get... but hey what do I know... Being different to be different stylish no... Stylish is in the eye of the beholder as is beauty and as is ugly...

Exactly I mean how old are you?

Be honest Batlord, scleaves is your sock puppet in some weird virtual parody to go with your fight club avy?

If THAT'S true then I'm positively glacial. ;)

You're doing the same thing the "normal" people are doing. You're trying to find your identity by appealing to some arbitrary standard set down by some random asshat or set of asshats. Fooling yourself into thinking that you're any different than the normies just because only a minority of people subscribe to your chosen fashion trend is just self indulgent self delusion.

Okay...yeah at one point long hair was considered masculine and now it is considered feminine. It's pretty much arbitrary. Why exchange one set of arbitrary aesthetics for another set?

Stylish? According to whom? People who choose to judge others by an arbitrary set of aesthetics that have no inherent value? Why would you care about some goth's or punk's or whoever's opinions of you if you don't care about mainstream society's? That's just goofy.

No. I am Janszoon's sock puppet. I am ashamed of my secret love for Manowar and have created The Batlord in order to share it with the world without having to actually admit it.


Edit: The ****? I just read scleaves' sob story thread. How could I have missed such awesomeness? I didn't even get to post in a thread that somehow or other became about me. At least in a secondary kinda way.

Why would you wanna be like him? You ain't him. You're you. Happiness is pretty easy when you cease trying to become something other than what you are, when you become what nature made you. As others have alluded to, being different for the sake of being different is the same as following convention, because both make their decisions based on what others are doing. A rebel or a conformist - it's the same thing. True individuals are neither.