Hilarious Sex Stories
 

The first time can be awkward :shycouch: but I can also be down right hilarious. :rofl: Anyone have a really funny story of how they lost their virginity? Or any other scandalous stories? :love:

yo son, one night i got all blazed out an hella drunk an ended up pissin tha bed when my girl was in it. it was tight yo, i was like "check that sh*t out son, see if thats pee" then tha bitch got down an smelled that sh*t an i was like "aww sh*t girl, u jus stuck your nose in my piss, son" "i knew it was piss all along, look at tha stain on tha boxorz biiatch"

HAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA! Dude that is fuucked up, but damm funny. :yikes:

ey is that you in your pic IMATOOL?

dirt... once again you have brought tears to my eyes.. i am privileged to know you...

:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

Greatest. Story. Ever.

i seriously think that he tops the list

nope all my pics of myself are too big but im posted in the Member Gallery check me out :p:

hey Dirt got anymore stories?

no one can top that dirt. *wipes away the tears of laughter*

jen xx

Loads......
Slept with this one girl at my old flat (that I shared) and there were loads of people round getting mess'd up. She was on top and my wrists were tied to the bed and this guy that was lookin for the toliet walked in on us. I told him to piss off and got back 2 it when about 5-6 ****in lads faces peared round my bedroom door (no f**kin' lock). The girl wasn't impressed but I was laughing my a** off.

I slept with this one chick after taking Lsd. That f**kin' rocked. Her hair was changing colour from blond to brunette 2 red head..... and her face kept on changing to other girls faces as well...... That could of gone so wrong but it turned out great :)

I was really drunk one night, f**ked this girl I'd pulled (my mate girlfriends best mate) so hard she couldn't walk straight. Then forgot her name in the morning. She f**ked off pretty quick after that, so I put on a towel and went to tell my flatmate & his girlfriend what I'd been up to, went into his room and my towel fell off, s**t one. Pulled her again a week later, she knew........ :yeah:

Last sunday I popped this girls cherry, still got the sheets...... :pimp:

Cheers to alcohol, none of it could have been done without you :beer:

Some of those stories aren't as funny as they are sad.

I spent a weekend in london with my last girlfriend, about 47 hours of that was spent having sex

By the Monday morning I had the following list of injuries........

My bottom lip felt like it had been chewed off
I could hardly speak because my tongue was so sore from giving her so much oral
I had a rash covering the lower part of my face from where her wet thighs had been rubbing against my stubble.
My neck & chest were covered in bites
My nipples had felt like they had been pulled / bitten off (Although I think she came out worse than me for that ;))
My back was COVERED in scratchmarks.
I was red raw 'down below'
I could hardly walk from her bouncing up & down on my thighs all weekend.
And I was also drowsy from drinking alcohol & lack of sleep all weekend.

And I had to go to work like that.

Still ..... best weekend ever

Dude now that is a steamy sex story good show man

No thats the result , the steamy bit is what we did ;)

you sound like fun :)

I like to think so ;)

see you are depraved!!!

You don`t know the things she asked me to do

i dont need nor want to....

maybe , but if a hot girl asked you to do them i`d bet my life savings you would

yeh youd probly be right there....

but i do

in public ? i`m actually quite shy really ;)

oh well, thats to bad hehe

You could ask any questions you wish via PM though , everyone else does ;)

do i realy want to know? :)

Thats not for me to say :)