Customer Service Horror Stories

**Janszoon** · 08-24-2012, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob.

ok i worked as a bike messenger in Seattle for four years....and this situation happened more times than i can count

"is it raining out there?"

i am literally soaked to the bone, shivering and miserable handing them their documents and they ask me

"is it raining out there?"

WWWP · 08-24-2012, 12:51 PM

^ On a related note, it annoys me to my core when I ask customers if they want a bag and they respond with "it's raining today."

I didn't ask if it's ****ing raining, I asked if you wanted a bag.

**Janszoon** · 08-24-2012, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

^ On a related note, it annoys me to my core when I ask customers if they want a bag and they respond with "it's raining today."

I didn't ask if it's ****ing raining, I asked if you wanted a bag.

What the hell does that even mean? People are crazy.

WWWP · 08-24-2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

What the hell does that even mean? People are crazy.

They assume that because it's raining I would assume that they wanted a bag. But I don't assume, I ask, because I still cannot read minds.

downwardspiral · 08-25-2012, 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vertigo

My full time job is working in a hotel, thankfully I don't have to deal with the whining public all the time, but there have been more than enough occasions believe me!

There is one thing that people can say to me that causes me to bite my tongue and use every effort not to go off the rails at them.

"What are you going to do about it?" - All complaints are, invariably, after the event. So, someone says something like "I was woken up by someone banging on my door at 2.00am," and you reply "I'm very sorry about that," to which they then say "Well, that's not good enough, what are you going to do about."

What do they then expect of me?

"Hang on, I'll jump in my f*cking time machine, jump back six hours and stop the a*sehole banging on your door. The Delorian is just outside, wait here...."

Haha, oh man. Sounds like typical customers over here. I work in a bank, much to my embarrassment/regret, and I speak to the worst people on this planet. From stuck up, patronising business men, to posh, rude old ladies and then to the general scumbags screaming down the phone at me when their JSA hasn't gone in. I just feel like telling the lot of them to bail it, people's attitudes really really get to me. The only good thing this job has done for me is open up to how disgusting the human race is.

What hotel do you work in? Is it like a travle lodge/premier inn?

mr dave · 08-25-2012, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

I had a woman come in to the gift shop I was working at during the Christmas period and there was a huge line behind her but she expected everything individually gift wrapped and made a huge fuss about it. She threw a wobbly and demanded the biggest present wrapped up in special paper but the paper wasn't big enough. Luckily I convinced her to let me use brown paper and rape it with ribbons and cellophane. She ended up satisfied but what a hassle.

Greatest typo ever.

As for my own CS stories. These all happened over maybe 3 months while working for UPS a few summers ago.

One of my first calls in training was a dude out in the Alberta oil sands who wanted to get some lobster shipped from the coast. UPS is not equipped to handle fresh, live, or otherwise biological material. The trucks are not refrigerated. After explaining to him that it would be toxic by the time it got there we still figured out an estimate for shipping a cooler full of giant sea bugs. $400. He still seemed OK with the idea.

----

During my first night of live calls for UPS I got a call from a dude who ran a skate shop who flipped out and started raging at me because he assumed the credit on his account would magically be used without him ever mentioning it to anyone while setting up his parcel pickup. I don't just mean raising his voice either, it was the kind of primal screaming where you start losing tonal control of your voice. The supervisor I got to handle the rest of the call got teary eyed while trying to explain to him that he'd already been told more than a few times that he HAS to tell people to use his account credit when setting up a pickup and that there was no way to magically reimburse him for the money he had just spent to get his packages picked up that evening. Pretty sure the dude was just taking advantage of the situation to abuse call center employees in attempts to get free shipping.

----

Then there was the Canadian woman from Vancouver who ran businesses in Washington state who wanted to use the Canadian service to ship or deliver goods through the States and circumvent a pile of border laws.

----

Person from Florida called my call center because the 'new' cellphone they just got ...in Florida... was actually manufactured and region locked as being a Canadian device so she'd get automatically patched through to us.

----

One lady flipped out at me during my first week because she couldn't believe that shipping about 50lbs of handbags overnight, by air, from Canada to California would cost around $500.

----

Another lady got upset with me because current domestic trade laws make it far more expensive to initiate shipments from within Canada than from most international destinations. Yeah... some dude in a call center can manipulate trade laws... don't bother contacting your local politician I'll get right on it.

----

Had one dude from way up north get upset with me because he didn't like his MacBook and wanted to return it. By 'way up north' I mean he had to take a skidoo for a few hours to get to the local airport, get a box, and then ship it out from there. There were literally no roads to get to his house. Yet he wanted us to come pick it up or to deal with Apple because they wanted him to return the product and he wanted us to pick it up or to make it better between them...

----

But the absolute worse call(s) I got were from about a 9 year old from Vancouver. This child's parents were Chinese nationals who couldn't speak English and he was asking us to leave their immigration papers in a specific non-secure location where they'd be able to get them. They needed the specific paperwork for some legal / court thing or face deportation and due to their work schedule were never home to be able to sign for the papers. I did try getting more help for the kid and his family through supervisors but they apparently didn't satisfy him because he called back at least 2 more times. While it could have been an immigration scam... if it was that kid deserves and Oscar.

**Janszoon** · 08-25-2012, 09:48 AM

Dave, I didn't realize you had worked at UPS. I'm not sure if we can continue to be friends.

Trollheart · 08-25-2012, 02:01 PM

But.. but ... UPS are great! Look! This ad says so! See?

mr dave · 08-26-2012, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Dave, I didn't realize you had worked at UPS. I'm not sure if we can continue to be friends.

Bills gotta get paid somehow

If it makes you feel any better I just kind of stopped going one day. No notice, nothing.

Actually what happened was the 'new' system for organizing and tracking pick ups / deliveries went down one day and I got a whole 20 second 'refresher' on how to use the old system - because I had been in the very first training class to only learn the new one...

Apparently my ability to not freak out and organize a parcel pickup had the leader-type people in that call center believing I was a veteran they all somehow didn't recognize. Either way, there's was NO WAY I was going back to deal with the fallout mess of screwed up pick ups and people freaking out because the cost estimates they were getting from the phone agents likely didn't include taxes and surcharges.

---

Also - f@ck Friday afternoons at UPS. Soooo many douchebags calling to know just when the truck is going to be there to pick up their thing and bitching at us like we're screwing up their weekend. They have until 5pm to get their and pick up your package, don't start calling at 3 and getting mouthy because you can't leave early.

---- and if you think that's bad... I also worked for Capital One credit cards. Twice. I'm so sorry.

Mojo · 08-26-2012, 12:38 PM

"Good morning, you're speaking to Neil. How may I help you?

I got your broadband this morning and it isn't working!

Ok, what seems to be the problem?

I put the disc in (to run an install) and then it froze my PC and now I can't do anything!

You can't do anything?

No! I put the disc in and clicked to install it and then I waited but all that happened is that my screen went black and now nothing works!

You screen is just black? Is there anything on your screen at all, any kind of patterns of text, or is just completely black?

No, nothing at all. It's black. Your disc broke my PC! I've been sitting here watching it for two hours now but nothing happens!

(I then proceed to ask her to do several things, some very basic stuff. I ask her to press Esc, to hold Alt and press F4 and also to press Ctrl, Alt & Del. I ask her to try and click on her Start menu and open My Computer and a few other things. All of them she claims to do and then states that the machine does not respond. This all takes a very long time. When she claims that none of the above has helped in any way, I do not feel confident that she is doing as I ask at all. I feel as though she isn't doing what i ask, the PC is asleep, switched off or she has broken it and is now trying to blame it on us. This wouldnt real be a surprise. People refuse to do what customer service tell them to do all of the time. They believe that we should be able to jump on the nearest train and do it all for them. Well, there was something else I thought it could be. I thought it immediately, before the last 45 minutes or so were so painfully taken from my life. But....nobody could actually be this stupid, could they?)

Actually...there is something on my screen!

Oh, there is? What is it?

It's this tiny little pattern. It starts in the bottom corner of my screen and then it moves around the screen, and it gets bigger, and bigger...

Thats your screensaver, Ma'am. Please move your mouse. Thanks for calling."

08-25-2012, 09:48 AM	#37 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	Dave, I didn't realize you had worked at UPS. I'm not sure if we can continue to be friends. __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

08-25-2012, 02:01 PM	#38 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	But.. but ... UPS are great! Look! This ad says so! See? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

08-26-2012, 12:38 PM	#40 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	"Good morning, you're speaking to Neil. How may I help you? I got your broadband this morning and it isn't working! Ok, what seems to be the problem? I put the disc in (to run an install) and then it froze my PC and now I can't do anything! You can't do anything? No! I put the disc in and clicked to install it and then I waited but all that happened is that my screen went black and now nothing works! You screen is just black? Is there anything on your screen at all, any kind of patterns of text, or is just completely black? No, nothing at all. It's black. Your disc broke my PC! I've been sitting here watching it for two hours now but nothing happens! (I then proceed to ask her to do several things, some very basic stuff. I ask her to press Esc, to hold Alt and press F4 and also to press Ctrl, Alt & Del. I ask her to try and click on her Start menu and open My Computer and a few other things. All of them she claims to do and then states that the machine does not respond. This all takes a very long time. When she claims that none of the above has helped in any way, I do not feel confident that she is doing as I ask at all. I feel as though she isn't doing what i ask, the PC is asleep, switched off or she has broken it and is now trying to blame it on us. This wouldnt real be a surprise. People refuse to do what customer service tell them to do all of the time. They believe that we should be able to jump on the nearest train and do it all for them. Well, there was something else I thought it could be. I thought it immediately, before the last 45 minutes or so were so painfully taken from my life. But....nobody could actually be this stupid, could they?) Actually...there is something on my screen! Oh, there is? What is it? It's this tiny little pattern. It starts in the bottom corner of my screen and then it moves around the screen, and it gets bigger, and bigger... Thats your screensaver, Ma'am. Please move your mouse. Thanks for calling." __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust