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Old 05-26-2013, 10:45 AM   #151 (permalink)
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^ Comorbidity is a ****ing bitch
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Old 05-26-2013, 10:52 AM   #152 (permalink)
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Do you mean you don't fit borderline because of the lack of mood swings?

Can I ask how the GAD manifests? You said you felt it was morphing into something more serious?
I'm not sure... The psych had told me I was a borderline psychopath and I'm still unsure of what that means. There's criteria that I fall into and criteria that I don't fit. I guess it's not as cut and dry as it seems. Maybe I need to get a second opinion, but my problem with seeing psychiatrists is that I know how to manipulate the treatment so they think there's nothing wrong with me. CBT for my anxiety didn't end up working because I lied and said it was working and I was managing. I don't know how to stop manipulating treatments, so maybe I need to go see a more highly trained psychiatrist? But I can just handle it on my own so I think I'll be okay.

I don't have extreme mood swings outside of occasional PMS or whatever, lol.

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Ok that's interesting, I honestly don't know much about it but I think it seems that you manage it well. At the end of the day its about understanding from others to why you may not behave exactly as others do.
Yeah, I think understanding that is really important. I understand and accept that I don't find myself reacting "typically" to certain situations, simply because I can't.
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Old 05-26-2013, 10:56 AM   #153 (permalink)
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I'm not sure... The psych had told me I was a borderline psychopath and I'm still unsure of what that means. There's criteria that I fall into and criteria that I don't fit. I guess it's not as cut and dry as it seems. Maybe I need to get a second opinion, but my problem with seeing psychiatrists is that I know how to manipulate the treatment so they think there's nothing wrong with me. CBT for my anxiety didn't end up working because I lied and said it was working and I was managing. I don't know how to stop manipulating treatments, so maybe I need to go see a more highly trained psychiatrist? But I can just handle it on my own so I think I'll be okay.
LMFAO I just misread this about a hundred percent, in my world, CBT is cock and ball torture...then I realised cognitive behavioural therapy...I was like, BD what the fuck?

Therapy is difficult for everyone I think, if you don't have a therapist you can trust, but I don't think that necessarily everyone with mental problems needs a therapist, often enough if you have a trusted friend/lover that can be very helpful with dealing with mental illness. I have a great group of GF's myself that I now know I can come to with my problems because I know I won't be judged and several of them know exactly how I feel because they go through similar things and I know that whatever happens they're there to love and support me whatever I do.

However I find that in my illness I can't trust lovers because they tend to take my illness personally, when in actuality even admitting my illness to them is a hardship for me. They take every action I do personally, like my ex used to really piss me off because I had a technique to deal with my hypersensitivity, I'd use logic to override my paranoia and I'd ask "Hey, I felt like you meant this, but since you're supposed to love me and say you care about me, did you really mean this?" and he'd get angry, because apparently to him that meant I didn't trust him. I did, at least for a while, but the problem was that my brain works against me and because he couldn't trust me back, I ended up eventually leaving him because he couldn't love all of me for who I was, I was either a sickness or a nursemaid. I have no time for that. Also because of my personality, he made assumptions that I was only with him because I was codependent, even though I stayed with him in the hospital when he was in a nasty car crash, took care of him when he needed me, left someone I really genuinely loved because he told me he needed me, cheated on me, totally forgot my birthday, and generally treated me like garbage.
Like wtf is wrong with you that you'd assume I'm codependent? I don't ****ing need you.

Last edited by Sansa Stark; 05-26-2013 at 11:02 AM.
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Old 05-26-2013, 11:02 AM   #154 (permalink)
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LMFAO I just misread this about a hundred percent, in my world, CBT is cock and ball torture...then I realised cognitive behavioural therapy...I was like, BD what the fuck?

Therapy is difficult for everyone I think, if you don't have a therapist you can trust, but I don't think that necessarily everyone with mental problems needs a therapist, often enough if you have a trusted friend/lover that can be very helpful with dealing with mental illness. I have a great group of GF's myself that I now know I can come to with my problems because I know I won't be judged and several of them know exactly how I feel because they go through similar things and I know that whatever happens they're there to love and support me whatever I do.
Obviously I wasn't quite thinking when I typed that, lol. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, yes

No, I don't think everyone needs or benefits from therapy either. I don't think I've benefited from it at all, really. I too, have really great people in my life who know me so well and who make a great support system, which is why I believe I can manage without seeing doctors all the time.
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Old 05-26-2013, 11:06 AM   #155 (permalink)
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Obviously I wasn't quite thinking when I typed that, lol. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, yes

No, I don't think everyone needs or benefits from therapy either. I don't think I've benefited from it at all, really. I too, have really great people in my life who know me so well and who make a great support system, which is why I believe I can manage without seeing doctors all the time.
I don't think most people realise that CBT is cock and ball torture though ahahahahah

I agree on that, but I think sometimes doctors are necessary, because of the stigma on mental illness, we seem to blame ourselves for it mostly (or we're conditioned to do so) and I know personally I've always felt I was weak for seeking help for my own, even though it is a serious illness that can seriously **** up all my relationships. However, I now realise that it's not weak to admit you might need help carrying your burdens. Also, I think it's important to do your own research about medications, and find a doctor who listens to you. I only see a GP now but she's good at listening to me and trusts me to know what I need. Also I think that women doctors are better in general if you're female because it's easier to trust a woman.
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Old 05-26-2013, 11:13 AM   #156 (permalink)
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OH YEAH I almost forgot: Spending time w/ animals is a great replacement for therapy in a lot of ways. If you have a no kill shelter around you, (I'm sure you do we're everywhere!!!) try to get involved in some way. I do photography & graphic design for our shelter and it's great for me and them because I use my creativity for good, and because I'm good at what I do more people come to our adoption events and adopted cats and dogs. The ones I worked with/the one I'm on the board for, you can just go in and pick up whoever you want, there's loose cats running around and they're all so happy to see you that you just can't feel ****ty. People forget how helpful animals can be for mental health, but I think they're very important for this purpose. That's why my babycat is so important to me, because he's trusting with me and regards me as his Mama Cat, so he watches over me if I'm sick (because he can always tell) or I'm depressed or something awful has happened to me.
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Old 05-26-2013, 11:24 AM   #157 (permalink)
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OH YEAH I almost forgot: Spending time w/ animals is a great replacement for therapy in a lot of ways. If you have a no kill shelter around you, (I'm sure you do we're everywhere!!!) try to get involved in some way. I do photography & graphic design for our shelter and it's great for me and them because I use my creativity for good, and because I'm good at what I do more people come to our adoption events and adopted cats and dogs. The ones I worked with/the one I'm on the board for, you can just go in and pick up whoever you want, there's loose cats running around and they're all so happy to see you that you just can't feel ****ty. People forget how helpful animals can be for mental health, but I think they're very important for this purpose. That's why my babycat is so important to me, because he's trusting with me and regards me as his Mama Cat, so he watches over me if I'm sick (because he can always tell) or I'm depressed or something awful has happened to me.
I'm pretty sure there is one downtown somewhere. I wish I could go and play with all the cats and dogs but allergies hold me back. I might be okay with dogs or puppies but cats and kittens are a no-go for me, unfortunately. I get really bad hives because I'm allergic to their saliva, and cats lick themselves!
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Old 05-26-2013, 01:25 PM   #158 (permalink)
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Usually i forget what ppl say who never met me but to make it clear my mood is the most steady of anyones ive ever been around so manic depressive NO.
Lately tho as i wean off Effexor (im at 1/2) ppl have been noticing i look sad and someone even asked me why i am so sad just by looking at me. This makes me wonder if i shouldnt be taking myself off.
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Old 05-26-2013, 01:49 PM   #159 (permalink)
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Usually i forget what ppl say who never met me but to make it clear my mood is the most steady of anyones ive ever been around so manic depressive NO.
Lately tho as i wean off Effexor (im at 1/2) ppl have been noticing i look sad and someone even asked me why i am so sad just by looking at me. This makes me wonder if i shouldnt be taking myself off.
If you do decide to, please taper yourself off, idk how much you know about psych meds but it can have some nasty effects on your body if you abruptly stop taking them.
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Old 05-26-2013, 01:56 PM   #160 (permalink)
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Yea, Herm I am... taking 1 beadlet out (of a total of 150) a day which is about as slow as it gets. Im thinking the nasty nightmares makes living w out a happy pill the lesser of the two evils.
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