Internet hookups

The Batlord · 04-04-2013, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

I was saying that I think it's important to know someone's sexual history before you sleep with them to know about any potential diseases, etc, if you're monogamous.

But we're not talking about monogamy. In monogamy there should be a presumption of intimacy that makes it acceptable to expect a certain amount of transparency in general and sexual history would just fall under that.

Quote:

If both of you are dating other people at the same time then it's important to let them know THAT, and you can just assume that they're sleeping around as well. And if the relationship is open like that, concerns about STD's, pregnancies, etc should be at the forefront.

But why shouldn't this include random hookups? You can get AIDS from a one night stand the same as you can from a regular sexual relationship.

Paedantic Basterd · 04-04-2013, 09:41 AM

If you're in an exclusive relationship with someone, probably all that's necessary is "I've had a few partners", and you can both have a first date at the clinic and take some extra precautions.

If you're sleeping around behind someone's back, you're not giving them that heads up.

The Batlord · 04-04-2013, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

If you're sleeping around behind someone's back, you're not giving them that heads up.

Because your personal life is not their business. I get what you're saying and it has logic, but I think privacy trumps it. If you're in a friends with benefits relationship you should assume that the other person is sleeping with other people, but that doesn't mean that you have a right to that information.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-06-2013, 06:08 PM

Damn straight I would deserve that information. I'm not risking a sexually transmitted disease. But that is why I wouldn't put myself in that situation in the first place.

Burning Down · 04-06-2013, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Because your personal life is not their business. I get what you're saying and it has logic, but I think privacy trumps it. If you're in a friends with benefits relationship you should assume that the other person is sleeping with other people, but that doesn't mean that you have a right to that information.

But I have a right to know if they have an STD that I could catch. If you know you have an STD and you do not tell your partner, and they catch it, they have a right to sue you. And in a lot of places, if you knowingly have HIV/AIDS and you give it to a partner without telling them, that's a felony. So yeah, if I caught something from the person I was sleeping with, I wouldn't really give a damn about who exactly they caught it from at that point. I would just want to know that they are infected with something.

http://health-care.lawyers.com/v2/Do...ut-an-STD.html

Black Francis · 04-07-2013, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine

Far be it from me to give give dating advice but in the case of internet "hookups", an emotional affair is what's being had.

However, I think the OP made a point (more than once) to say that his current physical relationship is established as casual, uncommitted, and not monogamous. So.. why would his "internet hookup" be any worse than him dating multiple people in real life? That's pretty normal for humans.

I'm confused about why people presume that the real-life girl expects monogamy. OP said expressly that she does not. If she does then, yeah, I agree with the "you're a sleazy douche" comments but he claims that she does not. If in doubt, he should talk to real-life girl about it and accept the consequences, as has already been said.

i think i love you Engine <3

i think i was very clear about that but somehow i ended up being a sleaze bag

and a little update, we did talk and now we're officially dating so to speak..

The Batlord · 04-08-2013, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

But I have a right to know if they have an STD that I could catch. If you know you have an STD and you do not tell your partner, and they catch it, they have a right to sue you. And in a lot of places, if you knowingly have HIV/AIDS and you give it to a partner without telling them, that's a felony. So yeah, if I caught something from the person I was sleeping with, I wouldn't really give a damn about who exactly they caught it from at that point. I would just want to know that they are infected with something.

http://health-care.lawyers.com/v2/Do...ut-an-STD.html

We're not talking about STDs (of course you should tell a sexual partner about any STDs). We're talking about sexual history, and you still haven't answered my question. Does a one night stand have the right to your sexual history?

FETCHER. · 04-08-2013, 09:49 AM

Well if you're not completely monogamous with someone then you should be using protection instead of relying on them to tell you that they've got their finger in more than one pie. They don't need to tell you that if its not exclusive because it would be none if your business.

Burning Down · 04-08-2013, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

We're not talking about STDs (of course you should tell a sexual partner about any STDs). We're talking about sexual history, and you still haven't answered my question. Does a one night stand have the right to your sexual history?

Well one night stands are generally anonymous, right? You don't know this person, they don't know you, so nobody is really obligated to say anything about their sexual history. Just assume that they've slept with a number of other people and leave it at that.

I've never had a one night stand so I'm not exactly sure what the rules and expectations are.

The Batlord · 04-08-2013, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

Well one night stands are generally anonymous, right? You don't know this person, they don't know you, so nobody is really obligated to say anything about their sexual history. Just assume that they've slept with a number of other people and leave it at that.

I've never had a one night stand so I'm not exactly sure what the rules and expectations are.

You can still give them a disease. If the logic is that the possibility of giving someone a disease means that you are obligated to tell someone of your sexual history then it shouldn't matter how well you know them or want to know them.

04-06-2013, 06:08 PM	#84 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	Damn straight I would deserve that information. I'm not risking a sexually transmitted disease. But that is why I wouldn't put myself in that situation in the first place. __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

04-04-2013, 09:41 AM	#82 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	If you're in an exclusive relationship with someone, probably all that's necessary is "I've had a few partners", and you can both have a first date at the clinic and take some extra precautions. If you're sleeping around behind someone's back, you're not giving them that heads up.