The Relationship Thread.

[MicShazam]

I know this girl named Dharma. You'd love her.

[The Batlord]

I don't know maybe a yelling jar, like a swear jar but for yelling. That sucks though. My mother has some lungs on her and when she was younger she wasn't the best with keeping herself under control, so I totally understand how it feels to just shut down, clam up, and think about nothing but seeking out the closest exit when I get yelled at. It's not something I can control and my only other real option sometimes is to be angry enough myself to shout louder.

[MicShazam]

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Adults who yell like angry babies are the worst. Life's too short to spend time having to deal with that kind of ****.

It's been my life strategy for years to avoid people and situations with tendencies like that.

[Oriphiel]

Yeah. They make working in service jobs the absolute worst. Nothing better than having everything screech to a halt for three hours because someone wants to return a bag of chips that they already opened and started eating, because they accidentally picked the wrong flavor.

[Zhanteimi]

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Adults who yell at angry babies are the worst

, too.

[The Batlord]

Shake them quietly ffs.

[Zhanteimi]

Shake them until they're quiet.

[Lisnaholic]

Originally Posted by WWWP

I feel embarrassed to bring this up but I have to get it off my chest - my bf yells at me and I f*cking hate it. It's not constant, and it's not belligerent, but he always raises his voice if we argue, and this morning he woke me up by yelling at me for not cleaning something up before I went to bed last night, then said "I'm leaving" and stormed out of the house before I could even react.

My parents were abusive to each other and me/my siblings, and there was constant yelling in the house. So when my bf raises his voice, I dissociate and completely shut down. I feel like an ******* for not standing up for myself but I just freeze up. Idk what to do. My bf knows all of this about me, and while I will raise my voice to match his sometimes, I never yell. I find it completely unattractive and childish and disrespectful.

My bf returned home after about an hour (I made breakfast for him while he was gone like some doting ****ing housewife) as if nothing happened and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. He feels that he was justified bc that's just how angry *I* made him.

I'm grossed out. He's an idiot.

^ I'm sorry to hear that you have a domestic problem like that, WWWP. If you've talked about it before and things haven't changed, that's an indication that things aren't going to change. I was once in a relationship that included a similar dynamic and I cleared out after reasoning it through like this:-
Love is like a plant that needs peace and occasional* watering to survive. My partner (like yours) was periodically ripping the whole plant out of the pot. Sure, you can pat it down afterwards and hope it won't die - but love is not going to flourish like that, and sooner or later those mistreated roots are going to shrivel up and die. Also, even if yr bf is not doing it with the calculated intention of intimidating you, that's a side effect of his behaviour already - witness the fact that you cooked breakfast to placate him. Who wants to play the role of timid partner, putting up with unfairness in hopes of preserving the peace? Not me, and I hope, not you WWWP. In short, this times two:-

Originally Posted by rostasi

You're young, attractive and you don't need bullshit like this in your life. Get out before you can't.

EDIT: * regular watering, 'cos that's the kind of guy I am: watering that plant twice a night, knowadahmeean?

[grindy]

That sucks, Steph.
My parents were yelling quite a lot when they were still married, so I developed a deep-seated aversion to raised voices. Even in movies it really stresses me out.
There's this type of comedy scene where everything is hectic and everyone is yelling things and it's really hard for me to find stuff like this funny because I'm just waiting for it to end.

Whatever you'll do about your problem, I hope it works out well for you. You shouldn't have to put up with this ****. Luckily I'm surrounded by calm, nice people nowadays and it's awesome and I wish everyone the same.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by grindy

That sucks, Steph.
My parents were yelling quite a lot when they were still married, so I developed a deep-seated aversion to raised voices. Even in movies it really stresses me out.
There's this type of comedy scene where everything is hectic and everyone is yelling things and it's really hard for me to find stuff like this funny because I'm just waiting for it to end.

Whatever you'll do about your problem, I hope it works out well for you. You shouldn't have to put up with this ****. Luckily I'm surrounded by calm, nice people nowadays and it's awesome and I wish everyone the same.

So we're your cycle of abuse?