Customer Service Horror Stories

LoathsomePete · 08-21-2012, 05:52 PM

I'm going to go out on a limb just by the age demographics of MusicBanter that most members who have jobs, either work, or have worked in some kind of service based industry. People, as we all know are selfish, greedy, hateful, ugly, spiteful cocks and when they're standing with cash in hand it just seems to exacerbate all of these delightful qualities and as such go off on some of the strangest tangents to some poor schlep working for minimum wage who has absolutely no control over the circumstances. So fellow musicbanterer's, I ask you to share your stories of customers exhibiting the kind of behavior that makes you fantasize about how many sledgehammer blows to the face it takes to turn it into a smoothie.

Here's my most recent one. A client sends in his payment for me to file his businesses annual report with the state, but on the check he confuses the "Pay to the Order of" and "memo" slots and made it so I couldn't deposit the check. I send him an email letting him know the situation and that I will be returning his check in the mail, but he decides to respond with a long tangent about how we're trying to rip him off... by sending him back the check that I can't even deposit.

Not the best story I have, but I figure I'll save those for later.

Paedantic Basterd · 08-21-2012, 05:56 PM

A couple of summers ago, a camper in line for fuel at the gas pumps suffered a leak in its sanitation tank and leaked excrement in a path through the pumps and all over the parking lot.

It's amazing how many people in customer service have ****-cleaning stories. People will crap their pants at the drop of a hat.

LoathsomePete · 08-21-2012, 05:58 PM

When I was working in clothing retail I had to clean one of the changing rooms because a kid either couldn't find the washroom or just didn't care and did his business in there...

Sparky · 08-21-2012, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

When I was working in clothing retail I had to clean one of the changing rooms because a kid either couldn't find the washroom or just didn't care and did his business in there...

had this exact thing happen to me but it was a old man.

One good thing about the modern retail structure is that it's more or less the manager who has to deal with every single instance of BS.

Oh your mad and want to talk to my manager? Certainly!!

Breeskii · 08-21-2012, 06:04 PM

I used to work in a theme park, and one guy started picking up trash out of a bin and throwing it at me because I refused to let his child ride a rollercoaster. The rollercoaster had a 1.4m height restriction, and this child was about 4, maybe 5, years old. He also told me that I would die unloved and alone, and claimed that I was jealous of his perfect family.
Ahh the things we put up with for a paycheck!

Burning Down · 08-21-2012, 08:19 PM

Heh... this summer I was helping to test jet engines and see if they meet military specifications. I was like a customer liaison between the manufacturer and the Canadian and American militaries. The only thing I can really say here is that there are some real bitches working for the military.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 08-21-2012, 08:42 PM

My mother received a 3ft tall santa decoration last year.
She'd phone to complain several times that she never ordered it and the person on the phone would tell her they'd send her the forms to send it back, but all they'd end up sending her was another bill for it.

3 months that thing was sitting in her living room

**Janszoon** · 08-22-2012, 10:44 AM

Back when I used ring a cash register at a department store, I had some old lady come up to me and tell me I was going to die of AIDS because I had bleached hair and earrings.

Trollheart · 08-23-2012, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

Heh... this summer I was helping to test jet engines and see if they meet military specifications. I was like a customer liaison between the manufacturer and the Canadian and American militaries. The only thing I can really say here is that there are some real bitches working for the military.

That has got to be the coolest job ever!

Trollheart · 08-23-2012, 06:31 AM

I worked in the freight business for nearly thirty years (air imports) and once had to tell a client that the urgent shipment of PCBs they were expecting from Japan, that they had brought people in on overtime to install, would not be getting there. Asked why, I had the greatest excuse ever. The plane had crashed into a mountain. Really. There was just silence on the line.

Another time, my boss was dealing with an irate customer who just wouldn't listen. He wanted the price of something dropped I think, long time ago. Our rates were too high or something. So he says to my boss "Oh look, this is ridiculous! I want to talk to someone who can make a decision!"

Grinning, my boss said a phrase I guess he'd been waiting most of his life to say: "You're talking to him. I've made the decision. You're not getting a discount!"

Kind of like that one time I saw on TV where, seriously, these guys called to someone's house in the early morning and the girl leans out the window and says "**** off or I'll call the police!" One of the two guys looks up and no doubt grinning says, "Love, we ARE the police!" Oh my god, it really happened and I saw it!

Then there was the customs officer who was CONVINCED that a shipment of the album "Hotel California" by the Eagles was dodgy, as being in a gatefold sleeve (remember them?) he was sure there should be TWO records in there, but there was only one! Would not be convinced till he phoned the record company. Ah, Customs! That happened before my time.

Or the guy who regularly came on the phone five minutes before we closed on a Friday looking for a quote for "three boxes to go to India", let's say. In the freight business it's all based on dimensions and volumes, so you can't quote without those. Asked for the information he snapped "I haven't time to worry about such things! Just give me the quote!" Idiot.

08-21-2012, 05:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	Customer Service Horror Stories I'm going to go out on a limb just by the age demographics of MusicBanter that most members who have jobs, either work, or have worked in some kind of service based industry. People, as we all know are selfish, greedy, hateful, ugly, spiteful cocks and when they're standing with cash in hand it just seems to exacerbate all of these delightful qualities and as such go off on some of the strangest tangents to some poor schlep working for minimum wage who has absolutely no control over the circumstances. So fellow musicbanterer's, I ask you to share your stories of customers exhibiting the kind of behavior that makes you fantasize about how many sledgehammer blows to the face it takes to turn it into a smoothie. Here's my most recent one. A client sends in his payment for me to file his businesses annual report with the state, but on the check he confuses the "Pay to the Order of" and "memo" slots and made it so I couldn't deposit the check. I send him an email letting him know the situation and that I will be returning his check in the mail, but he decides to respond with a long tangent about how we're trying to rip him off... by sending him back the check that I can't even deposit. Not the best story I have, but I figure I'll save those for later. __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

08-21-2012, 05:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	When I was working in clothing retail I had to clean one of the changing rooms because a kid either couldn't find the washroom or just didn't care and did his business in there... __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

08-21-2012, 08:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	My mother received a 3ft tall santa decoration last year. She'd phone to complain several times that she never ordered it and the person on the phone would tell her they'd send her the forms to send it back, but all they'd end up sending her was another bill for it. 3 months that thing was sitting in her living room __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

08-22-2012, 10:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	Back when I used ring a cash register at a department store, I had some old lady come up to me and tell me I was going to die of AIDS because I had bleached hair and earrings. __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

08-23-2012, 06:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	I worked in the freight business for nearly thirty years (air imports) and once had to tell a client that the urgent shipment of PCBs they were expecting from Japan, that they had brought people in on overtime to install, would not be getting there. Asked why, I had the greatest excuse ever. The plane had crashed into a mountain. Really. There was just silence on the line. Another time, my boss was dealing with an irate customer who just wouldn't listen. He wanted the price of something dropped I think, long time ago. Our rates were too high or something. So he says to my boss "Oh look, this is ridiculous! I want to talk to someone who can make a decision!" Grinning, my boss said a phrase I guess he'd been waiting most of his life to say: "You're talking to him. I've made the decision. You're not getting a discount!" Kind of like that one time I saw on TV where, seriously, these guys called to someone's house in the early morning and the girl leans out the window and says "**** off or I'll call the police!" One of the two guys looks up and no doubt grinning says, "Love, we ARE the police!" Oh my god, it really happened and I saw it! Then there was the customs officer who was CONVINCED that a shipment of the album "Hotel California" by the Eagles was dodgy, as being in a gatefold sleeve (remember them?) he was sure there should be TWO records in there, but there was only one! Would not be convinced till he phoned the record company. Ah, Customs! That happened before my time. Or the guy who regularly came on the phone five minutes before we closed on a Friday looking for a quote for "three boxes to go to India", let's say. In the freight business it's all based on dimensions and volumes, so you can't quote without those. Asked for the information he snapped "I haven't time to worry about such things! Just give me the quote!" Idiot. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

08-21-2012, 05:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	A couple of summers ago, a camper in line for fuel at the gas pumps suffered a leak in its sanitation tank and leaked excrement in a path through the pumps and all over the parking lot. It's amazing how many people in customer service have ****-cleaning stories. People will crap their pants at the drop of a hat.

08-21-2012, 06:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
Breeskii Groupie Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: London Posts: 0	I used to work in a theme park, and one guy started picking up trash out of a bin and throwing it at me because I refused to let his child ride a rollercoaster. The rollercoaster had a 1.4m height restriction, and this child was about 4, maybe 5, years old. He also told me that I would die unloved and alone, and claimed that I was jealous of his perfect family. Ahh the things we put up with for a paycheck!

08-21-2012, 08:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
Burning Down The Music Guru. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Beyond the Wall Posts: 4,858	Heh... this summer I was helping to test jet engines and see if they meet military specifications. I was like a customer liaison between the manufacturer and the Canadian and American militaries. The only thing I can really say here is that there are some real bitches working for the military.