Shaking Hands

adidasss · 10-04-2011, 01:15 PM

That is so true, and I dislike overtly submissive or dominant people, which is definitely shown by a handshake.

Oh and I've noticed that I do adapt my handshake to the person I'm shaking hands with, if I see a burly man, I'll definitely prepare for a more firm handshake (though I don't think I've ever actually overpowered anyone in that respect) and when I see a tiny little woman I just take their hand in mine. Also, the majority of my handshakes aren't really proper, full grasp, hold tight, bob up and down handshakes, more of a hasty grab and let go affairs...:\

right-track · 10-04-2011, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss

Btw, never shook the hand of a woman? Not even in a business-related situation? Because NOT shaking it seems downright rude...unless where you come from it's not customary to do so so they don't even offer their hand. Strange!

Pretty much customary not to. If I know the female well enough to shake hands, then a greeting is usually with a kiss.
Shaking hands is a male thing. I'm not saying it should be so exclusively, but you won't get many women here offering a handshake.
Like Kayliegh says, it's rare to non existent. Maybe it's a northern thing?

Vegan. A true lady would offer the gentleman the back of her hand with her palm facing down and would not request a handshake, but instead would expect a light kiss. Failing that...a swift punch to the shoulder will suffice.

Older than you, UK.

GuitarBizarre · 10-04-2011, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

Pretty much customary not to. If I know the female well enough to shake hands, then a greeting is usually with a kiss.
Shaking hands is a male thing. I'm not saying it should be so exclusively, but you won't get many women here offering a handshake.
Like Kayliegh says, it's rare to non existent. Maybe it's a northern thing?

Vegan. A true lady would offer the gentleman the back of her hand with her palm facing down and would not request a handshake, but instead would expect a light kiss. Failing that...a swift punch to the shoulder will suffice.

Older than you, UK.

/me is mancunian

/me sees girls shake hands semi-frequently

lucifer_sam · 10-04-2011, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuitarBizarre

I'm with this. I feel as though a handshake says a great deal, when combined with other 'first meeting' gestures. Someone who offers me a weak handshake but a very positive greeting for example, I get the impression they're semi-submissive or unsure.

On the other hand, the ex army folk handshake I mentioned before usually is far firmer than I consider is appropriate for a first meeting, so I generally take away the impression that the person is attempting to appear dominant.

I've yet to be tremendously far off base.

Not gonna lie, I get the impression "now he's a poofter."

GuitarBizarre · 10-04-2011, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucifer_sam

Not gonna lie, I get the impression "now he's a poofter."

That thought (though without that particular slang) usually only crosses my mind if they lisp and mince.

right-track · 10-04-2011, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuitarBizarre

/me is mancunian

/me sees girls shake hands semi-frequently

I knows you is mancunian.
What does semi-frequently mean? You either does, or you don't.
In your job?

Blarobbarg · 10-04-2011, 06:14 PM

It depends on who I'm shaking hands with. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, so the guys seem to expect a strong handshake and the women expect a somewhat firm, but gentle handshake. Personally, I really don't like shaking hands... with anyone I know, I try to just hug if the situation calls for physically saying hello. If it's someone I see all the time, I'm much more likely to just wave or high five or fist bump or... really, anything other than shaking hands.

NSW · 10-04-2011, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

I don't think I've ever shook the hand of a woman. I'll shake hands with men, but for some reason shaking hands with a woman seems inappropriate.
A bit like slapping them on the back.
Usually, a smile and nod does the trick.

Bored, Manchester.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA

I don't think anyone ever taught me how to shake hands, but I like to try to shake hands in the same way I like handshakes to feel. I love shaking hands because it can be such a warm, friendly gesture, especially when combined with a smile and eye contact. I definitely think about all the nuances of handshaking!

See, this seems really odd to me. My parents actually taught me that when your in a situation where you're meeting someone new, especially someone older, you should shake their hand. And it's very common place in business, among men and women alike.

Maybe my momma really didn't raise me right...

GuitarBizarre · 10-04-2011, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

I knows you is mancunian.
What does semi-frequently mean? You either does, or you don't.
In your job?

In and out. I'm not saying it happens a whole ****load but I do end up shaking hands with women quite a bit in day to day life. People's girlfriends for example, where there's a need to make a more committed acknowledgement of their existence than just "hi", but where a greeting-hug is out of line. They usually proffer, by the way.

Freebase Dali · 10-04-2011, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonsubmissivewife

See, this seems really odd to me. My parents actually taught me that when your in a situation where you're meeting someone new, especially someone older, you should shake their hand. And it's very common place in business, among men and women alike.

Maybe my momma really didn't raise me right...

Personally, I was never actually "taught" how to shake hands in any certain way. It just became pretty obvious after being put in positions where you experienced handshakes in various situations, and/or seeing it happen in your environment. I think the only guidance I ever had was people saying you should shake your interviewer's (for a job) hand firmly and meet their gaze directly and confidently. I can't really think of any teachings or advice beyond what I saw for myself.

Maybe it's just our culture, though. It just seems normal to me to always shake hands upon a first greeting, in a professional setting, regardless of gender. If I were shaking a male's hand, it would be firm, but a female's, it wouldn't be as firm. But it wouldn't be a sloppy fish. And it certainly wouldn't be a cheek kiss in any scenario. Not in the south, at least.

As far as friends are concerned, it really would depend on how long it has been since I've seen them and how close we are. For best male friends I haven't seen in a long time, it defaults to the standard half-shake/thumb-lock thing with a possible shoulder-bump and inclusion of a back pat a few times. For female friends, it's always a hug.

Otherwise, for casual friends, there is no shaking or hugging of anything. It's just a vocal greeting.

I'm sure there's a generational aspect at work as well.

View Poll Results: Pick one
Male - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	2	4.88%
Male - Firm hand shake	22	53.66%
Male - Weak hand shake	2	4.88%
Male - Put no thought into it	5	12.20%
Male - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Female - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	1	2.44%
Female - Firm hand shake	7	17.07%
Female - Weak hand shake	0	0%
Female - Put no thought into it	0	0%
Female - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

10-04-2011, 01:15 PM	#31 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	That is so true, and I dislike overtly submissive or dominant people, which is definitely shown by a handshake. Oh and I've noticed that I do adapt my handshake to the person I'm shaking hands with, if I see a burly man, I'll definitely prepare for a more firm handshake (though I don't think I've ever actually overpowered anyone in that respect) and when I see a tiny little woman I just take their hand in mine. Also, the majority of my handshakes aren't really proper, full grasp, hold tight, bob up and down handshakes, more of a hasty grab and let go affairs...:\ __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm Last edited by adidasss; 10-04-2011 at 01:20 PM.

10-04-2011, 06:14 PM	#37 (permalink)
Blarobbarg Do good. Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota Posts: 2,065	It depends on who I'm shaking hands with. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, so the guys seem to expect a strong handshake and the women expect a somewhat firm, but gentle handshake. Personally, I really don't like shaking hands... with anyone I know, I try to just hug if the situation calls for physically saying hello. If it's someone I see all the time, I'm much more likely to just wave or high five or fist bump or... really, anything other than shaking hands.