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04-24-2013, 07:37 AM | #131 (permalink) |
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Well, as far as I know the actual topic, not the hijacked one, is not only about women. Also if you read my post, I'm not actually voicing my opinion on anything other than the fact that people have different opinions. You act like all women voted you to be their ambassador and defender, did that actually happen ? Or are you just a vigilante, bringing justice where no one else dares ?
I don't have anything against women, I love women. I know they are perfectly capable of defending whatever they feel like defending without waging a holy war about it, without an online forum champion that will lead that crusade. If anything, the way I see it (see ? my opinion!) you're harming the case you're trying to make by making it about you, and throwing a fit about it. The world doesn't turn around you, the topic is not about you. There are topics on this forum that make me feel uncomfortable - I don't feel the urge to go there and tell everybody they are wrong and derail the thread. Does that make me weird? I'm sorry for the not so subtle mockery in some parts of my post, but this whole "not a fight" (I still don't know what we're having here, exactly ?) is bizarre, unnecessary and just silly. |
04-24-2013, 07:41 AM | #132 (permalink) | |
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But again, I know the whole thread is not about women, but I can only speak for my own experiences as a woman, and I am being agreed with, so that tells you something. Last edited by Sansa Stark; 04-24-2013 at 07:46 AM. |
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04-24-2013, 08:01 AM | #133 (permalink) |
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Well, you might not want to make it about you but that's how I read it (and I'm sure many other members too, though again it's only my opinion). Communicating through a medium limited to text only can be misleading, it is extremely easy to be misunderstood online - I know I have made my share of mistakes like that. Generally stopping before posting to check whether you're calm is a good way of eliminating most cases of your post being misread. Posting in anger, excitement, basically any strong or semi strong emotional state significantly increases the risk of miscommunication. And miscommunication is the single most frequent reason for conflicts.
Be more zen. Anyway, I am glad we can talk about this in a civil way, I was worried this discussion might escalate into something nasty and personal. |
04-24-2013, 08:22 AM | #134 (permalink) | |
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WHODA THUNK YALL |
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04-24-2013, 08:33 AM | #135 (permalink) |
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Yeah, I don't post here often outside of several specific threads, though I knew who I was engaging, your reputation precedes you
I assumed you were angry, just like you assumed I was a total dickbag, both assumptions were based on something, right ? Maybe if we assumed less and focused on looking for what we have in common instead of what differentiates us, we could actually be able to discuss important issues without it turning into a mess of personal remarks, goalpost shifts and strawman arguments ? It's a route internet discussions almost always take, which makes me sad as I view the regulars here as intelligent people, potentially simply better people than the random idiots that seem to be living online. |
04-24-2013, 08:44 AM | #136 (permalink) | |
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04-24-2013, 09:00 AM | #137 (permalink) |
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Ok, i will bite.
This is exactly what I meant about being a "champion" for an online crusade. You felt bad, you assumed every woman would interpret what was written the same way, so you began to fight in their name. Because like you say, it's not about you but about other people, right? You don't want them to feel in a specific way, because you assume they will. This is what this whole mess is based on imo, bad assumptions. Yes, bad, as in incorrect. I never claimed to know what women think, especially not all of them. Hell, I wouldn't risk assuming what men think as I know people differ. You took Vanillas personal opinion, took it out of context, turned it into an attack on all women and started to fight for "what is right". This is the strawman I was talking about, this is the vigilantism I was talking about. Removing some of the personal remarks, especially the juvenile name calling, could help a lot and I doubt it would remove any humanity or credibility, in fact I'd wager it would have an exactly opposite effect. |
04-24-2013, 09:05 AM | #138 (permalink) |
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I think that's why I was personally offended most. Being tall and just generally a little less feminine at times, I am offended that having some of the same interestsas Vanilla is considered to be less "girly." I play video games, watch scifi, hate romance, and so much more. I didnt want to be considered manly for that, I just want to be considered myself. If this had been the first time she mentioned this, I wouldn't have a problem, but on multiple occassions she says its weird or different having interests that are not stereotypically feminine. On the other hand, I think its awesome that she is proud of her interests, but not that she puts down women that do follow the stereotypes.
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04-24-2013, 09:06 AM | #139 (permalink) | |
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04-24-2013, 09:08 AM | #140 (permalink) | |
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