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Old 02-11-2013, 05:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
It still hurts to this day man, about 20 years later.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.
Dude! Thats not funny at all!

*kicks dirt*

Ok... it is.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It still hurts to this day man, about 20 years later.
I'm not exaggerating when I say I seriously had some sort of lurching physical reaction to reading that.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
I'm not exaggerating when I say I seriously had some sort of lurching physical reaction to reading that.
Think of his story. Ol Robb has got everyone beat with the Mel Gibson scar routine from Lethal Weapon. Oh yeah **** you Mel take a look at my ballsack you bitch.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.
You could of just said "some fat ass sliced his sack open".














































Just kidding. good story
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:37 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.
Uncool story, bro.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:10 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. View Post
It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.
This isn't so much "haha funny" as "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WTF funny".
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:11 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Most of the stories I have to tell wouldn't translate as well through words, and you really would have had to be there.
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Most of the stories I have to tell wouldn't translate as well through words, and you really would have had to be there.
Dean Koontz says:

"You really need to tap into your inner Dean Koontz."
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